Facts About Life: 101

I  have not been on a lot but if you think your life is going bad, you need to remember that there is someone out there somewhere who is having a worse go of it than you are. We have to find our own solutions to these dilemmas we go through.

Right or wrong, life is about learning. Once you become unteachable–than you are going to find that you are not only a little fish in a huge pond, but you will find yourself standing alone, stuck at the starting line instead of moving forward in this race called life. You can learn much from anyone around you, but you have to be willing to adapt and accept some changes along the way. If you cannot do this, you will not get very far down the track…

Think about it the next time someone tries to show you something you could do differently. Offering solutions is not designed to hold you back, it’s to help you toward your goal in the end. Change is something anyone has to consider from time to time. In fact we should embrace it, and not fear it, but to learn to adapt to it. If it is something that absolutely cannot work, then we should work together to change THAT, face the problems head-on and not run away. Don’t be closed to the idea of it. You are only hurting yourself if you do. This is lesson 101 in “Facts About Life”.

 

So the question is, how far are you willing to go? This is a new year–a new beginning. Do not let yourself get trapped inside the “box” thinking. Thinking outside of the box will actually help you–not hurt you.  It all goes back to a question I posed a few years ago to a colleague: “What kind of leader do you want to be?”  A good leader is always “teachable and willing to learn”.

We Still Have Then but All We Need is Now…

In 1982, I gave birth to my son, Eric…I had him on my 20th birthday in fact–and even though there are times when the old grouch gets pissed off, he’s still the best birthday present I ever had.   I didn’t give a damn about the politics of the day. I didn’t give a damn what people thought of me too much then–and still don’t…Gee…I wonder where 2 of my kids get that from? I’m smiling sheepishly as I remember those days…I liked bowling, dancing, walking about and above all–writing and listening to music.

While 1982 was a banner year, it was also a year of loss. Hell, we lost Marvin Gaye. Now with all the crap going on, “What’s Going On?” really comes to mind here…Forget the “Sexual Healing” bit…He got a lot of accolades for that one but I still say “What’s Going On?” is one of his best.

I can say a lot about 1982 right now…first it was a “Thriller”…. 1982, I was so “Caught Up in You”.  I loved it loud then, and “I Love It Loud” now.  I wonder if “Jack and Diane” ever got into saying “If You Want My Love” to each other?  If they did, maybe it was in the “Heat of the Moment”.

I do know if they had tried to pass the Patriot Act in 1982 there would have been a loud “I Can’t Go For That” being screamed in D.C.  Has anyone ever figured out what the “Young Turks” needed to be free from yet? Just wondering.  However as far as men and women go, I haven’t heard anyone trying to use “I’ve Been Waiting for a Girl Like You” as a  pick up line in a bar yet…

We have learned that it is best to take the advice Rick Springfield gave us…”Don’t Talk to Strangers” because serial killers do not make it “Hurt So Good” now do they?  Funny how when we were young we didn’t seem to worry about too much of that stuff, or did we?  Well I know I didn’t.  I do know that my exes were never “Always on My Mind” when I got enough balls to say “Goodbye to You”.

Well whatever went on in “Allentown”–it wasn’t “Sexual Healing”…Hedonism was the furthest thing from the imagination in that part of the country as well, I think.  However, there was some “Tainted Love” going on until someone decided to “Shake It Up” a bit when they found out their sweetheart was the “Centerfold”–that is, until someone younger came along and the agent said “Abracadabra” and that model got replaced by a younger one a few years later…

Some also said “I Ran Away” because it was “Hard for Me to Say I’m Sorry”.  I can fully prove that was a lie. I just opted for the “Thriller” of a time when someone asked “Don’t You Want Me”? I said no and then turned back to my ultimate love at the time…I mean, most who know me will be the first to tell you that “I Love Rock N Roll”–which left “Rosanna” slightly perplexed as in counseling, she thought I wanted to be a writer and not a rock star.

In music, there was always harmony between “Ebony and Ivory”–until the hair bands told everyone else to “Beat It”. So what did the rest of us young fools do? We went to “Rock the Casbah” while possessing the “Eye of the Tiger”!  We got so “Physical” in that fight that we left “Billie Jean” perplexed and lying in the dust!

And after that fight, we were “Hungry Like the Wolf”….

Well that was a long time ago. And now that I’ve compiled this morbidly insane  list from ONE video  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAGYIvg1FHk  in order to complete this writing exercise, with the exception of “Hungry Like the Wolf”– which is included because, quite simply, I know it came out in 1982, I hope you enjoyed this ridiculous trip down memory lane since I was under immense “Pressure” to hurry up and get it done prior to going to bed…By the way, “Pressure” by Billy Joel is not in the video either which surprises me because it was a damned good song!   I should know…I didn’t forget my birthday that year or the fact I gave birth to Eric then!

However, in the present “All You Need is Now”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X3O4PCP5MM     In fact, that is all I need too.  Have a great night!

How Times Have Changed…

In 2014, the 3oth Anniversary of Live Aid will be celebrated, I’m sure.  1984 was a self-defining Christmas for me and for a lot of my generation because we were forced for the first time in our hedonistic generation’s existence to think about someone else in another part of the globe. The artists had the guts to put this in our faces and to this day I still respect them for it.

In recent years we’ve seen so much focus on the self among our own youth that somewhere along the road, they didn’t find that same sense of purpose–yet. It appears to me that we are so focused on ourselves and pissed about what our government is doing in this country that we’ve lost sight of ONE fact.  WE CAN CHANGE THINGS–ONE PERSON AT A TIME.  However we must start with ourselves. We can and must  lead the way for a younger generation.  We cannot leave this up to others because it is not their job to do our job. It is up to us to impart a sense of what is good and what is right into our children, our grandchildren and in a few more years–maybe our great-grandchildren.

Have a great weekend, and enjoy the video. I hope it renews the fire in your soul that we had back when were younger.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjQzJAKxTrE

 

They started it all…

 

We Spend Our Lives Doing TWO things: Becoming and Dying…

I know this sounds bleak in a title, but it really isn’t. It isn’t fatalistic either.  Is it just possible that we spend so much time trying to work on others that we forget where our focus really SHOULD be? I think so. That is why I opt for brutal honesty. I know I can’t change a damned thing about the past or the future because those are two things I cannot control, but I can control how I react when put in a certain spot.

I nearly got killed tonight. No kidding. Some bonehead decided to slam his brake when NOTHING was in front of his vehicle. My son was driving and we were going the speed limit (75 mph). He swerved to the right and fish-tailed.  “Ease up on the brake and stay calm.” Shit! I don’t know how that came out of my mouth, but it did. He swerved again to the right and fish-tailed again, then over corrected. This resulted in being spun around across the freeway and landing in the median. He tried to start the car and it wouldn’t start. “Brian, put it in park.” Once he did, it ran fine. No damage to the vehicle and more importantly none to us or my dog!

I don’t know HOW I managed to stay calm during that crap, but I was shook up when it was over. I said, “Let’s get the hell out of this ditch and go home!” and we did.  It was a miracle that he didn’t hit another vehicle, and more importantly, that we are alive.  He was laughing a few minutes later, and made a comment about reliving “Too Fast and Too Furious”…

I looked at him and said, “Brian, that is not funny to me.”  I think he was just grateful that we were alive and that is how he handled being shook up.

Either way it could have turned out very differently.  Brian and I are working hard on improving from within, and then this happens. It just goes to show that in an instant, the world can be changed for our loved ones. When we got to Kevin’s house (my other son), I gave him his birthday presents and hugged my daughter-in-law and my son. I held onto my grandson for a bit as well.  Let’s just say it gave me a new perspective on things this time of year, but  in the end, are we not all born to die?

Better yet, didn’t Beckett describe it best?, “…We are all born astride a grave…”?

I’d rather die working on the person I’m trying to become, than to regret the person who is now dead that is my past being,  OR  meet my future being who might be a bit more cranky than this particular incarnation of me in the present…

And how was your weekend?

 

Less is More…

I am moving away by choice. I am moving closer to my work and taking my faithful friend–BUDDY with me. Buddy is my dog that I’ve had for almost 14 years & wasn’t about to part with him. He still thinks he’s about five, too… 😉  I’m going to have to part with a lot of stuff because it is a small place, but I will have my privacy.  I will also finally be able to sit back and do a lot of thinking–and actually be able to cook.  However, fear not!  I test my food before I let anyone else have it. If I can get around a kitchen without blowing it up, it is a miracle totally equal to the immaculate conception!

My books, dvds, jewelry and a few other things are going with me.  However I do have to part with some things to get smaller things–like my TV and stand. They are too big to fit. Other than that, I have several things I will NOT part with that are smaller, and if no one comes to stay in the other bedroom, that is going to be my writing/computer room., but I’m sure Buddy is going to claim a corner to crash in!  He always does!

I also look forward to living alone again.  I actually look forward to being able to watch my Banshee dvd’s and such, which should arrive in July or the first part of August.  I’ll have to change the order up to get it shipped to where I’m going.  I’ll probably have them shipped to my workplace. I am going to get the poster and T-Shirt too. I love shows with good acting and logical plots–and despite the nickname of the Cinemax channel, this show has those things.

The only main drawback is that I will not get to see my grand kids as much.  They are moving in the opposite direction.  However, I hope they come to Midland to visit once in a while.   I would  lay down my life for my boys or the grand kids in a heartbeat. However, I always love a quiet evening sitting outside in a lawn chair,  where the only sounds I hear are the wind, the birds and the occasional roar of thunder before I have to go back inside.

I also love the sound of rain hitting a tin roof, and the sight of the stars and the full moon–which I’ll also be able to enjoy.  These are some of the things people take for granted.  For me, it will be almost like a return to known territory–almost like a sanctuary, which I need so, so badly right now.

I will have a quiet place of my own so that I can get back to writing as well.  I need that type of space to work on “Centuries Under the Moon” anyway.   I really like the idea of having a female lead, with a female perspective on the modern world–despite the fact she died well over 200 years prior…

Anyway, have a great night.

April 9, 1929

Kenneth B. O’Neill USAF Msgt. (Ret-1972) 1929-1995

 

On this day in 1929, my father was born.  I heard the story about how hard times were–to the point where my grandpa often stole chickens and such to keep the family fed.  They picked cotton. They worked the fields and they were very creative.  My grandmother, Mary E. O’Neill played an organ, Dad could write and Uncle Jackie could also–in fact, my uncle had a photographic memory!  He could read a book and remember it almost word for word, page number and chapter of what he wanted to tell us about.  In short, Uncle Jackie was a genius!

I”ll share some of the funny stuff at some point but for now, I’m just going to sit back and remember some of the fun things–like when we all went camping at Ringling Lake in Eastland, TX.

He’s been gone since 1995, but I think of him every year. I’m a little late tonight, but I was always late for everything when I was young–except school and work.  I drove my dad nuts if I didn’t call when I was supposed to, but today I wish I could call him…I miss him more than anyone can comprehend, but if I could call him, I’d introduce him to this little guy–his great-grandson!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=409471489133877&set=vb.100002130892797&type=3&theater

I see a little of Dad in him…Just enough to lemme know that that boy has the Irish in him!  I think his hair is going to be like Dad’s too, but it’s too early to tell…

Anyway, if my dad is out there somewhere with his arms folded across his chest wondering what the heck is going on around here, I just wanna say this:  “Happy Birthday, Dad! You can put your halo back on now. I remembered!”

😉

 

 

Nana and Easter…

It’s funny how at this time of year, I think of my Grannie Ainsworth a lot.  She would start cooking deserts the night before at the latest…I remember those huge tin tubs filled with dyed eggs–and believe me we needed that many eggs!  Sometimes more than 30 people who show up and we ate in shifts!  Sometimes Grannie invited neighbors in too and there was always enough food to feed a small army!

My favorite was porcupine meatballs!  Still is! When I look at my grandson right now, I wonder what he’ll remember when he’s older.  The girls will get to hunt too! I’m going to be coming back from vacation and will spend Easter Sunday at my mother’s and I’m hoping everyone shows up.

Grannie always went to church and then went right back to the kitchen! I remember those wooden pews in the Fundamental Baptist Church and those old oscillating fans–with the red blades and such.  I also remember times I sat with her on the back of the truck, eating eggs until I thought I’d explode!  I also remember when I was really small that Grandpa Ainsworth helped me get the ones out of the trees because I was too short to reach!

I also remember the Saturday prior.  We’d sit around the TV and watch all kinds of music shows.  This included Hee-Haw and a lot of Gospel music.  For those not born yet, prime time TV usually had little to pick from. It was football, baseball, music, etc…I remember black and white TV‘s as well as when we got our first color TV.  Here’s an example of what we saw too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=7tsvaAIcMnc&NR=1

But this was my particular program to keep still for!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqbDZjC5bdE

And I always got a kick out of his lady too! She sang about topics nobody would touch!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgylOni0JSI

I remember how Mom made dresses for me back in those days too, and I loved them. She’d buy me one for Easter, but the ones she made were pretty cool!  I never had the knack for sewing that she did or the knack for cooking she and my Grannie had. I thought it interesting that Grannie could make such perfect things and never use a measuring cup.  I never saw her with one until I was older.

Once we got through at Grannie Ainsworth’s house–we went for round 2 at Grannie O’Neill’s too!

I still remember what a #2 can is and such too. Who else does?  Better yet, who remembers those big boxes of commodity cheese or the chicken that the USDA gave out?  Now that was some good stuff! My dad made a great batch of chicken and dressing with that chicken!  Below is a pic of my Grannie and Grandpa Ainsworth…I miss them both.

Sometimes Nana DOES know best…

Lil’ Man’s daddy decided to get a motorcycle…Nana said, “Don’t get that! It’s a damned death trap!” because she KNOWS her sons.  Well, guess what?! He didn’t even have it 36 hours, wiped out and hurt his shoulder.  He’s in a sling. I went to take him some money, but he had me to go ALL the way across town to take it to Daphne and told me to do so via the phone because he didn’t want me to see him like that. God help her!  I took it to her and let her know what he said to me…

Now bear in mind I had NO idea about his wrecking the motorcycle already. He never said a word about it.  She burst out laughing and told me EVERYTHING.  I then made it a point to call and say “I told you so!” and one of these days when I am dead and gone, I am certain that they will hear those four words echo in their heads every time they do something that in my life worried me to death about them all!  I take comfort in the fact that ONE DAY Lil’ Man’s daddy is going to know this feeling ALL TOO WELL!

Sometimes things do NOT change when the kids are grown…We still are concerned over them and there are times when we KNOW their personalities well enough that we KNOW with dead on accuracy that there are some things they cannot handle. Lil Man’s dad and motorcycles definitely do not mix…

Have a great weekend!

Letter to Lil Man:

Dear Kevin D. (aka “Lil Man) Thomas:

You are a child who is blessed with a mother and father that love you.  When I held you in my arms the day you were born, it brought back memories of when I held your father in my arms.  Like your father before you, I knew you were a fighter with a strong spirit.  Even now, almost 7 months later, I can see the love in your eyes just as I saw it in his.  When you reach for your mother, in your eyes, you are reaching for your guardian angel.

I may not show my emotions much, but they are there.  I would lay down my life for you, your mother, your brother and sisters, your father and/or your uncles on any day of the week. That is how much I love you all.  One day you will know what I mean by that but for now I log that here.  Maybe one day, when you are old enough to read it, then you will understand that our blood runs deeper than the muddy waters of the Mississippi River and our ancestry is important–all sides of it so embrace it and learn about it.

While I am here, I will show you what I can, but the rest will be up to you one day.  May you walk in beauty.  May the road rise up to meet you and the wind be at your back as well.  Above all,  These are blessings from  2 parts of your ancestry–the Irish and the Native American. You must also learn of all of your ancestors for there are valuable things you can carry through life with you.  I do know that  a wise person will always find his or her way (from a Tanzanian proverb) and that is my hope for you–to find a way–YOUR way in life.  

Know who you are and where you come from. That is something nobody can ever take away from you. Above all, when you are older, live your life and go for your dreams. That is my hope for you.

With Love,

Nana

PS:  Sleep well, Lil Man…

 

Nana and the Techno-Challenge…Man I Got an Awakening!

I love the fact that there is always new technology out there to make our lives easier but this post is directed at those on a budget.  I raised 3 sons and believe me, we did NOT keep up with the Jones‘s. I don’t believe in it. That being said, I decided to make a trip to Best Buy and check out some I Phones…I quickly figured out why some I Phone 3’s and 4’s are being resold too…The plans are not worth it.  There is no reason why a  family on a tight budget should be buying these things for a teenager.  Thank God, my boys are 30, 27 and 24.  Now I am going to go into one very good reason why parents should hold off on this.  The plans available (at least in TX) are NOT unlimited plans.  They use the same towers and such, but yet no plans are unlimited. Why is that? I can tell you…Pure greed.

If my boys were teens, I’d be telling them they’d have to have part-time jobs to pay their phone bills…IF a company does not offer unlimited talk, text and web–I would NEVER use them.  Teenagers do not need these things and I know that some parents are made to feel bad about hesitating to get these things.  This time of year it is the time when parents have the urge to want the best of everything for the kids, but here is my suggestion and I hope it helps. If you REALLY cannot afford the things, get the android ones.  Many companies offer unlimited plans and since there are no overage charges, you will sleep a lot easier.  If older teens persist in trying to get you to spend money on these expensive toys, then it’s perfectly fine to let them work a 20 hour a week job and make it clear that they MUST PAY THEIR OWN PHONE bill to keep the phone on.

A lot of the android phones will save you an average of $35 a month or more depending on the plan you do get and if it is a prepaid android phone, and these are good for first time users because it simply cuts off when the plan is expired or until it is renewed.  For what most teens use it for, these android phones are good enough because the cost of apps and games for the I Phones also run into money.

Personally, IF I were making plenty of money I wouldn’t mind having one but since I’m not running a business and such, I don’t see a need for most of the I Phone applications and since most teens watch videos, play on Facebook or use the game apps, I would suggest waiting on getting an I Phone and get them an android.  Teens tend to break a lot of stuff too, so get the extended warranties, insurance, etc…  Now if they come out with an unlimited plan, then I will consider it.  Even for Skype, I would rather use my laptop when I get it to where I can download on it. I just had a new hard drive installed and I’m being very particular on this issue.

I am sure the I Phone is a great one, but do I want to spend a fortune on one right now? No. I have bills that come first and if people out there are having a hard time at this time of year, the last thing anyone would need is another bill to look forward to that might not stay the same each month.