The Third Time Around…***Childbirth Au Naturale***

Look…I am all for natural childbirth and such, but I am not about to put up with a bitchy nurse or CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife) that thinks he or she is equal to a doctor.  Here is why.

On November 28, 1988, I went into labor with my 3rd son–Kevin.  My water broke.  After my husband came in, we went to the hospital.  First strike against “Nurse Ballbreaker”:  “Yes your water really broke.  Why didn’t you come in earlier?”

My response: “Get the doctor to ask me that.”

Hours go by after I was admitted.  I’m supposed to get the birthing room.  No way…Nurse Ballbreaker said that they didn’t have time to make it up after the Captain’s wife used it, but they had 8 hours to take turns hanging out at the nurse’s station gossiping between rounds.  I know this because a volunteer WAC told me about it.  By the way, this was at the Evans Army Community Hospital at Ft. Carson, CO.  If you are in the military, you’re better off giving birth in the barn rather than that place.  The  walls were some shade of OD green–which I detest as well.  The nurses were out of some type of time warp or something because they mostly wore all-white.  That was irritating as well.  Now they wear different colored smocks and such which is much easier on the mental state…They aren’t as intimidating.

Then I asked for the anesthesiologist–for HOURS.  “Well he’s tired and he’s been up all night. We can’t be calling him.” –per Nurse Ballbreaker.

Then the last straw came.  I knew Kevin was coming.  I was about to push.  She came in the room and instead of checking me she said, “Look , we can’t check you every time you feel like you want to push so you just need to breathe and deal with it!” she yelled.

My ex instinctively backed away from my bed.  “Look Bitch!,” I yelled, “Having a kid is like riding a f***ing bicycle! Once you’ve done it you don’t forget how so I suggest you get the mother f***ing doctor now!”

A female colonel entered my room almost immediately and asked, “Mrs. Thomas, what is going on?”  Nurse Ballbreaker tried to butt in but the colonel told her to be quiet.  She then put on a glove and checked me herself.  She looked at Nurse Ballbreaker and said, “She’s dilated and this baby is about to crown. Why the hell isn’t she on the delivery table, Nurse?!”

I swear to God that Nurse Ballbreaker was reduced to sounding like Porky Pig when she said, “Well we thought–”

“We’ll talk later.” the doctor said.  The doctor made her leave the area and got another nurse.  This nurse was very nice.  She told me not to push until I was told to and walked with me through the breathing bit.  I think my ex was traumatized by the encounter with Nurse Ballbreaker so he just held my hand.  The doctor was NOT happy with where Nurse Ballbreaker inserted my I. V. either.  She said once Kevin was born and after four hours, they’d remove it and not restart it.

In between contractions, I was put on a gurney.  They wheeled me down the hall.  I felt the boy coming alright…Ballbreaker didn’t even get me a local!  We got next to the delivery table, the doctor raised the sheet just in time to put her hands out to catch Kevin–and he came in kicking, screaming and raising hell, too!  She looked at me and I said, “Tell that bitch nurse I said “I told you so, will you?” and the doctor smiled and said, “She won’t be bothering anyone on my ward again.”

The next night a WAC (volunteer retired Army Nurse) came into my room and kept giggling. I asked her what was up.  She smiled, “Mrs. Thomas, that nurse you chewed out last night is in the geriatric ward now.  That colonel chewed her ass up one end of the ward and down the other after she had to deal with that delivery.  They didn’t have time to do an incision to keep you from tearing because of her.”

“Well the bitch is lucky I didn’t tear anywhere but down the old scar about a half an inch.  I’d have her ass right now.” I told her.

That WAC and said, “Yeah…When the colonel finished with her, the director got her again.”

Well, I can say this much, I have truly experienced natural childbirth but I humbly apologize to all the taxpayers now if they footed a bill for a birthing room and for anesthesia that was never even utilized in 1988!  I used to ditch lab slips for tests I knew I didn’t need–like that damned Rh Titer one  when both my ex and I were Rh+.  They didn’t like that either, but I don’t think taxpayers should be paying for unnecessary shit and will not deal with that.  Have a great week!  😀  Oh, by the way, he was born AFTER midnight so he was born ON November 29, 1988…

Peace Beyond the Cage–and Thank God It’s FRIDAY!!!

“Peace is not the absence of conflict.  It comes from the ability to cope with that conflict.”–From “The Wind is  My Mother” by Bear Heart

I don’t understand how it can be that some people seem to have this “shiny-happy-people” existence while others seem to muddle through life via one cage after another–some of them of others’ making and some of them of their own making.  

If I take a good look at Bear Heart’s comment above, it makes me come to one of those “apocalyptic epiphanies” that nobody has the “shiny-happy-people” life unless they are on some serious anti-depression medication or are just pretty damned lucky.  Then you’ve got people (like yours truly) who have somewhat of a mixture–kicking down the bars to each cell I get thrown into one bar at a time.

Every moment of my life has had conflict in it.  I’ll take it in literary terms here…Most often in my cell (about which I will one day finish writing a novel) I had to endure man vs. man, man vs. self and man vs. environment.  I’ve had to fend off bullies, deal with five stepmothers that I know of–(I stopped keeping track of Dad’s nuptials when I was 18).  I’ve had to deal with arctic blizzards with kids in tow, man vs. society–because there is no such damned thing as “normal” because that word gets redefined every 20 years or so.

It’s bad enough that all results of Historical significance can be boiled down to 4G’s–and I don’t mean money or drugs…I mean THE 4 G’s:  God, Greed, Gold and Gold-Diggers…Stop and think about this for a second…WHY did the Spaniards listen to Dona Maria and kill off whole ethnic groups of people?  Get it yet?  Then under “greed” there is a lust for power.  Hitler and Stalin had it.  Mussolini had it, Chairman Mao had it, Kim Jong Il DOES have it and so does Iran’s leader.

Has anyone on here sat and REALLY read “The Communist Manifesto“?  IF one did, then he/she knows communism can never truly work because Marxism in its PUREST form sounds more like living in a hippie commune.  It looks good on paper but got bastardized by those who wanted to use that writing for their own gain in much the same fashion that the Bible was used in trying to justify “The Crusades“.  However one can easily decipher why pure communism (under Marx’s ideal–which no communist nation follows) will not work:  It is because it is designed around an idea that humanity does not have the inherent traits of greed and lust for power.  As long as anyone remains that could cause conflict over greed and power, it can NEVER truly work for a sustainable time.  It is those at the top of the food chain that will ultimately bring it down. Why?  Because everybody wants to rule the world!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST86JM1RPl0

There is one thing people can do to help bring about peace in our world and it starts by finding inner peace.  How can one be at peace at the world when one is not happy with his/her own life?  It’s simple.  Accept things you have absolutely no control over and look for ways to find a positive in a negative situation.   Let the rest of the world pursue whatever they want of the “4G’s” but be content with what you have.  There are people worse off than we are.  IF you don’t believe that today, then turn on the news channel and look at Japan.

Ultimately we have NO control over tomorrow until it arrives, and we have no control over yesterday so the here and now is what we have to work on.  We need to get rid of some of the things we were programmed into being.  I know of a song called “Ain’t That Unusual” by the Goo Goo Dolls.  One particular line strikes a chord with me:  “…All we are is what we’re told and most of that’s been lies…”   Why would that be true?  It is true when we’ve let other people dictate our lives for us instead of choosing our own way–and in order to be out of that cage, we have to forge our own path in life.  No one can live our lives for us. Trust me…If they could, I’d let them have mine–bad credit rating and all…I’m sure there aren’t many who will disagree with that one either!

A sense of humor is also key.  Many people seem to let themselves be weighed down about circumstances not realizing that most of the minor circumstances that tick us all off are things we should by laughing hysterically about.   Why?  They too shall pass.  Now if one is an intellectual, or a pseudo-intellectual, then this is a song that might just cheer you up a bit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_WRFJwGsbY

After all, I don’t know many people who the Monty Python cast can’t crack up!  And for those who celebrated St. Patrick’s Day in an intellectual light, I am sure that it will make you forget life’s circumstances–at least for a little while.  Anyway today of all days should be one during which we all bust out of the cage for a bit and let our hair down long enough to have a good time–especially since it is Friday!  We can worry about the plight of humanity into oblivion on another day!

And for those of you who will party and partake of the dram tonight, this is what you’ll be singing in the morning!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oUr19aVUCU

Can you tell I watch Star Trek?  LOL!  I hope you had a great St. Patrick’s Day, folks! I just kicked down another bar in the cell! I hope you have a smile on your faces now!  I know I do! I’m going to enjoy another evening out under the moon tonight!  The weather is great, the breeze is warm and I simply cannot wait to get back to my mountain next week!

What a beautiful sight tonight!

Strength in the Darkest of Days, Clint Dunn Speaks…

I have to say that I admire Clint Dunn.  He has faced scrutiny and adversity since the disappearance of his 13-year-old daughter, Hailey and has only come back to show himself to be stronger and more determined to find his child.  He has gone all over the state to make sure people know what she looks like, and he makes sure that they know that there is still an empty place setting at the dinner table, if you know what I mean. 

I cannot begin to imagine what he must be going through, but I do know this:  He will not rest until she is found and the questions are all answered.  Please do not judge him for his past.  It is not of importance to THIS matter.  The fact of the matter is this: 

A child is missing.  She must be found.  The question is “When?”  Once she is found, then we can ask “Why?”  Until then I urge people to keep their focus on this child and keep her face in mind.  One never knows what might happen or what small thing one might see that just might be the key in bringing this child home.  Thank you.  Here is a link to the latest information on this matter.  Clint Dunn states clearly: “I’m the voice for my daughter.” 

http://www.ktxs.com/news/27054473/detail.html

$25,000 Reward for infomration leading to this child's return. Please do not forget!