How to Do Halloween for Grown-Ups When You’re Broke as Hell!

Okay…It’s the night before trick or treat…You’re between paydays and a lot of you love using October 31st as a way to let off steam once a year, act totally stupid and still have good reason for it. Before anyone asks, NO I’m not going to do Halloween. I’ve been sick with bronchitis so I’ll leave the festivities to the lot of you. It will be much more comical if I do. It’s more fun to watch the adults get drunk and act totally juvenile than it is to take part when with my luck, the weather will totally suck and make my bronchitis worse.

Now remember…EVEN if you’re broke as hell, this will work but you need 3-4 essential ingredients.

1. A sheet.  Doesn’t matter what color. You can use teal, purple, white, whatever…It’ll work.

2. Paper towel rolls–and if your ass is flat broke, ask your relatives for theirs! Tell ’em it’s for a kid’s project. That way you’re off the hook–unless you get arrested for the  OTHER variation of the costume if there is a wardrobe malfunction.

3.  A wire or ring of yarn big enough to fit around (NOT OVER) you’re head. You’re not going as a KKK grand wizard or a fake lynching victim! If you do it and you get your ass kicked and it ends up in the papers, I will laugh my head off at you!

4. A pair of flip-flops or sandals.

Two variations that are optional:  Construction paper and/or a guitar.

Now if you’re using a teal or green sheet–use the paper towel rolls and that ring to make a statue of liberty costume. Use your imagination and the construction paper for the torch.

If you use white, you can claim to be Julius Caesar carrying a scroll (only requires one roll)–or you can carry a guitar and  pretend you’re going to smash it, in which case you dressed as John Blutarsky…IF you don’t know who the hell that is, watch “Animal House”. Most from the era will never forget that show.

If female, the Statue of Liberty one would work–just use two sheets in case it’s cold as hell.

For a purple sheet, use gold paint and paint the leaves on the ring gold…Put some fake vampire blood on your hands and tell ’em you are “Pontius Pilate”.

Whatever you do, don’t go as Jesus. He wouldn’t do that. Besides, the cops might mistake you for an escaped mental patient. In fact if you decide not to celebrate it at all, then you’re not as insane as some of us are that allow the kid in us to come out once a year.  I once dressed up in a potato sack dress as a barefoot and pregnant bride. I had the straw hat, veil, etc..AND the blacked-out tooth. However it’s more expensive and time-consuming to sew the bloody things together. I paid a friend to do that.

Like I said earlier…THIS is what you do if you’re an adult wanting to play crazy tomorrow night and you’re broke as hell!

Happy Halloween!

This Has GOT To STOP! How Can Anyone Do This Crap?!

Usually I can look at something and keep my cool, but when I hear about child pornography rings and animal cruelty–those are two hot button subjects that IMMEDIATELY pull my trigger and set me off!

Please sign this petition:  http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/863/365/434/?cid=FB_TAF

This is one sick individual who should never see light outside of a jail cell for her many acts of cruelty against defenseless animals and she has the gall to call this shit “art”?!  Hello! What the hell kind of crack was the judge smoking to let this slide being that in TEXAS this shit IS illegal?

People, these are the sick individuals that graduate to SERIAL KILLING!  Read about Charles Eng, Ted Bundy, Ed Gein, Wayne Gacy and countless others. They started with puppies, kittens, and other defenseless animals.  THIS HAS GOT TO STOP in America. We should NEVER, EVER tolerate this under the guise of “art” or any other bullshit they try to use to make their sickening behavior more “justifiable” to the public.

I am not kidding when I stress that people who are this sick are in the same league as child pornographers.  NONE of them should ever be out among society.  Neither we, our children, our grandchildren,  and/or our pets are safe with sick people like this on the loose!

I have an immense love for animals.  I’ve had dogs, cats, gerbils, hamsters and such from the time I was a kid. I even once had a white mouse named “Brutus”.  I cannot even bring myself to apologize for the heated anger or vernacular in this post because I am so worked up right now.. Let’s get together with others who can help us stop this crap dead in its tracks, please! Thank you.

 

April 9, 1929

Kenneth B. O'Neill USAF Msgt. (Ret-1972)  1929-1995

Kenneth B. O’Neill USAF Msgt. (Ret-1972) 1929-1995

 

On this day in 1929, my father was born.  I heard the story about how hard times were–to the point where my grandpa often stole chickens and such to keep the family fed.  They picked cotton. They worked the fields and they were very creative.  My grandmother, Mary E. O’Neill played an organ, Dad could write and Uncle Jackie could also–in fact, my uncle had a photographic memory!  He could read a book and remember it almost word for word, page number and chapter of what he wanted to tell us about.  In short, Uncle Jackie was a genius!

I”ll share some of the funny stuff at some point but for now, I’m just going to sit back and remember some of the fun things–like when we all went camping at Ringling Lake in Eastland, TX.

He’s been gone since 1995, but I think of him every year. I’m a little late tonight, but I was always late for everything when I was young–except school and work.  I drove my dad nuts if I didn’t call when I was supposed to, but today I wish I could call him…I miss him more than anyone can comprehend, but if I could call him, I’d introduce him to this little guy–his great-grandson!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=409471489133877&set=vb.100002130892797&type=3&theater

I see a little of Dad in him…Just enough to lemme know that that boy has the Irish in him!  I think his hair is going to be like Dad’s too, but it’s too early to tell…

Anyway, if my dad is out there somewhere with his arms folded across his chest wondering what the heck is going on around here, I just wanna say this:  “Happy Birthday, Dad! You can put your halo back on now. I remembered!”

😉

 

 

Where has all the Music Gone?

 

No…Video did not kill the radio star…The DJ’s stopped playing the music that really matters.  In fact, reality TV killed all of it–as did all the electronic “fixes” for everything…Where are the real bands that have the skills to play real instruments?  All of the electronic inventions and such since the 1980’s have hurt music–not helped it.  Fewer people are learning how to play instruments and of those that do, where are they going to work if they decide they want to be a musician?  A friend of mine who has 30+ years experience asked me that question.

I’d rather hear a real band over the electronic synthesized fill in versions any day of the week.  I like jazz and blues festivals because I get to hear a lot of live music–without all the gadgets…I also listen to SOME country music–not all.  And I still love rock and metal. I just won’t drive to a lot of it…Too many tickets! LOL!  I heard this one day and said, “My god…He’s got a real band backing him!”  My faith in the music world is restored but only to a point.  We need more real bands regardless of the genre.  No amount of electronic alteration can duplicate the sound of a live band…It’s that simple…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv11VWnEv4I&feature=relmfu

And yes…This guy, Ben Cross,  does do the genre justice… 😉

Ironically, even with the advent of the 80’s scene, I like a lot of that music too–and some of it was a bit loaded with the synthesized sound…When I cover those, I don’t want that sound. It’s better to have it the way it was meant to be.  The 90’s brought SOME improvement but not much…It seems to now have reverted a bit again. At least it does to me.   That being said, this is an 80’s song that totally kicks ass and can be covered by a female if done correctly…This girl is on it now–and is going to be getting a vocal coach after all these years. Got lots of lost time to make up for–or die trying!  Have a great weekend!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yf_Lwe6p-Cg

My high school sweetheart put this on the net the other day so I’m sharing it. It was taken in 1980…My first thought was, “Holy crap! We actually wore that back then?!” Either way, it’s a year I am glad I would NEVER relive…’81 was better…In fact, I would NOT want to relive my youth. My life is better now than it has ever been and I don’t look back much–until someone sends a reminder…Then I look quickly and close that book again.

And just for the record, I don’t think the music has gone so much as I think it’s being covered up by reality TV, which is why MTV sucks and VH1 blows monkey chunks.  It’s time to quit glorifying people’s private lives and get back to airing the real music already!

 

Anyone Up for a Little Bytch?

Yes…You read it correctly…I want to get my all female band going.  Here are my requirements…All members must be over 35, have been divorced at LEAST once and really don’t give a crap what other people think because they spent too much of their lives worrying over it.  They must also be comfortable with being called bytches because that will be part of our band name.  If members do have kids, the kids must think their moms are “cool” for this or they will be allowed to force said children  into servitude as our roadies–and believe me, my boys do not want to have to make a middle of the night M&M run to the store! Damned straight!

“Bytch Cassidy!”  Has a nice ring to it, I think…

Ground rules for the first album…Each song has to have the word “bitch” or a derivative of it somewhere.  The only exception will be our cover of “None of the Above” and possibly 1 more cover song.

WE must use the cartoon I drew years ago which depicted an interesting political climate in the 1970’s.  I drew it in 8th grade.  We draw straws for the art on the back cover.

General rules:  Don’t leave the toilet seat up.  Do pick up after yourself and don’t leave money on the bus! It can get ripped off!

Needed:  bass player, drummer, lead guitarist and a possible 2nd guitarist.  If you are good at reading/writing the music, that’s even better.

Management…What the hell?  Deal with that when we get to that point…

Aside from that there is a song right off the top of my head I refuse to do and that is “Fancy”.  I hate that song.  I see nothing so great about pimping out one’s own kid no matter how bad things get. Sorry.

Anyway, there is my take on it…All members must have  a good sense of humor and some dry wit working for them.   A little laughter goes a long way.   Now here’s a clip of that famous, kick ass song I’d love to cover:

None of the Above–Again…This is one of the best songs Duran Duran ever did…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BP4GQPbn4Aw

Now girls! Any takers?

 

 

 

 

Rainbow Dream…

It eludes me, yet I pursue it.  I pursue it for the same reason the 3 wise men followed the Star of Bethlehem–according to what I was taught.  The rainbow I am pursuing has riches, but not gold.  It has many colors, but not all are visible.  All I know is I see it each time I close my weary eyes and know that it is getting closer to me.  I saw you in that rainbow yesterday.  You motioned for me to keep coming toward you, but  I wasn’t fast enough to reach you.

Yet I feel you as though you are bringing it to me.  Who are you that you keep telling me that my destiny lies with you and to keep trying?You keep telling me to have faith in myself and believe that I have received, but yet where is it?  What do you mean I already have this?  I do not understand and you still bid me to follow.  All I know is this:  You’re too congenial and peaceful to be perceived as a leprechaun.  You aren’t a wizard or a spirit trying to haunt me…So what are you?

When you are near, I feel peace.  I feel loved–but when I wake up, the real world is there for me with its cruel devices.  I protect my loved ones from this as much as possible.  And what is with the paint you are leading?  He’s a beautiful horse yet you never ride him. I don’t understand…He has a gentle disposition.   Both of you are wrapped in the colors of that rainbow–and when I reach for you both, you are too quick for me.  Please explain to me what this is to me?

I ask this again and you give me three words: “You are loved.”   Then it seems to be alright.  I think I know what this is now…I am dancing in a rainbow toward my destiny.  Somewhere you are out there waiting for me.  Fine…I will be there.  Eventually my speed will match yours and then I will be there beside you.

So now you are dead to me…

You may be breathing, but you are dead to me.  Every lie that you sold makes me very afraid to open my heart, even though it is closed to you for good.  I worked my way through the muck and lies and got to the point to where I am somewhat content with my life, yet your ghost seems to be talking through some of the people I meet.  I hear the hooks you threw out when asked certain questions.  I can now see that like you, some of them are looking for an arrangement.  I don’t play that game anymore.  I really don’t need to be in a “relationship” to validate who the hell I am.  I don’t need a “security blanket” either.

As a result, life is good.  I rose from the ashes to discover my own way of expression.  As the blood runs hot in my veins and through to my pen, I have also found that I need nothing–not money–not power–nothing.  It all goes back to one song by Duran Duran.  “…Freedom puts my faith in none of the above…”

Have a nice life.  I truly hope that you are blessed.  I know that I am truly blessed now that you are only a dark page in a dark chapter of my personal History.  Right now I am content to stay on the page I am on.  It is blank and waiting for me to fill it. It will be filled–on my own terms and in my own way.  Goodbye to you…

With that, I close with this…I’d love to re-make this with an all female band–speeding up the rhythm and totally rocking this song out to the max!  This song just totally kicks ass.  There is also much truth in it, whereas I have yet to discover the truth in your lies…That being said, I am changing the phone number.  I don’t want to hear any more from our “mutual” friends who are also looking for an arrangement now that they know that I have kicked your ass to the curb.   That makes them pretty low on my priority list if you ask me.  After all, if they were YOUR friends, they wouldn’t be trying to put the make on me  knowing my sentiment on the matter, right?  Then again, the fact that they are YOUR friends only tells me that it doesn’t speak much to their character…Sorry but it’s true.

This is sort of like a divorce–only you can have the friends and line of work we were in. I want no part of it ever again.  I want no part of you either. Why? I had to lose myself in order to find myself again.  Once I did that, I realized that I didn’t need you and I certainly don’t need to “fit in” anywhere any longer. I call my shots and I admit my mistakes.  There is freedom in that also–but you will never know it because your whole life has always been nothing but one lie after another.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BP4GQPbn4Aw

 

I have a whole new attitude. For once it is MY life–and I’ll do whatever I damned well please with it.  I know that just kills you since you’ve got some of your friends “spying” on me again.

I originally wrote this in 201o.