Thoughts on Friendship…

A friend who cannot accept that you have differences is not your friend.  A friend will not turn their back on you or betray your trust. They will accept that although you won’t agree on everything, they will defend you regardless because it is your RIGHT to be who you are. Those who cannot accept you as you are have the issues. Not you.  If they turn their backs on you and treat you badly, that is their loss and not yours.  YOU don’t need people to validate who you are, that comes with your own inner voice.  You must follow your convictions, not theirs.

If one is willing to let differences of opinions, color of skin, political affiliations, sexual orientations and such affect him/her in such a way that they do not even want to hear you out or try to find out why you feel the way you do, THEY have the problem. Not you. That being said I have always found it best to detach from many and not let people get close to me. I really don’t require human contact and do not need anyone to “validate” who I am.  I do not look for any person to come riding in on a white horse to save me. I had to take care of some things myself–and let God do his job…And he’s got a lot of work ahead of him…Trust me.

Since WHEN Does ANYONE Need to “JUSTIFY” Their Opinion?

I will  never understand why it is some of these “armchair” experts who come onto Facebook think they are entitled to have someone justify their “opinion” on something. Unless my opinion directly hinders their ability to go out and buy a product of their choice or enjoy a night on the town, then it is just rather childish for them to keep goading me for a response on such things.  I start by saying, “What’s it to you when you aren’t going to change my opinion on it?” and they keep on and on like the damned Duracell Bunny.  Look familiar?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BQITyhgUCM

Like the puppy that won’t let up–they keep on playing around until they give up or I block them.  Look, if one is going to be on Facebook,  then he/she needs to learn when to back off. Nobody and I mean NOBODY has to justify to anyone why they have opinions on certain issues that they do. That is life.  Be an adult about it and deal with it. If you go in there looking for a debate or a fight, then you’ve already lost on your point.

I have certain opinions on life and such. Everyone else does too.  However, I’m not going to debate anyone on those issues because WHAT led me to have those opinions is none of their bloody business.  Nobody on Facebook is going to try to sit there and (as one idiot I blocked put it) analyze my motivations and such.  I really have no motivations in the sense this guy was alluding to–and deluding himself in the process. I am an older woman and I have my own thoughts on life and how things SHOULD  be.  IF my opinion (or any poster’s opinion) is posted, it is not for the purpose of public debate.  On many issues my opinion is fixed. It won’t change and this person just could not accept that and shut up.  So yeah…I blocked him.  When they become argumentative trolls that is the best thing to do.

And it really irks me when these trolls are young enough to be my kid, too.  Some of them should have been taken to the woodshed like their parents were, and given a damned good hiding!  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like spanking children but I can think of a few adults who need a hiding more than their kids EVER did!  There are examples of these all over Facebook too!

I think some of this behavior goes to an entitlement mentality.  There are people out there who feel that they have some sort of divine or universal right to question everyone and everything and try to box them into a position of having to justify themselves over the most ridiculous stuff.  I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t have to justify “WHY” I have a certain opinion to ANYBODY if I don’t want to. That is all there is to that.  If these types of people cannot deal with the fact that my opinion may differ from THEIRS then they have a personal problem.   In fact, to me they are just another form of bully, which I will not tolerate.

I Stand Alone Yet Not Alone

I am one alone. I walk my mountain in solitude, even as the approach of autumn means my birds and such are beginning to leave. It is in this place I am safe. It is in this place I am one with all that surrounds me and know that although I stand alone, I am not alone.  As the cool air blows through the trees which are about to enter their slumber, the Earth beneath my feet seems to energize my inner being by letting me know that no one has carved into her and marred her any further here–yet.  Hopefully no one ever will.

The foxes aren’t here right now. They seem to be staying in their own domiciles as of late.  Once in a while I see a few stray birds up in the sky of blue. I feel a sadness at their departure, but  with joy knowing that they will return in the Spring.  All is a reminder that the circle continues and will not end–even when the day comes that my life is over.

I hope to be by the Ocean again one day and far away. We shall see what awaits me, that is for certain. Have a great day.

From the Top

What beauty this all has for me!

rainbow

 

This Has GOT To STOP! How Can Anyone Do This Crap?!

Usually I can look at something and keep my cool, but when I hear about child pornography rings and animal cruelty–those are two hot button subjects that IMMEDIATELY pull my trigger and set me off!

Please sign this petition:  http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/863/365/434/?cid=FB_TAF

This is one sick individual who should never see light outside of a jail cell for her many acts of cruelty against defenseless animals and she has the gall to call this shit “art”?!  Hello! What the hell kind of crack was the judge smoking to let this slide being that in TEXAS this shit IS illegal?

People, these are the sick individuals that graduate to SERIAL KILLING!  Read about Charles Eng, Ted Bundy, Ed Gein, Wayne Gacy and countless others. They started with puppies, kittens, and other defenseless animals.  THIS HAS GOT TO STOP in America. We should NEVER, EVER tolerate this under the guise of “art” or any other bullshit they try to use to make their sickening behavior more “justifiable” to the public.

I am not kidding when I stress that people who are this sick are in the same league as child pornographers.  NONE of them should ever be out among society.  Neither we, our children, our grandchildren,  and/or our pets are safe with sick people like this on the loose!

I have an immense love for animals.  I’ve had dogs, cats, gerbils, hamsters and such from the time I was a kid. I even once had a white mouse named “Brutus”.  I cannot even bring myself to apologize for the heated anger or vernacular in this post because I am so worked up right now.. Let’s get together with others who can help us stop this crap dead in its tracks, please! Thank you.

 

It’s the “Nightlife” Special”…

This is one of my FAVORITE movies…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIGLOd241xw

 

How many of you have actually seen this? Well, it came to mind again recently.  On July 4th weekend, I truly regret that I had not one single fifth to enjoy…In fact, I haven’t had a drink in months and when I do, it’s on the weekends–usually or on days off. However I did receive 2 pints of the “Nightlife Special” (A+)  courtesy of the Martin County ER in Stanton, TX. The staff was great!

To begin, I felt really weak and light-headed at work. As I was driving toward Stanton, I knew something wasn’t right. Things started to appear to be “brighter” than usual…I decided to get to the ER.  When I got there, I revealed that I had been bleeding for 30 days straight–no stopping in sight.

They did blood work and I waited for what seemed like forever, but it really wasn’t that long, I don’t think. I got frustrated and walked to the nurses station. I cut up with them a bit and had them laughing before the doctor came back in…He looked at my blood work and said, “I do not see how you are walking.”  I asked him what he meant and he told me “Your hemoglobin has dropped to 5 and the normal is around 15.  You need to get back on the bed. You need at least 2 pints of blood.”

Well, dammit…Can’t blame this one on Vlad…Poor guy…I asked the doctor, “Well does this mean I now qualify as an honorary cast member of the “Walking Dead”?…” He just smiled and said, “You’ll feel a lot better when you get the blood.”

Then I called my boss and filled him in on the details since I had left work.  He’s a very gracious man and he knows I”m scared to death.  On top of this, I am a needle phobe. Skip the lollipop, I’d rather get booze infused, myself. That is how much needles frighten me.  Needless to say, by the time I was done, I felt like a used up voodoo doll with no place left to stick.  I have a follow-up on the 12th and I’m going to have to see a gynecologist and a hematologist at some point.  As it turns out I have pernicious anemia.  A former doctor took me off of iron, without doing blood work and diagnosed me as going through menopause. The diagnosis is incorrect.  I’m NOT going through that as previously thought.  However, this anemia is dangerous. I always did take iron and B supplements, but had stopped the iron. That is what brought me to this point.  To date, I don’t recall ever having to have had a blood transfusion until now, but I feel it saved my life.

When I called my sister she told me that I was diagnosed with anemia as a child. I must have been very small because I don’t remember it, but I am glad they told me now.

Gee…This could have gotten really, really bad…In fact, it did.  I’m on light duty for a while and I am trying to get my system back on track. That being said, please keep my family in your thoughts as they are very concerned. Until then, here’s my favorite clip from “Nightlife”!  Ciao! And check out the scene with the housekeeper! :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jp-HX9ETKNw

 

Anemia is a very serious thing…

The other day I had to go to the ER.  The staff was great. As usual, my dry wit kept them in stitches, until shit got serious.  I was walking around because sitting still is next to impossible for me and the doctor looked at me and said, “I don’t know how you’re walking right now.”   I said, “What to you mean?”  Then he said, “You need to go into the room. Your hemoglobin is at 5.  That’s not good.”

After asking him if I now qualify as an honorary cast member of the Walking Dead, I went back to the room and waited a bit.  I thought I’d get a shot and go home but I soon found out my condition is more complicated.

My body doesn’t absorb B12 from what I eat, so my body didn’t make enough healthy red blood cells. I got on the phone and found out from my mom that I was diagnosed with Pernicious Anemia as a kid. Well, I don’t remember much about my childhood but this stuff can get lethal–seriously.  Not getting enough B12 can lead to organ failure.  My condition was worsening and something had to be done.  The next thing I know, I got 2 pints of blood put into me.  I was also told that my iron was way too low even though I take iron so I have to up that dosage. My body doesn’t absorb that very well from food either.

On top of all of this, as it turned out, my excessive visit from Aunt Flo (as a dear friend calls it) was actually hemorrhaging.  However, I was right about ONE thing in all of this…I am NOT going through menopause yet.  For that, I did get a shot and it’s finally coming to a trickle and I was told it will stop it. Thank god…

Anyway, this weekend was an adventure I’d rather not relive so I am going to be very proactive from here on in. I really thought my fatigue was in my head and the cravings for ice were from the intense West TX heat…I learned the cravings for ice is a condition called “Pica” which is one of the symptoms of the anemia when it is getting very bad. My co-workers had also noticed my energy level was down and I was (in their words) “chalk-white” for some time. They had told me to slow down for a month now.

The moral of the story is, “Don’t assume anything is in your imagination. Most likely, it’s not. Take care of your body because you only have one life and to not take care of these things early is a wee bit on the insane side.”

 

Food for Thought: Don’t Go on YouTube if You’re a Dumb Twit!–Nana’s on a Roll!

Good morning everyone! Now that I have gotten your attention I want to say a few things before you view this video that Carly Taylor posted on YouTube.  First off, she is a con artist. Secondly, she is racist.   This video is  full of foul-language but I used it for a training tool.  I even called Dunkin’ Donuts corporate over this and demanded they do something about this woman because what she is doing in the process of breaking a few federal laws is scamming for a free meal.  I say she is scamming because she waited for the next shift to show up with a video camera to harass what appears to be a minor (Needi) at work.

Not only did she make terroristic threats toward the staff, she also videotaped customers and staff without getting a SIGNED release prior to posting to YouTube. If she has a business degree, as she claims, she truly needs a refund because she got short-changed and her lawyer (if she didn’t lie about having one) should be disbarred for not telling her to STHU and leave the video camera at home.  Anyone who appears on that video can sue her and that is one of the reasons Dunkin’ Donuts needs to file an injunction against her since she had no permission to be video taping in their establishment.  Most journalists won’t even do this crap unless they are investigating ILLEGAL activity in order to expose it.

She wouldn’t have lasted 20 seconds in my store. I promise you all that she would have been escorted out in handcuffs within 60 seconds.  This is what SHOULD have happened:

1. Management should have been present. If they were, it wasn’t indicated.

2. Management should have directed her and warned her that she would have to leave if she didn’t turn off the camera.

3. I would have stated on camera, you do not have permission to use my image or that of any other employee on any public forum. Please turn off the video camera and we will get your meal.

4. If she refused, I would not have spoken further given the fact that she was belligerent and making threats, I would have gotten her locked up.  As I said she violated several federal laws here–one of which was to make a terroristic threat toward staff and NO establishment should EVER tolerate such abuse.

5. Corporations need to give all staff training for these situations and the authority to take action when this is taking place in case management is occupied with vendors and such.  The remedy for such issues should not be limited solely to management staff. Any employee should be able to kick such people out of the establishment. It is common sense.

Here is the link to the video (Warning: Again, this video does contain foul-language!) :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7UElWxqGIs

If there is one thing Nana hates, it is racism. If Needi (the employee threatened) was a minor, I hope her parents also filed charges.  To me Ms. Chapman is nothing more than a con artist trying to get her 15 minutes of fame, but if you read the comments under her video, it obviously backfired on her, and rightfully so.

Here is another link about this to look at.  It’s a pretty good article too for coming from “The Smoking Gun”…

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/viral-video/polite-dunkin-donuts-worker-768402

I was so angry when I saw this that I used this video to train staff on how to handle this situation.

Remembering the Monster

Part of Kit was terrified, and another part told herself that nothing would come of it.  Karen had knocked the crap out of her again after getting into a fight with her dad yelling, “This was your fault! If you weren’t here–” and she stopped as she reached into her purse next to her in the car and pulled out that damned pistol again.  She put it up against Kit’s head but Kit stared straight ahead. This was a child who had been down this road, in the darkness of the night with that gun at her head so many times, she simply didn’t give a shit anymore. In her mind, at least it would end if Karen actually did pull the trigger. As she felt the barrel against her left temple she stared up at the moon.

The air was cold since it was January and the stars seemed to be very bright. Kit loved looking at them. She often wondered what it would like to fly up into where they were.

“Are you listening to me!?,” Karen screamed, “You had better be listening!”

Kit then looked at her and said, “Nothing scares me anymore. Not even that gun. Not even you. Either do it or let me go live with Mom.”

The gun was now pressed against her forehead.  The barrel was cold and Karen’s hand was shaking as Kit stared into her eyes.

“Stop looking at me damn you! If you go to school one more time and tell them–”

“You’ll what?! Blow my head off? Do it. I told you I’m not afraid anymore. I don’t care!” Kit yelled as she kept staring straight into her eyes.

The now 13-year-old was quite resolute in her statement. She saw no way out of the house of horrors so she began to stand up to the monster.  That monster was Karen.

Karen threw the silver pistol back into her purse, started the car and sped off with Kit still inside. She took her across town to Jack’s house.  She then reached across the seat and opened Kit’s door.

“Get the hell out of here and go inside! If you say one word to Jack I swear I’ll–”

“Whatever…Same old crap!” Kit said to her as she shut the door and began to take a step back.

With that Karen peeled out with such force that Kit was knocked down.  The child got up, dusted off her jeans and went to the door. It took a long while for  her to go to sleep, and her sister-in-law was asking what had happened but Kit only responded, “With Karen what doesn’t happen?”

The entire family felt powerless to help the child.  The only way Karen stopped hitting her was when her mother got wind of it.  Her mother delivered a personal message via her aunt down the street.

“If you touch Kit or my son one more time, Bitch, I’ll kill you myself.” was the message.

Kit would not find out about this until she was in her 20’s but often wondered why during the last six months of Karen’s life she tended to just storm off when things got tense between her and her dad.  She didn’t even bully Kit during that time other than to scream at her once in a while. Kit got to where she would tune her out.

When Kit entered her cell she would look at the green shades and cringe once in a while. She would then look at the wall she decorated.  She put up a red tartan bedspread on her wall for an accent wall and then covered it with Beatles and Bay City Rollers posters.  She also had a huge poster of Paul McCartney and Wings on the other side of her room.

On the other side was her doll collection.  She had Native American dolls, Japanese dolls, the first Revlon doll ever made and a lot of other antique ones–which got sold out from under her little by little  after Karen’s death–along with her TV because her dad said, “You don’t need this stuff anymore.  He then replaced it with stuff Karen had–which she didn’t want.  She worked for her things and now they were taken from her one day while she was at school.  He gave the stereo she did babysitting  for to her brother and then gave her Karen’s which pissed her off totally.

While Karen did have a better one, she wanted no reminders. She liked her white one. She paid for it with her money. Now her brother had it. She had a 19” black and white TV she liked watching. He put Karen’s 9″ portable color TV in there.  That also pissed her off–especially since it had to be sent for repairs every time she turned around.  However one night she was watching and a video from the  year prior came on.  It was “Mull of Kintyre” by Paul McCartney and Wings.

It would be that video that would spawn her desire to see other places.  She loved how the kids in that video were having fun down by the fire on the beach–something she never got to do.  As thoughts of the monster began to fade a bit at night, those thoughts were replaced with new ones–and when the green shades came down, it marked a new freedom for Kit.  It was at this point she picked up a pen and began creating new worlds, new people and dreaming of a new life.  She had never seen mist  rolling in from the Ocean and longed for it…One day she would, but for now, the video had to do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5626WzsfMw

This was the video that started that journey for her so many years ago.  The open land and the beach…The smiles on people’s faces…These were the things that she loved to see on TV.  And later in that year–1978, she would find out what a “normal” family was…She would realize then how abnormal her life had been and it would also make new thoughts churn in her head as she pulled out her pen and paper.

 

Nana’s Top Songs About Being “Broken”:

Sometimes songs depict various situations in life, or at least the emotions behind them.  Some are by artists of faith and others are not.  I know a lot of “broken” spirits right now. Some have lost partners. Some lost children. Some lost jobs and their homes, etc…Some lost their childhood. These are the top songs for various situations that can leave one “broken”.  Some are going to be more familiar than others–and some are a tribute to those who love the broken just as they are–or those who know they will find their way…And I threw one on here for those who are hypocritical enough to judge the broken, yet have never walked in their shoes. Enjoy–and grab your Kleenex if you are broken…At least you will know you are not alone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZt7J0iaUD0  Luka–Suzanne Vega

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6l1kpJ0x5k   Home Free–Wayne Watson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCZ1YteCv5M  “What It’s Like”–Everlast (dedicated to the hypocrites everywhere–they are as broken as those they victimize, I think…)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1QGnq9jUU0  “My Heart is Broken“–Evanescence

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAfyFTzZDMM  “Beautiful”–Christina Aguilera

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miazVAj2PxA  “I Probably Wouldn’t Be This Way“–Leann Rimes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttggMJeUAo4  “When You Were Mine”–The Dixie Chicks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saalGKY7ifU  “My Heart Will Go On”–Celine Dion

NOW FOR THE ONES THAT REALLY GET TO ME PERSONALLY:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_KhkXNF6-U  “Mr. Perfect”–Pink  (I love this song)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1GmxMTwUgs  “Angel”–Sara McLachlan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSjIz8oQuko  “Family Portrait”–from a girl’s perspective–parental break ups are hell. So is living in WW3.  I experienced the latter in a much different way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUfgAbFY4CA  “Wonderful”–Everclear  One of the best songs involving divorce from a kid’s perspective I have ever heard in my life. Parents should listen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ7oqmikZDQ  “Untitled”–Simple Plan  This video accurately depicts how driving drunk destroys a family. Watch it…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7l98wiQx0s  “Broken”–Lindsey Haun

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MS91knuzoOA “Jeremy”–Pearl Jam   Sometimes children break to the point that they kill themselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPG1n1B0Ydw  “Stay”–Sugarland   Sometimes it is the other woman who is the stronger one when she realizes it’s best to walk the hell away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gmgwx77osw&list=FL5P37z_TMECOYMgJMs0RE6w  “I Was Only 19“–Video from The Herds version of “I was only 19” with the music of the original by Redgum.  This is the very best song about PTSD I have ever heard and the video kicks ass.  This  is an Australian video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je8mrb31D1g  “All That You Are”–The Goo Goo Dolls   AND if we have people in our lives who help us to reach this point, we’re damned lucky!

There…Pick and choose! Anyway these are a few of my favorite songs about various states of being.

 

April 9, 1929

Kenneth B. O'Neill USAF Msgt. (Ret-1972)  1929-1995

Kenneth B. O’Neill USAF Msgt. (Ret-1972) 1929-1995

 

On this day in 1929, my father was born.  I heard the story about how hard times were–to the point where my grandpa often stole chickens and such to keep the family fed.  They picked cotton. They worked the fields and they were very creative.  My grandmother, Mary E. O’Neill played an organ, Dad could write and Uncle Jackie could also–in fact, my uncle had a photographic memory!  He could read a book and remember it almost word for word, page number and chapter of what he wanted to tell us about.  In short, Uncle Jackie was a genius!

I”ll share some of the funny stuff at some point but for now, I’m just going to sit back and remember some of the fun things–like when we all went camping at Ringling Lake in Eastland, TX.

He’s been gone since 1995, but I think of him every year. I’m a little late tonight, but I was always late for everything when I was young–except school and work.  I drove my dad nuts if I didn’t call when I was supposed to, but today I wish I could call him…I miss him more than anyone can comprehend, but if I could call him, I’d introduce him to this little guy–his great-grandson!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=409471489133877&set=vb.100002130892797&type=3&theater

I see a little of Dad in him…Just enough to lemme know that that boy has the Irish in him!  I think his hair is going to be like Dad’s too, but it’s too early to tell…

Anyway, if my dad is out there somewhere with his arms folded across his chest wondering what the heck is going on around here, I just wanna say this:  “Happy Birthday, Dad! You can put your halo back on now. I remembered!”

😉