You may be breathing, but you are dead to me. Every lie that you sold makes me very afraid to open my heart, even though it is closed to you for good. I worked my way through the muck and lies and got to the point to where I am somewhat content with my life, yet your ghost seems to be talking through some of the people I meet. I hear the hooks you threw out when asked certain questions. I can now see that like you, some of them are looking for an arrangement. I don’t play that game anymore. I really don’t need to be in a “relationship” to validate who the hell I am. I don’t need a “security blanket” either.
As a result, life is good. I rose from the ashes to discover my own way of expression. As the blood runs hot in my veins and through to my pen, I have also found that I need nothing–not money–not power–nothing. It all goes back to one song by Duran Duran. “…Freedom puts my faith in none of the above…”
Have a nice life. I truly hope that you are blessed. I know that I am truly blessed now that you are only a dark page in a dark chapter of my personal History. Right now I am content to stay on the page I am on. It is blank and waiting for me to fill it. It will be filled–on my own terms and in my own way. Goodbye to you…
With that, I close with this…I’d love to re-make this with an all female band–speeding up the rhythm and totally rocking this song out to the max! This song just totally kicks ass. There is also much truth in it, whereas I have yet to discover the truth in your lies…That being said, I am changing the phone number. I don’t want to hear any more from our “mutual” friends who are also looking for an arrangement now that they know that I have kicked your ass to the curb. That makes them pretty low on my priority list if you ask me. After all, if they were YOUR friends, they wouldn’t be trying to put the make on me knowing my sentiment on the matter, right? Then again, the fact that they are YOUR friends only tells me that it doesn’t speak much to their character…Sorry but it’s true.
This is sort of like a divorce–only you can have the friends and line of work we were in. I want no part of it ever again. I want no part of you either. Why? I had to lose myself in order to find myself again. Once I did that, I realized that I didn’t need you and I certainly don’t need to “fit in” anywhere any longer. I call my shots and I admit my mistakes. There is freedom in that also–but you will never know it because your whole life has always been nothing but one lie after another.
I have a whole new attitude. For once it is MY life–and I’ll do whatever I damned well please with it. I know that just kills you since you’ve got some of your friends “spying” on me again.
I originally wrote this in 201o.