***Snickers***
BELIEVE ME these will never happen!
“50 First Dates: 10 years and 4 kids later”.
“The Waterboy II: Mama Moves Back In”
“Fast Times at Ridgemont High: 40 Year Reunion”
“How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days and Still get Palimony”
“The Breakfast Club: Bender Goes to Washington”
“Beverly Hills Cop: Retired My Ass!”
“The Wedding Singer: Out of Tune”
“The Goonies: Where’s the Cave?”
“Charlie’s Angels: Contracted Out”
“Ferris Buehler’s Day Off: Again?”
This is a post unlike any I have ever done, but I think it took someone else to describe what it is I tend to look for…Deeds…Not personalities…Actions do speak louder than words, don’t they? We spend most of our youth being programmed into what others want us to be, but when do we become ourselves?
I learned early on that life for me was one cage evolving into another. I spent most of my life watching shows and movies looking for heroes to save me from the hell I called my life from the time I was a child. Then I came to a harsh realization. No hero was coming. No one was hearing me crying from the time I was 11 to the time I was grown–except me, a mouse named Brutus (at one point) and the air.
Until anyone can tell me what it is like to be so scared to leave one’s own room that they crouch over a hole in the floor to piss under the house rather than risk sneaking to the bathroom, then nobody can tell me what fear really is. I learned early on what it is, but I never learned how to do anything but to mentally escape from those awful memories.
One of the movies I love the most now is called “The Shawshank Redemption“. When I watched that, it was the day I realized I had escaped and I felt very empowered by the fact.
When I watch movies, I look for things that CAN play out in life. Because I knew there were no heroes, I hated the Marvel comics and such my brother loved. I hated cartoons like Johnny Quest and such because, again, they weren’t real. It was the musicians that caught my attention then. Many sang about things I wanted to feel. If there was anything I wanted to feel it was to feel loved for the person I was inside….
Most of those same cartoons depicted good winning over evil, but in my home it seemed that it was the evil winning. It was eating at the heart of my family like a cancer. I endured a lot and survived. I truly did live in a war zone. Any step I took could result in all hell being unleashed.
As a result I grew weary of Hollywood and all the fake heroes being put out–but I still had a thing for “Fast Times at Ridgmont High” and (as I have discussed before) “The Breakfast Club“. I can also assure you that the tale of each kid in that latter movie in some way mimicked my life–except for Claire’s. I related most to Ally Sheedy‘s character who (she says) was ignored. Nobody really knows what went through her head…
However by then, for the most part I stopped spending money on movie tickets because I realized that much of what was coming out was hype more than substance. The one movie I SHOULD have went to see was “Chariots of Fire”. At least the two main characters were real and did exist. Ian Charleson and Ben Cross brought the two men to life for me in that film when I finally saw it a few years ago. In hindsight, not many will dispute the idea that Ben Cross should have gotten an Oscar (or at least the nod) for how he brought Abrahams to life in that movie, but for whatever reason, that did not happen for him.
He played a bigger role a few years before that and very few people took note of this during an interview he did–but they damned well should have. The man stood up for what he felt was right and that, in my book is more worthy of being book material and/or put on celluloid than this bloody trash Hollywood keeps throwing at us as of late…Ben put himself on the line and could have ended up in a Russian prison for it years ago. I hope he writes that story soon. That is the type of story we need out there…Not this Depp/Burton “Dark Shadows” fiasco or the “Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” crap!
If you’re interested in knowing what the hell I am talking about, I will refer you to an interview he did in 1982–the year my son Eric was born. Had I read this interview then, the man’s picture would have been right up on my wall next to John Lennon’s for having the guts to stand up for what he believed was right in a time when the political turmoil was immense. That is a person worth looking up to. Too bad I never knew about this until YESTERDAY because to me, THIS is what heroes are really made of. If actions do indeed speak louder than words, then the words he spoke in this interview should have resulted in his actions screaming at an entire generation or two.
I remember going to NYC in 1981 and seeing Russian subs off of the coast so I know if I had seen this, I’d have done a double take!
Mr. Cross, you can be as humble as you want to be, but this is one story that does need to be shared. I am glad the interview was still available…
Here is the link:
http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20081839,00.html
I know the action he took to help a Russian couple trying to leave Communist Russia (which was a prison cage in itself) screamed at me quite loudly–and while he has such a knack for bringing these characters he plays to life, it is this time that should be shared with the world because there is a message in it worth hearing and seeing–and it is real.
Sometimes it takes conscience and a bit of unbridled individualism to do the right thing. He certainly did so, and for that he has my utmost respect. Right now he plays a villain called “Mr. Rabbit” on the Cinemax show, “Banshee” and he is doing an excellent job. I hope this opens many doors for him to come, as he certainly deserves that after all these years.
Yeah…I’m talking about the same guy who played Harold Abrahams in “Chariots of Fire”! This guy is probably one of the bravest people I have NEVER met!
And here is a link to a performance the Galina and Valery Panov did after their defection…They were so marvelous! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMMbdG6eB-8
One of the most horrible things about living in our world is that we are slaves to a bloody clock. Our days are divided up into segments of 24 hours rather than from sunrise to sundown. If I ever have my way, my day will go back to the natural way it was meant to be. To be honest, I am mainly tired and ill in bed with the flu as I type this, but I still will type away.
However I am grateful for all of this because it gives me so much time to reflect. It gives me time to sit back and just BREATHE. I love life. I love the opportunities that are opening up for me–and they are there. I see them on the dream board I’ve been building onto and adding to for over a year. Time, reflections and travel are recurring themes on it and I know it will come to pass.
I constantly think outside the box. I’ve never had the opportunity to really study the arts which I find to be fascinating, but I did have the opportunity to read many books, which breathe life into many a subject–if they are able to keep my interest longer than some of the people I have met. Because of a lot of drama and trauma, I was the reclusive creature in my younger years. I was a lot like Ally Sheedy‘s character in “The Breakfast Club” too–minus the stealing. I couldn’t draw like she could–but I could write. That was my escape from the cruel world in which I lived. I find that this fan made video featuring the character of Allison Reynolds was perfect:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lPbfshzJ9g&feature=related
To me that was the character, that in real-life, who was probably the most misunderstood and (most likely) misguided among them all. No one knew what went on in her head until she acted on it. She didn’t share much until later. No one knew what pain she went through outside of the school-house walls. I wonder where she would be in a class reunion today? I know where I am–usually…Notably absent and with reason.
This is what Allison and I needed to hear when we were younger…Maybe one day if she hasn’t already–we will hear this from SOMEONE:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1bcQMCZ5gU
I dreamed of one day having the courage to even get in front of people again, which I now have.
“…I am I myself alone…I realize I never need to use no one–money, power, holy roads…Freedom puts my faith in none of the above…”–Duran Duran (From ‘None of the Above‘)…
I can so relate to that song. You can hear it in its entirety here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ezrtGrpvSk
I lived that song and I really would like to cover it with an all female band…Growing up in the south has been confining in some ways, but very free in others. Now before all my Baptist relatives and friends start sending me e-mails, I will say this. All that song says to me is that we are all responsible for our own paths in life and we have to choose those for ourselves. Many of us were brought up to be pleasing and accommodating, when in reality, it is that nature in some of us that made us so weak that we reach a breaking point. We have to walk away in order to find our own answers at times–and it has nothing to do with whether we believe in a creator as much as it has to do with the fact that every person’s steps have to be directed from within.
It is when we follow our consciences that we often come up against stiff opposition from our families and communities and we are forced to conform and be accepted or go our own way and face their anger at their loss of influence over our everyday lives. They learn to deal with it, just as we learn to deal with the fact that some will never accept us as we are as individuals.
My dad used to really get angry if I failed to call him at least once or twice a month. One time he actually called the sheriff of the county I live in thinking that I went missing. I love him to this day for that. I also miss him terribly, even though there were times he really got upset because he couldn’t influence certain decisions of mine–including who to vote for. You see, if you don’t vote the way the family thinks you should vote, they think you come close to being a candidate for a frontal lobotomy for the simple fact that you break family traditions–at least it seems that way sometimes!
What blew his mind is when I actually would show him how people he supported actually voted on the issues. After that, he never voted a straight party ticket either–at least I do not think he did. It was also after that day he finally accepted the fact that I march to my drum and he didn’t have to worry over it.
As I was growing up, women were still being raised to be home-makers…Well, I didn’t exactly fit the mold. I worked and raised my kids. Sometimes it involved having 2-3 jobs. Again, my life was ran by a clock. People would say “budget your time”…I’d say, “You are so full of it. I work 2 jobs, attend college and am raising kids. I only have an allotment of 8 hours to budget for sleep–and that is if one of my kids isn’t sick!”
After some of my “friends” had kids of their own, they figured out what I meant. I wouldn’t trade those days for anything. They molded me into who I am today. When I am home sick, my boys get me chicken soup and Gatorade! Gatorade! The fix all for everyone’s ailments and/or injuries (according to them)! I think they got that off of Beavis and Butthead to be honest…Want proof? Here it is! Here is a clip from the “Dog Bite” episode!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60GCIZqoVfw
Well, anyway, just because they are grown now, doesn’t mean that things change. They still need Mom from time to time and it makes her feel pretty good–even though they don’t know it! I keep it to myself a lot. When they get sick, I tend to look in on them, but God Forbid that I actually get them medicine! They refuse to take it for some reason–unless it’s REALLY serious enough to have antibiotics for. Maybe more of that Comanche blood is in them than I thought!
Well, anyway, life is good…I am happy and I love my boys–as well as my unborn grand child…
I’ll know whether to buy for a boy or girl on the 28th and I’ll spill the beans for sure! Take care and have a great weekend! I only hope that all the other Allison’s in the world find this sense of peace…
The Haunted Pen 