Buddy’s Point of View…

Hello everyone…Today I have a special guest.  He’s the family dog and his name is Buddy.  I went to visit him today and he was sort of scared…This is where it gets kind of tricky…I’m almost scared to admit it, but he got scared of a chihuahua. Also, he’s been diagnosed with heart worms and his treatments begin tomorrow.

Ola! My name is Buddy and I am a 12-year-old Labrador retriever mix!  Don’t refer to me as a dog because everyone knows I really do try to converse with the humans around me, and it’s not my fault if they can’t understand a thing I am saying.  My human’s mama, Tina spends more time with me lately.  She brushes me and walks me on my leash–well, I should say I walk her since I love taking the leash into my mouth and leading the way.

Yesterday she took me to the vet.  His name is Doctor Burt.  He’s a nice guy and he’s getting grey hair like me! He’s not old like me though.  He says I seem remarkably healthy for an older dog! I run, jump and play like a pup!  However I know Tina got upset.  The doctor said that I have things in my body called heart worms.  She gave me good food at home–sort of like the human food but she didn’t tell me I had medicine in it to fight infections. One of my humans gave me more of it today before Tina took me back to the vet.

I was ready to play at the vet and saw other dogs but Tina wouldn’t let me play with them.  She then walked me to the back of the animal hospital.  I don’t understand why, but she and another nice woman put me in a cage.  When they shut that door, I gave ’em both a piece of my mind too, but I know I heard Tina say, “I don’t know why you’re having such a fit! They can’t neuter you again!”  That’s Tina for you.  She talks to me like I am a human and speaks her mind like I do.  Now if she could just keep Gizmo (the chihuahua my other human owns) to leave me alone when I’m being petted, I would be in Heaven!

I also like cats.  I love to clean kittens and let the cats sleep on my belly!  I don’t know why other dogs chase cats and such, but I am not like that. I’m a good dog!    I have to start getting treated for the heart worms in the morning, but I know why Tina is upset. I heard her talking to my humans on her phone…She’s upset because getting treatment for heart worms is also very dangerous to older dogs.  I won’t be allowed to do anything I like for the next 8 weeks–meaning the only exercise I will get is to be taken out in the yard on a leash to use the bathroom.

You see, as the adult heart worms die, they will travel to my lungs and once there, they decompose and are absorbed back into my body.  This can make me very ill, but it’s very important that I rest because if I get too energetic and start going ape, it can put too much stress on my poor old heart.  My humans love me, and they’ll make sure I’m taken care of now–but mama Tina is ready for me to move in with her.  She really does love me more than she lets on, but that’s okay! I am a good and faithful old friend, and I know she will look after me at either place!

The reason I am telling you all about this stuff going on is that heart worms are preventable.  That is why Tina is so upset.  She always made sure I had all I needed on time as a pup–and so did her sister Ruby!  Now she’s coming through again.  However, it is better for you guys to prevent this by giving your pets their monthly heart worm medication.  It only takes one bite from a mosquito carrying the eggs to put these into your pet’s bodies.  I certainly don’t want any other animal to suffer like I am suffering right now–even if I refuse to show it much around my humans.  Good night for now.


Buddy--Christmas 2o1o

I am Severely PO’d! Heart worms are Preventable People! Inside Pets can get them too!

Where do I begin?  I have dealt with a lot of crap in my life, but I am so angry today, I don’t know whether to yell at someone or what!  I am going to make this short and to the point.  Heart-worms are preventable.  They are caused when animals get bitten by mosquitoes (per my vet) and I am highly pissed that our family pet, Buddy has them.  This dog has lived with other members of my family for years and we always kept his heart worm meds and shots up to date, but I found out that over the past year and a half, he hasn’t even been taken to a vet because he is mostly an “inside animal”…

I took Buddy in today for his shots and his blood test came back positive for heart worms.  After reading the treatment instructions, I realize that curing him can make him just as sick.  I have to take that chance though.  He’s family.  At 12 years old, the treatment (which takes 8-10 weeks) is going to be hell on him and we can’t let him do anything more than go outside to relieve himself during the time of treatment as anything else can be too strenuous on his heart.

Bottom line:  GET the animals checked for heart worms and such when you’re supposed to!  Just because the pet stays inside doesn’t mean that they cannot get them!  I don’t know if I want to yell at the family or what, but I know that I have the money and I am taking this dog to the vet. He will be taken care of or he’s moving  in with ME! Period! End of discussion!  I shall go FUME now!

Buddy at Christmas 2010 I won't say who those are that are caring for him, but they are getting a piece of my mind! Sorry.

Anyone in Corrections Should WATCH THIS FILM!

As a former sergeant at a correctional facility, I struggled constantly with trying to find ways to get through to newer officers (many of them young enough to be my own children) what to watch for in the way of offender behavior.  We showed them state videos and had handouts–which are not that effective as learning tools.  I know this because I am also a certified teacher.  The officers (especially those in the late teens through late 20’s age group) need visuals and things that they can connect to in order to fully contemplate what it is that they should be watching for.

I always recommended one movie to my officers.  That one is “Undisputed II: Last Man Standing“.   In this particular film, Ben Cross plays an offender named Steve Parker.  He plays the part of the offender who is often bullied and such brilliantly, but the part that got my attention the most was the signs he was putting out prior to hanging himself.  This actor pulls every sign off to a “T” and if you don’t believe me, watch it–even if it isn’t the genre you prefer.  This movie is set in a Russian prison, but the corruption and such that it deals with is portrayed so realistically, it can also point out to officers what to watch for in others as well.

The fact that this is a drama that is well acted also makes it interesting enough that the officers can actually take what they learn in training and see everything in a new way.  By recommending this film, you will see that officers are actually grasping what it is you are trying to pound into their head and they will stay awake and listen in your turnouts after watching this.  Honestly, how many of you Lieutenants put your workers to sleep reading those boring  ass handouts and watching the 10 minute fake state videos?  I know in TX it happens A LOT!  That is why it is important to hook them up with something they can connect meaningfully with.

Two of my top officers picked out two offenders they thought were suicidal based on behaviors exhibited by this character in the movie.  They turned out to be right on the money and within 4 weeks, both had to be transported.   It also shows why it is important for officers to be alert to possible issues that should lead them to get an Offender Protection Investigation started–and it is not always due to offenders being sexually assaulted.  This can also tie in to those “Code of Silence” lessons you are trying to pound into their heads when it comes to reporting co-workers for engaging in activities that can endanger other offenders and other officers.   Many offenders  are also extorted and such as well.  There are two advantages to recommending this movie:  First, it is dirt cheap on amazon.com   Secondly, if one life is saved after watching it on your unit, it is worth the buck or whatever the officer spent on it.  Here is a link to the trailer, but the trailer’s focus doesn’t do enough justice to Ben’s character in this film.  He definitely should have gotten recognition for playing this character–a man broken in so many ways–so well.














So now you are dead to me…

You may be breathing, but you are dead to me.  Every lie that you sold makes me very afraid to open my heart, even though it is closed to you for good.  I worked my way through the muck and lies and got to the point to where I am somewhat content with my life, yet your ghost seems to be talking through some of the people I meet.  I hear the hooks you threw out when asked certain questions.  I can now see that like you, some of them are looking for an arrangement.  I don’t play that game anymore.  I really don’t need to be in a “relationship” to validate who the hell I am.  I don’t need a “security blanket” either.

As a result, life is good.  I rose from the ashes to discover my own way of expression.  As the blood runs hot in my veins and through to my pen, I have also found that I need nothing–not money–not power–nothing.  It all goes back to one song by Duran Duran.  “…Freedom puts my faith in none of the above…”

Have a nice life.  I truly hope that you are blessed.  I know that I am truly blessed now that you are only a dark page in a dark chapter of my personal History.  Right now I am content to stay on the page I am on.  It is blank and waiting for me to fill it. It will be filled–on my own terms and in my own way.  Goodbye to you…

With that, I close with this…I’d love to re-make this with an all female band–speeding up the rhythm and totally rocking this song out to the max!  This song just totally kicks ass.  There is also much truth in it, whereas I have yet to discover the truth in your lies…That being said, I am changing the phone number.  I don’t want to hear any more from our “mutual” friends who are also looking for an arrangement now that they know that I have kicked your ass to the curb.   That makes them pretty low on my priority list if you ask me.  After all, if they were YOUR friends, they wouldn’t be trying to put the make on me  knowing my sentiment on the matter, right?  Then again, the fact that they are YOUR friends only tells me that it doesn’t speak much to their character…Sorry but it’s true.

This is sort of like a divorce–only you can have the friends and line of work we were in. I want no part of it ever again.  I want no part of you either. Why? I had to lose myself in order to find myself again.  Once I did that, I realized that I didn’t need you and I certainly don’t need to “fit in” anywhere any longer. I call my shots and I admit my mistakes.  There is freedom in that also–but you will never know it because your whole life has always been nothing but one lie after another.



I have a whole new attitude. For once it is MY life–and I’ll do whatever I damned well please with it.  I know that just kills you since you’ve got some of your friends “spying” on me again.

I originally wrote this in 201o.

Circles and Feathers…

It amazes me how people can truly be, and being part Comanche I am amazed at some of the readings, films and such that are being put out by Native American film companies.  People constantly complain about how Hollywood doesn’t represent family values–but if one stops long enough to think about this,  what we see going on now in today’s schools and among today’s families has happened as part of the circles created by the rocks thrown into the pond of society by psychologists and “experts” since the late 1940’s.

Native  American Film companies do run on principles that are reality based and not grounded in the pop-psychology/New Age thinking.  Many show qualities of common sense and smashing of stereotypes–which I love.  I find it ironic that Hollywood will complain about how certain groups get typecast and such–when they do their own typecasting of people whose values do not line up with their own.  Hollywood is only a visual aid to what is going on in our nation, and what we have is one  bloody hell of a double-standard.

I do not believe in Hillary Clinton‘s idea of how it “takes a village” to raise a child.  It does take a family.  However, her idea is nothing new.  The villages have raised the kids for years.  For example, even in my younger years, if a neighbor had to get onto a kid in the neighborhood–the parents took charge.  Nobody liked giving a spanking, let alone receiving one, but I can assure you that I had a healthy dose of respect if my father, a retired USAF Master Sergeant.  nailed my ass to the wall.  Here is my point on that subject: People need to be careful of what they wish for because in any given era, nobody knows who is going to be running the bloody village–and it may be you they come after if your views do not line up with the views of those in charge.

The orbit of the planets, the repetition of History, reciprocated love (unconditional), etc…is all “circular.  The sun will rise in the East and set in the West.  The winds will blow over the planet in many directions–but these things are all going to be done in a circular fashion.  We are all born and we will all die.  Life and death are also circular…So where do the feathers come in?  Birds fly…They build their nests in circles–and will fly away from and return to them.  There are many things in life that are definitely circular, but when one spreads their wings and can fly unencumbered in life’s circle, then the feathers are most beautiful because that freedom is what they represent.

It does not  matter what lawmakers and politicians do because human beings operate on a law that is not on the books. The spirit of a human being is always free, and so is the mind–even in the most oppressive of regimes.  While I grew up in strict, restrictive settings, it did not mean that the ways that they used were always just or fair.  That is why I raised my children to be who they are–and now what others would like for them to be.  None of them are alike.  However, they are free to be who they are and I accept them as such.  I was accused of being “too liberal” with my parenting–but they have manners and they know how to act.  I think that if a parent teaches their kids not to lie, steal, murder, cheat and/or do drugs–they’ve done their job right–even if the children they raised turn into creatures they don’t really understand and (often) do not recognize.

It is important that they not blame themselves for whatever their grown children are doing.  Those children have to travel in their own circle and fly with their own feathers.  There are times when they crash, all we can do is dress their wounds–after they lick them and dress them, love them and tell them to pick themselves up by their bootstraps or bra straps and drive on.  Even when we are no longer with them, they can still follow our tracks that we’ve left behind to guide them along the way.

Love and acceptance are more of a part of the Native American culture than any other, I think.  They keep their word–even when those they trust fail to do so.  I am much the same way, but never realized how important this trait is.  Hollywood needs to pay more attention to some of the films being put out by the Native American Film industry.  I have seen more great films on lower budgets come out of these companies than some of the major studios in the past ten years–and that is because they do not need to use multi million dollar special effects to make an entertaining film…If you don’t believe me watch the films “Imprint” and “Smoke Signals“. Neither need special effects but “Smoke Signals” doesn’t deal with issues that really would need them.  The Native American film industry doesn’t sell crap to the public–they sell real stories–with realistic outcomes and substance–which is what I look for.

In seeking out my heritage, this is where my flight has led me–films like this.  Why pay so much to see crap in a theater?  Seriously–there are too many movies coming out that are designed strictly for the “Twilight” or “Pirates of the Caribbean” crowds–which are mainly teens and “tweens”.  If one wants intelligent movies anymore–this is where to look with a few exceptions…

This one is for “Smoke Signals”:


This one is for “Imprint”:


Now here is one of the exceptions that will be coming out–and it’s not Native American–but it will be worth watching:


Anything with either Sir Ben Kingsley or Ben Cross is worth the price of a movie ticket…These two actors do NOT make trash movies.  I cannot say the same for a lot of others now-days.  Pick any movie either has been in–and you get intelligent work…People might complain about some of the writing in some of Ben Cross’s movies–but they NEVER bash his acting.  He knows what his audience wants–just like Kingsley does.  This movie will deliver–that much I do KNOW! I’d pay double for anything that comes out with that guy in it.  Just so people can understand where I am coming from, I’d rather see one low-budget movie with a good actor or actress that knows his or her s*** than a high budget flick with absolutely NO substance…Does “Tron” ring a bell here? I’m glad I skipped it….Students warned me about it.  I saw it later via a friend…The students were right.

Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful week.   I’ve flown around this circle enough for one night and it’s time to take care of my delicate feathers!