My Thoughts On Relationships and What I Tend to Avoid

Note: The post below is simply my opinion of the matter. I am very leery of who I get involved with, especially when they get too much into the “flattery” bit. I don’t know about the rest of you, but give me an honest guy I can bullshit with at the club any day of the week.  At least I know that even when we get pissed at each other we can still remain friends, even if I am never going get into a committed relationship if I can see it would ruin the friendship.

Maybe I am just strange but I never understood why some people feel the need to wrap their entire identity up in another person. I’ve been divorced for 19 years. I’m a bit gun-shy of anyone who tries to make out like I am their “possession” after only dating a few months. I bolt! I rather enjoy my independence. I think the biggest mistake young women make is they look for a prince when there is no prince. After the novelty of a relationship wears off, that is when the younger women get very disappointed, disillusioned and brought down to reality. They discover that relationships take work.

However when women look for a lasting relationship while a man is looking for an “arrangement” that suits him, that is where problems come in. Eventually they part ways and I’ve seen this too many times. Sometimes it’s the other way around and some of the women look to combine resources and such, while the guys are actually looking for something real and lasting that goes beyond the material. Neither type of relationship tends to last and I’ve seen too many of my friends end up miserable after seven years or so in such a farce. No, these people are not “gold diggers” either. They just have different ideas of what constructs a relationship and when two people get together who aren’t like-minded and there isn’t good communication, that is a relationship doomed to fail from day one.

I can tell quickly where I stand with someone now. I can tell when it will not work by listening closely to what he’s saying. If younger women (and men) could gain that skill without having to go through the motions first, there might be less heartache involved in the break-up. As far as being a woman, I was better off the day I realized there are no princes, and it takes more than a crown to make a true prince…Think about it.

This holds true for the guys who tend to hook up with “princess” types too–the girls who want all to revolve around THEM. Guys, those are the girls you need to avoid…Period. If they don’t have a life outside of YOU there is a problem… And  women need to realize, there are guys like this too. .Just to give you an idea of what I’m talking about there when it comes to the “princess” type–Betty Broderick was one of those. She is an extreme example but the “princess” type will keep calling you and harassing you and your new girlfriend long after you break up with her. She’ll also back stab you when you tell her to knock it off and she will covertly try to make you look like the bad guy to others–and will work deceitfully and covertly to get others in your own circle to turn on you. I don’t know WHY it is but sometimes, and in some ways,  it is easier to spot the male doing this than the female.  Maybe it is because the female tends to be more subtle about it.

Granted, Broderick is an extreme example, but guys who have dealt with that type KNOW what I mean. They manipulate and cannot let go of the guy when he leaves. They are like “Hilly” in the movie “The Help”–where she treats her ex’s wife like crap and gets her ostracized in the community out of extreme jealousy, and she also tries to control others in her peer group. Guys, there is a way to spot those types. When they always say what you WANT to hear vs. what you NEED to hear to get you hooked, be careful. Some things are too good to be true. A good woman will start off  by being that friend who tells you what she really thinks–even if there are times it really ticks you off at first, but at least she’s being HONEST and that is what counts. And don’t pout if she is right either!  If she’s being honest with you, then she RESPECTS you as a person and cares about the person you are and NOT what you have to offer.  The same holds true for women out there who are addicted to those “sweet nothings” that they hear a lot. They need to ditch people who are into that bit.  That road leads quickly to misery. Sweet nothings are only bait used to hook the fish…

Chew on that for a while…There is a big difference in what some say vs. what they REALLY mean. That is another thing to watch for!

Ladies (and Guys), If You Want to Rid Yourself of a Would-Be Suitor… *Snickers Profusely Here*

Alright this was inspired by a friend I went to school with…I’m not giving her name or anything but I have been in this situation myself so I’ve decided to share some things to get rid of that persistent “would be suitor” who wants to take you out but you have NO interest in him or her.   These can easily be adapted for men’s use against persistent females, but just change a few names up…

For example when a guy says to you in a theater where there are plenty of seats available but he comes up to you and asks, “Is this seat taken?”  You already KNOW what time it is–especially if he tries to introduce himself and shake your hand.  All you have to do is grow a pair and say, “No and this one is about to be available as well.”

If he’s one of the overly persistent pain-in-the-ass types, just say, “No and this one won’t be either when you sit down.” OUCH!

Guys, just act like your cell phone is ringing and your wife is calling–or better yet–pretend you have a boyfriend.  Cools the persistent stalker girls like the church lady in Six Feet Under really quick. If you’ve never seen it, you need to get someone to show you the church scene where Michael has to tell her to get lost!  Why? I can’t find the damned clip of it but if someone else wants to share it, feel free!

Now for the next scenario. A guy comes up to you, introduces himself and starts really pushing himself to get a dinner date with you, making you feel really uncomfortable.

For the women you only have to say one thing, “Sure but I think you should know that I am Betty Broderick‘s half-sister or I’m Aileen Wournos’s lost daughter.”  That should make you a real hit if they bother you at work too!

If he says “Who?”, just say, “You might want to Google that.”

Men, just say, “I’m Charlie Manson‘s (or Ted Bundy‘s–insert your favorite serial killer’s name here) bastard son.  Are you sure you wanna hang around me?”  Make sure you get that “Michael C. Hall from “Dexter” look about you too when you say that–IF the lady keeps stalking…

*Now I am going to go have my cup of Mexican Hot Chocolate and laugh profusely at the absurdity of life!* LOL

After all if life is a joke, are we not waiting on the punchline?

Oh and if you’re wondering about that “Dexter Look”–here…This is probably his funniest kill scene too. Watch this clip (and it has adult language in it so don’t let the kiddies see you watch it! ) :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8taUxqSRsDg

Funny how I’m giving advice on how to get rid of a prospective date in less than 10 minutes…