A Simple Thing to Ask…

“…I have discovered that I am hated for being in the land in which my ancestors were sent to die. That is a sad revelation. Very sad indeed. However this is where I am from and this is the ground upon which I stand. Their blood ran through it and when I die, I will be one with it. To hate the land is to hate my blood. To hate my blood is to spit upon my ancestors. Spitting on one’s ancestors carries a special curse with it, I believe…When this circle completes, this will have been proven many times over, so please don’t profess to love me or be my friend and tell me you hate this land. If you hate the land, you hate the people–and I am one of those people…”(Journal Entry)

I wrote this some time back. I have now come to the realization that no matter what I say or what I do, someone is always going to hate me for it and/or bitch about it. However I block the bullies who try to coerce me into agreement with their stance on anything. Regional bias is another form of extreme hatred that is every bit as much of an ‘–ism” as racism or homophobia.  I come under attack quite often from both sides. For one, I believe abortion will always be legal so the question is, who should pay? Well I say not me since it is elective surgery. I wouldn’t want to pay for anyone to get their boobs made smaller because they were inconvenient pieces of tissue so why would I pay for that? As for gay marriage, let them marry. It’s not our job to do God’s job. Now that this is out-of-the-way, I got a lot of shit because I recently decided to support Ted Cruz.  Why?

MOST know I was living in a 3 BR house prior to September. I relocated to be closer to work, but was hoping to save on rent. However,  it actually increased.  NOW I had to choose between groceries, rent, car payments and such AND the medical insurance.  In an economy where most Americans are already strapped, I do NOT feel that this should be mandatory OR fines imposed for non-compliance.  In fact, if they are going to “steal” $99 or whatever it is from the Burger King worker’s paycheck , it should automatically be applied to the cost of the premium and a special plan be put into place to cover them.  Burger King employees are good examples for this. They are getting hit too. Anyway, this is theft, pure and simple and that is why I support Cruz.  I am not rich. I am not eating steak every night. All I want is the $250 out of my paycheck back.  To me it is thievery when they take from one group to give to another and then they raised the deductibles to a ridiculous level.  The people in charge right now are NOT Democrats. The last true Democrat was Ann Richards and she is gone.  I honestly think she’d have taken the same path Rick Perry took with this trash.

The mis-assumption for many Democrats is that it is only  people who are well off and white who want this thing abolished–unless they are lying to make race an issue of it, and that would not surprise me. Well if they call me white, they are racists themselves. I am part Comanche. I am not well off either. I live in an RV (rented) for now.  I do not make a huge amount of money and I am sick and tired of hearing Democrats tell me how well off I am when I have to rely on a  soup kitchen to eat dinner at least 3x a freaking week–even on my pay. I could lie and say I make $20 less a month than I do and get SNAP but I am not a liar and I will not steal. I’ll leave that to these Democrat politicians who seem to think that they are Robin Hood incarnate.  I will also be the first to remind them that Robin Hood was still a thief in the end–and if they really think that they are “Robin Hood” they need to be reminded that the “merry men and women of congress” will turn their backs on them when it hits the fan too.

The only ones who really do NOT have to worry about this thing are those who fall into that 2% that Gore keeps bitching about. How are they getting exempted from this crap?  Believe me they are. I am think that if it is good enough for us, the working people out here, then it is good enough for everyone else.

Subsidies? Please…That is an even bigger  joke.

I definitely think the 10 Senators whose seats are up for grabs next year figured it out.  They are begging Obama to fix the crap because their voters are giving them ultimatums! Gee, do you think Obama will listen to THEM and grant a 1 year individual extension on this crap? I don’t think so. He’ll let ’em go down with the ship.

SO now all I have is ONE question to ask.  IF we don’t agree why can’t we just all get along and work on what we DO agree on first, then duke it out over the other crap at election time? Hasn’t the government played that division card long enough?  THEY work for us–not the other way around.

Vulnerable Senate Democrats

 

UPDATE….I guess Obama is going to give individuals that one year extension the House Republicans were begging for prior to the shut down…Good idea but is it still kicking the can down the road and avoiding the inevitable? Better yet, which party will get credit for the idea? Gee…Seems like it would have paid off to negotiate with those repubs after all, huh Mr. Reid?  Ms. Pelosi?  What? I can’t hear you…However, we shall see if they were right, won’t we? Stay tuned…Same bat time, same bat channel!

This is No Country for Old Racists…Seriously!

I am going to say this again and again until those of a collectivist mindset gets it right…RACISM in all forms is WRONG. It should not be allowed to be taught in our culture–whether it be  in academics or in society. To raise children to be this way is abuse and should be treated as such. It does not matter if it is a professor or a school teacher, if they teach anything like that, they should be permanently barred from teaching in all 50 states and barred from  setting foot on ANY campus, and if they are here on a work visa, it should be immediately revoked and they should be sent home.

Now what sparked this you ask? Aside from the fact that my ancestors were here long before anyone of European descent–including Spaniards set foot on the place?  It was one statement by this man:

There should be no tolerance for this type of teaching at ANY level of education in America and teachers/professors with these views should not be in ANY educational post in this country.

There should be no tolerance for this type of teaching at ANY level of education in America and teachers/professors with these views should not be in ANY educational post in this country.  This is hate speech. It must be stamped out.

This gentleman, and I do use that term rather loosely for him, doesn’t seem to realize that not even his people–many of whom were also Spaniards who came to this continent are considered “white”.  Yes, he probably has them in his family tree…I have no tolerance for such bigotry. My grandson is part African American and I am part Comanche. For his information, my people were here long before anyone’s and yes there is Irish in my family tree but many were most likely indentured servants.

Anyone who supports this ilk is part of the problem in this country.  No artist in film or in the music industry should remain silent when these people are getting away with such hate speech. This is not about the parties anymore. It is about the people and these racists are like a cancer and must be weeded out and removed from their posts–period!  As long as these people have control of our colleges and children in the classrooms, there can never be unity because they seek to divide and conquer.

 

Killing Time–and the Wisdom of Beavis and Butthead, and the “Breakfast Club”

One of the most horrible things about living in our world is that we are slaves to a bloody clock.  Our days are divided up into segments of 24 hours rather than from sunrise to sundown.  If I ever have my way, my day will go back to the natural way it was meant to be.   To be honest, I am mainly tired and ill in bed with the flu as I type this, but I still will type  away.

However I am grateful for all of this because it gives me so much time to reflect.  It gives me time to sit back and just BREATHE.  I love life.   I love the opportunities that are opening up for me–and they are there.  I see them on the dream board I’ve been building onto and adding to for over a year.  Time, reflections and travel are recurring themes on it and I know it will come to pass.

I constantly think outside the box. I’ve never had the opportunity to really study the arts which I find to be fascinating, but I did have the opportunity to read many books, which breathe life into many a subject–if they are able to keep my interest longer than some of the people I have met.  Because of a lot of drama and trauma, I was the reclusive creature in my younger years.  I was a lot like Ally Sheedy‘s character in “The Breakfast Club” too–minus the stealing.  I couldn’t draw like she could–but I could write.  That was my escape from the cruel world in which I lived. I find that this fan made video featuring the character of Allison Reynolds was perfect:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lPbfshzJ9g&feature=related

To me that was the character, that in real-life, who was probably the most misunderstood and (most likely) misguided among them all.  No one knew what went on in her head until she acted on it.  She didn’t share much until later.  No one knew what pain she went through outside of the school-house walls.  I wonder where she would be in a class reunion today?  I know where I am–usually…Notably absent and with reason.

This is what Allison and I needed to hear when we were younger…Maybe one day if she hasn’t already–we will hear this from SOMEONE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1bcQMCZ5gU

I dreamed of one day having the courage to even get in front of people again, which I now have.

“…I am I myself alone…I realize I never need to use no one–money, power, holy roads…Freedom puts my faith in none of the above…”–Duran Duran (From ‘None of the Above‘)…

I can so relate to that song. You can hear it in its entirety here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ezrtGrpvSk

I lived that song and I really would like to cover it with an all female band…Growing up in the south has been confining in some ways, but very free in others.  Now before all my Baptist relatives and friends start sending me e-mails, I will say this.  All that song says to me is that we are all responsible for our own paths in life and we have to choose those for ourselves.  Many of us were brought up to be pleasing and accommodating, when in reality, it is that nature in some of us that made us so weak that we reach a breaking point.  We have to walk away in order to find our own answers at times–and it has nothing to do with whether we believe in a creator as much as it has to do with the fact that every person’s steps have to be directed from within.

It is when we follow our consciences that we often come up against stiff opposition from our families and communities and we are forced to conform and be accepted or go our own way and face their anger at their loss of influence over our everyday lives.  They learn to deal with it, just as we learn to deal with the fact that some will never accept us as we are as individuals.

My dad used to really get angry if I failed to call him at least once or twice a month.  One time he actually called the sheriff of the county I live in thinking that I went missing.  I love him to this day for that.  I also miss him terribly, even though there were times he really got upset because he couldn’t influence certain decisions of mine–including who to vote for.  You see, if you don’t vote the way the family thinks you should vote, they think you come close to being a candidate for a frontal lobotomy for the simple fact that you break family traditions–at least it seems that way sometimes!

What blew his mind is when I actually would show him how people he supported actually voted on the issues. After that, he never voted a straight party ticket either–at least I do not think he did.  It was also after that day he finally accepted the fact that I march to my drum and he didn’t have to worry over it.

As I was growing up, women were still being raised to be home-makers…Well, I didn’t exactly fit the mold.  I worked and raised my kids.  Sometimes it involved having 2-3 jobs.  Again, my life was ran by a clock.  People would say “budget your time”…I’d say, “You are so full of it. I work 2 jobs, attend college and am raising kids.  I only have an allotment of 8 hours to budget for sleep–and that is if one of my kids isn’t sick!”

After some of my “friends” had kids of their own, they figured out what I meant.  I wouldn’t trade those days for anything.  They molded me into who I am today.  When I am home sick, my boys get me chicken soup and Gatorade! Gatorade!  The fix all for everyone’s ailments and/or injuries (according to them)!  I think they got that off of Beavis and Butthead to be honest…Want proof?  Here it is!  Here is a clip from the “Dog Bite” episode!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60GCIZqoVfw

Well, anyway, just because they are grown now, doesn’t mean that things change.  They still need Mom from time to time and it makes her feel pretty good–even though they don’t know it!  I keep it to myself a lot.  When they get sick, I tend to look in on them, but God Forbid that I actually get them medicine!  They refuse to take it for some reason–unless it’s REALLY serious enough to have antibiotics for.  Maybe more of that Comanche blood is in them than I thought!

Well, anyway, life is good…I am happy and I love my boys–as well as my unborn grand child…

I’ll know whether to buy for a boy or girl on the 28th and I’ll spill the beans for sure!  Take care and have a great weekend! I only hope that all the other Allison’s in the world find this sense of peace…

When your gut usually tells you to, it’s usually best to do so…

Did you ever have that feeling that you should take an opportunity, although it sounded like something that might not be your cup of tea (as in what you KNOW you can do)?  I have several times.  I have recently accepted a position as an assistant manager trainee.  I can work my way into full management within a year–which is a great opportunity with benefits.  I can do that job, so that is not the issue.  I know I could easily get an overseas job once my TESOL course is complete.  No problem…However something tells me that this is where I need to be for now.  Sometimes what you view as a lesser opportunity gives you an opportunity to learn and to grow.  This job  is already doing this.  I am learning to enjoy being “myself” again. 

I love teaching.  I love working with students so maybe this is my de-briefing from sergeant mode! Being a corrections sergeant caused me to “lose” that part of myself that allowed me to be a little more trusting.  At times this is a good thing.  At others, I often wonder.  Everything is starting to turn green outside, and I am usually greeted by a blue sky, a decent temperature and a wonderful walk on my mountain. It is those times I spend up there that I feel most energized afterwards. 

However I have another sanctuary I go to.  Check this out…I felt an urge to go there earlier and do some more reading…

Sanctuary #2--the one I never shared before...

 

I like sitting on that rock that’s over the water too.   This is just a place where I can go to get in touch with that part of myself I thought was lost–but is just sleeping from time to  time.  It is a part of my being that has lain dormant for too long in the cell I stuck it in for its own protection.  There are springs that feed into the pond here and the lake that follows beyond the earlier shot. 

This spring flows underground before going into sanctuary #2...I think it's neat!

Some of my ancestors were Comanches who rode along trails in W. Texas.  They knew how to navigate the various lakes and streams in what most of the early settlers thought was desert land.  They would follow these trails and the water supply all the way to Northeast Texas.  The pictures I am sharing in this post were taken at Comanche Trail Park in Big Spring, TX.  Between this place and the mountain, I can always get some “me time” in.   I will go up to the mountain again when I get off of work tomorrow because I want to get a picture of that fox that is running around up there!  However, this picture will have to do as far as the company I had:

In my best "Al Pacino voice" I'm saying to myself: "Say hello to my little friends! And next time remember to bring them some freakin' food!" 😀

 

I love feeding the ducks…I just forgot the food today!  There is also another trail right across from this that leads down to another part of the spring which feeds the lake…When one stands in the middle where the spring flows across the trail, it looks like one is walking on water! 

This spot is really cool! I'm looking toward the lake here! It is on the other side of that trail where you see the tree on the right.

 

Well, I am about to head off for work again, but I’ll be in one of two places when I get off!  If not at that park above, I’ll be here:

Another mountain shot...

Anyway, have a great day!  I know I will!