The Light Bulb in My Head Came On Today. That’s RARE on Mondays!

All of my life, I have been through various bouts of junk.  Now that I am 50, this has been one of my roughest years (physically) yet one of my most enjoyable.  Aside from the female issues that are also getting brought under control with medication, I am cancer free and my pernicious anemia is now “managed” to the point where I don’t feel so much of that crushing fatigue.  I still get light-headed from time to time but I simply slow down.

I realized today that some people really would like to go back to “yesteryear” and repeat their lives at various points, hoping to avoid making the same mistakes again and again.  With me, this is NOT the case.  I would never want to go back and redo any part of my life.   I think the life I have right now, despite having to write and “broadcast” from the TTRV, my life is full! I am enjoying it. Despite some family concerns, I know things are going to turn around.  I don’t know HOW I know it, but I do.

That being said, all I really need is one thing and that is “NOW”.  Think about that. IF we can’t change the past or alter the future, why the hell do we lose sleep over either?  Seriously people!  Yes it’s Monday, but I hope you all have a great day ahead!  Normally I dread Mondays but I am off today!

Within two weeks, I look forward to working toward my goals again–dropping the weight and getting back into shape!  I haven’t had a transfusion since July too!   Again, have a GREAT day!

 

Good News…

The biopsy was normal. No cancer.  I still don’t know why I kept hemorrhaging. I’m on medication now–progesterone. I will know after my doctor’s appointment today what is going to be done about this freaking huge cyst on my right ovary.  I still strongly urge anyone who is advised to have the biopsy to simply do it.

I had already discussed with my family what course I would take if cancer was involved. Surgery yes–chemotherapy no.  I know people who died more quickly from the chemotherapy than the disease itself–but it is not the rate toward the demise that made me say no–it was their suffering.  Besides, I prefer to let nature take it’s course.   I feel that radiation therapy is like “fighting fire with fire”–and in the case of this, had it come to fruition, it makes no sense to me.

I told my sons if I’m meant to live I’ll live. If meant to die, then chemo or radiation won’t change the outcome anyway.  That is just my view. Realistically, it isn’t that I have a death wish. I just feel that such invasive and painful treatments would be more of a burden to my family.

Now that I got that out in the open, I will update you when I get finished at the doctor’s office tomorrow. I am looking forward to two days with my grandson soon.  Life is good, no matter what hand I am dealt. I always manage and that is what counts.

 

Thoughts on the Tests…

I went to the doctor recently and had more tests ran–namely a pap smear and an Endometrial biopsy.  My sister had prepared me for the worst…I was quite prepared to go through an excruciating amount of pain, invent some new vernacular along the way and possibly come up flying off of the table fists swinging.

To understand my anxiety about this, watch this video…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmsRqr1rugU

I will say at this point, it was not as bad as it was made out to be but the speculum felt hot! They apologized for that. To be honest, all I felt was some pressure and that was IT.  I did feel some cramping afterward and my ibuprofen took care of that. That could be because of the fact my uterus is probably so inflamed, that wouldn’t make much difference.

I am now waiting for test results.  Guys, if your partner is avoiding having this done, get her to do it regardless.  It might save her life.  This is done a lot of the time to rule out cancers and such and it is not half as bad as she is thinking it will be.  All in all, it took about 5-10  minutes tops from prep to finish.

I’ll let you all know what the results show when I get them. Have a great evening!