I Stand Alone Yet Not Alone

I am one alone. I walk my mountain in solitude, even as the approach of autumn means my birds and such are beginning to leave. It is in this place I am safe. It is in this place I am one with all that surrounds me and know that although I stand alone, I am not alone.  As the cool air blows through the trees which are about to enter their slumber, the Earth beneath my feet seems to energize my inner being by letting me know that no one has carved into her and marred her any further here–yet.  Hopefully no one ever will.

The foxes aren’t here right now. They seem to be staying in their own domiciles as of late.  Once in a while I see a few stray birds up in the sky of blue. I feel a sadness at their departure, but  with joy knowing that they will return in the Spring.  All is a reminder that the circle continues and will not end–even when the day comes that my life is over.

I hope to be by the Ocean again one day and far away. We shall see what awaits me, that is for certain. Have a great day.

From the Top

What beauty this all has for me!

rainbow

 

Less is More…

I am moving away by choice. I am moving closer to my work and taking my faithful friend–BUDDY with me. Buddy is my dog that I’ve had for almost 14 years & wasn’t about to part with him. He still thinks he’s about five, too… 😉  I’m going to have to part with a lot of stuff because it is a small place, but I will have my privacy.  I will also finally be able to sit back and do a lot of thinking–and actually be able to cook.  However, fear not!  I test my food before I let anyone else have it. If I can get around a kitchen without blowing it up, it is a miracle totally equal to the immaculate conception!

My books, dvds, jewelry and a few other things are going with me.  However I do have to part with some things to get smaller things–like my TV and stand. They are too big to fit. Other than that, I have several things I will NOT part with that are smaller, and if no one comes to stay in the other bedroom, that is going to be my writing/computer room., but I’m sure Buddy is going to claim a corner to crash in!  He always does!

I also look forward to living alone again.  I actually look forward to being able to watch my Banshee dvd’s and such, which should arrive in July or the first part of August.  I’ll have to change the order up to get it shipped to where I’m going.  I’ll probably have them shipped to my workplace. I am going to get the poster and T-Shirt too. I love shows with good acting and logical plots–and despite the nickname of the Cinemax channel, this show has those things.

The only main drawback is that I will not get to see my grand kids as much.  They are moving in the opposite direction.  However, I hope they come to Midland to visit once in a while.   I would  lay down my life for my boys or the grand kids in a heartbeat. However, I always love a quiet evening sitting outside in a lawn chair,  where the only sounds I hear are the wind, the birds and the occasional roar of thunder before I have to go back inside.

I also love the sound of rain hitting a tin roof, and the sight of the stars and the full moon–which I’ll also be able to enjoy.  These are some of the things people take for granted.  For me, it will be almost like a return to known territory–almost like a sanctuary, which I need so, so badly right now.

I will have a quiet place of my own so that I can get back to writing as well.  I need that type of space to work on “Centuries Under the Moon” anyway.   I really like the idea of having a female lead, with a female perspective on the modern world–despite the fact she died well over 200 years prior…

Anyway, have a great night.

Nana is on a Rant! ***HATERS YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED***!

I have to be brutally honest here.  It is shameful when any writer uses their forum to abuse a child. PERIOD. I don’t care what the person’s credentials are or anything of the like. If I can tell they are writing in an irresponsible way, they will be called out on the carpet for it. I’ll be the first to do it because they make those of us who take our craft seriously look bad and we all get lumped into the same category after time has passed…

I cannot stand it when writers bully a child in the media, write an article on a movie or series they obviously did not watch all the way though, critique a musician’s album when they obviously only listened to one track, etc…These are not writers or journalists, they are bullies and armchair experts who don’t know what they are talking about. It’s that simple, and if they have a degree–shame on them.  They just made their own college look VERY bad when they do this garbage.  The reality is, a lot of them ignore what they were taught once they have the degree in their hand.

We saw this type of bullying when Gabrielle Douglas was attacked for her faith when she won the gold medal at the Olympics in London.  They also criticized her looks this week rather than praised her for her accomplishments.  Shame on those so-called reporters who brought it up. I lost respect for several of them.

They often mistake opinion for truth, diatribes for journalism and perception for reality–if they are not deliberately distorting it to suit their own purposes.

That being said, the negative commentary made about Gabrielle Douglas by these so-called “adults” is nothing more than cyber-bullying in my book. They have attacked a 16-year-old child for her faith, her hair, her looks and anything else they can think of to take the spotlight off what she accomplished in London.  The people that write such tripe also put down soldiers, honest people who work to make change in society and they play armchair expert on almost any subject known to man.  One can’t argue too much with them. They think they know everything. All one can do is when they find the place where they have distorted the truth, use their own words on them and make them eat that article for lunch.

I don’t care if someone worships Allah, Vishnu, God, the Great Spirit, little green men from Mars or whatever–there is never any reason on Earth to attack one’s faith, looks or their person, rather than focus on their achievements.  Anyone who has nothing better to do than launch personal attacks on someone has wasted this reader’s time.

I’ve called these so-called writers on the carpet for their tripe many times and will not stop doing it as long as such irresponsible writers abound…I don’t care if it is a so-called movie critic that didn’t watch the film or series past the first few minutes (or the first episode), a music critic that OBVIOUSLY only listened to ONE track on an album and then judged the entire thing, OR the mere bully who wants to attack a person who has achieved much simply because they don’t have what it takes to get out from behind their keyboard and make a difference themselves.  There are obvious ways to see who these people are. I learned to spot them years ago. They are a shame to the craft.  I may not be perfect at what I do, but that is what my friends are for and they see my writing LONG before  put it out there.

I feel better now…I shall now leave to go see the little man:

and he ALWAYS brightens my day!

And to all the haters,  racists and such out there–KISS MY FANNY!

Fallen…Forgotten…

I was called Fallen.  I am the one you don’t see or hear.  I stood by you when you cried, and told you all would be well.  Yet you chose to simply let me fall.  I was crushed and broken, but you were no longer there. You built your own Utopia while I faithfully stood and waited.  Silently…Hoping for some sign that my fears had not come to pass.  Then the rain fell.  As each drop penetrated my being, I longed to be part of Mother Earth once again–to have that oneness with something again, for walking on this red road has become increasingly difficult.

At least if I am part of Mother Earth, at some point we will cross paths again and I will feel your warm presence–though you will not know mine for I will be supporting your footsteps as I always have. However, the Great Spirit has other plans for me.  I will one day leave this place behind, and the grief I have with it.  As the rain washes the tears from my fading tracks, you will come to look for me but I will be gone–as well as my tracks.  And when you seek the Great Spirit to return me to you, you will find that he has sent me to where I am truly needed…

And at that point I will no longer be fallen or forgotten. I will be appreciated, needed and loved.  I have a purpose yet to fulfill in this life and will not let you drive me to such depths of despair again–let alone distract me from what I must do ever again.  Farewell, for soon you will be fallen and forgotten as my purpose on this road unfolds before me.  Even now you seek me, but I am not to be found…Please do not ask  about me or for me again. I will no longer answer for the ship I am going to leave on is waiting. I shall not look back because I have now risen.  Of the two of us, I shall now fly to my new sanctuary. Peace.

My Sanctuary

The Great White Alligator of Baines Parish Louisiana (Part 2)

It was quiet for the rest of the afternoon around the house.  Felicia went into the front yard and sat on a bench outside by the front sidewalk.  The sun was peeking out from behind a few clouds that were beginning to disperse.  She then  pulled out  a book and began to read it when a young man was walking by. He was a sandy-haired young man in his late 20’s.  To Felicia he was gigantic, however he did stand at around 6’2″.

” ‘Ello!,” he said smiling, “And how is that little girl named Felicia who teased my father?”

“Daddy isn’t coming home.” she told him.

“Oh love…I’m sorry.  I’ve come at a bad time and I was going to invite your family to our housewarming–”

“I don’t know what a housewarming is.  It can’t be cold in there.” she said.

“Well,” he said as he smiled slightly at her response, ” it is actually a get together neighbors have when a new person moves into the area–it’s like a party.”

“I don’t know if a party is a good idea now.” she told him.

“But why Felicia?” he asked.

A  tear escaped her eyes.

“Everyone is really sad right now. Daddy died in the war and I don’t remember him.  He went away when I was a baby.” she told him.

“Oh my.  I am so sorry.  I’ll come back at another time, alright.,” he said to her as he came inside the gate and knelt to be at eye level with her, “But my father did say to give you this book. If your family needs anything, please let me know.”

“Thank you. I forgot your name, I’m sorry–”

“It is Stephan. I’ll see you later, okay?” he said.

“Okay.  Thank you for the book. I’ll read it.” she said.

Stephan stood back up and Ida appeared at the door.  “Is there something I can help you with, young man?” she asked.

He went to the door and introduced himself.  When Ida realized that he was their new neighbor–along with this father, whom Felicia had already met, she invited him in.

They talked for a few minutes and he did take her up on her offer of muffins and coffee.  Annie did not come downstairs.  Ida then explained that although Michael had been missing since Felicia was a baby, she was concerned at the impact that knowing he was never going to return would have on the child.

“I’ve worked with a lot of children, and I think she will surprise you.  She is very bright and resilient.” he told her.

“Why thank you,” Ida said, “You’ll also find that she has a very large imagination when things get back to normal.”

“Oh yes! She already told me of the white alligator! It is actually a fascinating folk tale.  There is an old Indian in town that told me of it two days ago. I tend to think that he actually believes it!” he grinned.

“Big Bear.  He’s a full-blooded Lakota Sioux Indian and he always looks out for Felicia when we go into town.  He tells her all kinds of stories and tales, but she loves the one about that alligator! Big Bear can see things sometimes. He told me when Felicia turned one that her father would not be found alive. I didn’t want to believe him either–for my daughter’s sake.” Ida told him.

“Well, I thank you for your hospitality but I must really be running along now.  I am truly sorry for your loss. If you need anything let us know. I’d like to know when the service is if that is alright. My father and I will be there for your family.” he said.

“Why thank you. I’ll let you know Mr.–”

“Just call me Stephan.” he said as they went to the door.   Felicia thanked him again for the book and went quickly upstairs.  She laid the book on her bed and looked at Michael’s picture.

Grandma was right. You really aren’t coming back. I’m sorry, Daddy.  I’ll see if I can find the alligator another day so Mommy will be happy again. I’ll still talk to you though. I promise.” she said as yet a few more tears welled up in her eyes. It was becoming real to her now.  She took his picture to the bed and set it next to her pillow. She then fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Stephan went back to his house.  The painters were painting the outside a very pale bluish-grey color.  It was at that point his father, Jack, stepped outside.  He then went to the mailbox as Stephen approached.

“Well where have you been off to? I got three phone calls from different schools already.” Jack said.

“Then I’ll call them back, Dad. It’s not a big deal.” Stephan smiled.

“Was that little girl home today? She hasn’t been by and she usually comes by just to see what your old man is tearing apart!” he grinned.

“Dad, Felicia may not be around for a bit.” Stephan told him solemnly.

“What on Earth do you mean? She didn’t get into some kind of trouble or anything–”

“No, Dad…Her father was killed in the war. Her grandmother told me that he had been missing since she was a baby but this has to be devastating for her.” he said.

“I am sure that it is. Just let me know when the services are.  Does Felicia have a mother? Jack asked.

“Yes but I have not met her. I only know because her grandmother, Ida, explained that she hasn’t left her room.” Stephan said.

“Damned dreadful.” Jack said as he went back to the house.   Stephan could see Felicia’s house from the curb.

“Poor kid.” he said to himself.  He then got into his own car and headed into town.  He remembered how distant he felt from Jack after his own mother died when he was 8.  He thought it was totally heartless to not shed tears, but then one night a month later, he got up to go to the bathroom and saw Jack talking to her picture as rain was pounding the roof.

“God I miss you, Kate.,” he began as a tear did escape his eyes, “I cannot let him see me like this. He’ll think I am weak.  The truth is, I don’t know how to do anything the way that you did.  I was always a man’s man, but you had a way with kids that I just do not have.  Your mother suggested that I read him stories and such and I will try that, but I can never be you. I love that boy with my life and I’m so afraid to let him see what I feel. I want him to be strong–and I am not.”

“Dad, you’re a lot stronger than you think.  I found that out when I broke my leg that summer playing football.” Stephan thought to himself as he pulled into the store.  Big Bear, who stood at 6′ 4″ was sitting on a stump beside the door.  Stephan got out of his car, a brand new Chevy Volt and was about to enter when Big Bear uttered:

“Felicia will unite this place.  You are good with her. That will bring you great reward.” he said.

“Okay.  Thank you–”

“No need. You do it, not me. You see things that she sees. You understand her. Other grown ups do not, but they will.  Through her eyes, this town will be strong again.”  he said.

“I’ll be right back, Big Bear.” Stephan said, still unsure of what to think of this.

“I know.  You will by eggs, milk, bread, meat and more candy for Felicia.” he said.

“How did you–”

“Dropped your list. Felicia likes those home-made lemon drops.  She’s allergic to nutmeg though so steer clear of Emma’s grab bag. Makes the girl break out in hives.”  Big Bear said as he picked it up off of the ground and handed it to him.

“Thank you.” Stephan grinned.

“You are welcome. You and your father will both learn much from her.” he said.

Stephan really wasn’t sure how to handle what Big Bear told him, but several of his neighbors told him that they always go to him when they need advice.

Meanwhile, his father, Jack sat at the kitchen table scratching his head.  He was grateful that he and Stephan were close, but was even more grateful that he learned that tears were not a weakness before it was too late.  He opened up his brown leather wallet and looked at a picture inside.  It was one of himself, his wife Kate,  and of Stephan when he was a baby.   His eyes got misty as he talked to it…

“You would be proud of him Kate.  He has grown into a strong man with a big heart–just as you had hoped.  He still has to put up with the old man being himself though.  We  still have that piano and the drum set.  I still have the jewelry. I couldn’t part with it.  Maybe one day our son will have a daughter but who knows? I often wonder how things might have been had you been here today. No one could ever begin to understand me as you did…”   he mused as the phone rang. His brother from Surrey was calling…

Jack talked to his brother Ike for a long time.  45 minutes had passed when he looked up at the clock…”Just like his mother…Shops until he’s broke or talks until his tongue falls out!” he laughed.

Stephan picked up the items on his list and then walked back over to Big Bear.

“You think I’m crazy but I’m not. I see things. Felicia needs a real hero. You’re it.” he said.

“I hardly know her–”

“The spirits say you will save her. They don’t lie.  They say your father will learn to dream again too.” he said.

“Well I appreciate your thoughts.” Stephan said as he went for the car.

“And she’ll love the book.” he replied.   This really threw Stephan off. Only he and his father knew of it.

Stephan’s thoughts were on Felicia all the way back to his house.  He felt her emptiness. He felt her pain.  He was determined to speak with Jack about it as well.

As he pulled into the drive, the sun was still shining down on the neighborhood since it had cleared up.  Since Jack insisted on having the painters out, he was grateful that it didn’t mist or rain.   When he walked in, he noticed Jack had fallen asleep while in his recliner so he quietly carried in the groceries and put them away.  He then went outside and called the numbers to the three schools Jack had written for him. He then looked over at the stove and noticed that his mother’s favorite tea kettle was on the counter beside it.  He then looked over to the left and saw her favorite biscuit jar too–one she picked up when they went to Japan one year for a visit…She loved cranes and it had pictures of cranes on it.

He smiled and looked back at his father. “Dad you always strive to keep her alive around here.  I suppose that’s good, but I’m grown now so should you decide to put out those beer steins out she didn’t like, I’ll think you want her to come back to haunt you!” he said softly as he remembered how mad his mother got at Jack for gambling to win them.  She found out that they were worth a lot of money later and decided maybe she should leave him be over it.  These spats always gave Stephan a laugh or two as a child.

 

Centuries Under the Moon…

The wind howled as she made the trip toward her home, but the young mother of two was not going to get there on this night.  Victoria was being followed.  She was being followed by one who not only sought to make her his prey–but his mistress. The year was 1790 and she tried to hurry but people along the way kept stopping her, wishing to converse a bit.   As darkness fell, the dark one awakened.  He could almost hear her heartbeat even from his crypt.

His name was  Marius Caldwell.  He had died three days prior, but the whole town knew he was insanely jealous of a man named Stephen Wexley.  He had married Victoria three years prior and every day and night Marius dreamed of being with no one but her.  Nobody knew the circumstances of his death, but Stephen had been concerned about Victoria being out late at night coming back from her parents home.  Her brother Darren was with her tonight but turned back as she neared the path leading up to her home.

Her blond locks fell gracefully as she loosened the cap in anticipation of entering the gate.  As she smiled upon entering the front gate, the thoughts of her two children, Lilly and Jeremiah prevailed on her mind.   She looked forward to taking them to the river for a picnic with Stephen the next day.  Marius, Stephen’s cousin was spurned by her father when he had approached about marriage.

“For one, you are too old for my daughter.,” her father began, “And for two, Stephen Wexley had already approached me long ago.  They’ve been friends since childhood.”

This made 16-year-old Victoria feel better back then.  Stephen totally loved her and she him. They married two years later.

As she began the walk up the path, she heard rustling in the brush.  She turned to get a glimpse, her petite frame keeping steady as she resumed her walk.  As she turned she thought she had seen a figure in the brush again.  She then quickened her pace…She felt a chill and stopped to turn around and there  he was.

Before a single scream could escape her lips, he overpowered her and took her back through the woods. The more she fought, the more he seemed to enjoy the moment.  He decided to take his time as he carried her into his lair.  After she screamed and kicked him he pulled her face to look into her eyes.

“Enough Victoria!” he said to her.  She then fell into the trance he longed for.  This power of his was something he found to be amazing.

“I see  your thoughts, but after tonight, you are mine–as it should have been. You will not fight me any longer.” he told her. With that he kissed her.  He could see her thoughts and was angry that all of her thoughts went straight toward the man she married.

“We’ll see how long that lasts. You will find that there are advantages to being damned to this existence.” he told her as he began to remove her clothing.  Blood was not all that he hungered for.

“Please don’t do this–my children need me–”

“The children that should have been mine?  Thank your father for this.” he thought to her in response as his cold hands caressed her warm breasts, and her heart raced for fear.  He then tore her skirts from her so that she stood before him completely naked.

“I will take from you now what was denied me in my life–and you will be mine for as long as I walk this Earth, Victoria Wexley. You will live as I live and come to me when I beckon you to do so–unless I get killed in the mean time.” he said.

Despite his handsome features, he knew she was repulsed by his touch.  The tears rolled as he drove her into a forced frenzy and violated her more than once.

“Please let me go…Stop…I’ll tell no one, I swear it. Just let me go back to my babies and my husband.” she pleaded in her thoughts.

“After tonight I AM your husband–as it should have been all along.”  he thought to her as he looked into her blue eyes.

“Don’t worry,” he told her, “After your first feed, you will not feel this way any longer. I can make you forget your former life in time.”

As he violated her one last time, he saw the fear in her eyes as he allowed the creature that he became to reveal itself to her.  The red  eyes were the last thing she would remember seeing as he once again put her into a trance that she could not break free from.  She wanted to scream but only silence prevailed as he sunk his fangs deep into her small neck.  Once he drained her he told her, “In three nights you will come to me .”

As she lay dying, with her last breath, she made one vow:  “Not one member of my family will be touched by this existence and you will never have my heart–that is what you wanted.”    Once she passed, he dumped her naked body by the river and threw her clothes beside it in a rage. “I own you now. All of you.” he hissed.

The next morning, one of the neighbors who had been asked to help find her discovered her body and covered it with a jacket. He then found the other clothing.

Stephen was devastated when he got the news.  The shock and the numbness that followed would result in his parents moving back into the estate to help with the two children. Lilli and Jeremiah were only two years old and five months old .   Stephen was a handsome man.  He was tall with sandy colored brown hair.  His eyes were brown and very intense.  Once he got the news, he demanded to be taken to her body.

“But Sir, you don’t want to see her as she is–”

“You say a creature attacked her.  What makes you think I will believe that knowing that her clothing was removed?” he asked as the tears ran down his cheeks.  With that Stephen left his children in care of the maid and went into the town. At the doctor’s clinic he was taken to her body.  The doctor explained that she had been attacked and her blood was drained from her.

“Was she violated also?” Stephen asked.

“I am afraid so, my boy. I am so sorry that this has happened.  She was a very sweet and kind soul.” the doctor said as he put a hand on Stephen’s shoulder.  She was buried within two days.  The rumors flew all over town that strangers had done this to her.

“Why?,” Stephen asked himself as he stood weeping over her grave, “I would give my very life if it meant that you were here right now instead of me, Victoria. I should have accompanied you myself.” he whispered as the service ended.

Three nights later, Victoria did rise again, only to find Marius waiting.

“Very Good, Victoria.  No we will walk under the light of the moon and feed together.” he said.

“No I will not!” she yelled.

With one look, she knew she was weak and couldn’t resist him.

“My dear bride, you will do whatever it is you are told. I promise you that.” he told her.

“Her will is her own, Marius.” another voice echoed as she was released.

“Wha–you cannot interfere!”  Marius interjected.

“You have misused what you have to harm this woman with no cause.” another older vampire said as he appeared.

“She is mine! Rightfully she is mine!” he said.

“No Marius. I created you and you betrayed me.  Victoria go in peace. Do as you will.”  the older one said to her.

“I cannot have my life back–”

“Then decide the course of your current existence. That is far more than what this traitor gave to you.  Had I been here, you would never have been harmed. For that I am truly sorry. Now go while we deal with this one.” he said.

“We?” she asked.

Then many more appeared.

“We do not kill among the good and we take animal blood. He betrayed his covenant with me which would have meant peace between the families. We are not indiscriminate. You may join us one day if you like.” he told her.  She walked away and went toward her former home.

One of them was behind her.

“If you change Mr. Wexley, you are as bad as Marius.” the girl who once lived by day told her.

“I have no intention of feeding on him.” Victoria said.

“Visit him as a ghost. You have the power. He sleeps now.” she told her.

“What will happen to Marius?” she asked.

“He will perish. They will see to that. Our clan takes animal blood. There are deer over there and horses over in that area.” the girl told her.

They went together toward the deer, which never sensed danger.  Victoria’s friend showed her how to feed and then Victoria fed.   The moon shone brightly above and the breeze seemed to be more fresh than before to her.”

“Your senses are heightened, my lady. You will find that when you visit your man, the passion for you will be heightened so you must feed well before going in there lest you harm him when he ignites your passion again.” the girl said.  With that, Victoria fed again on another male deer.

The branches banged against the window of the 2nd floor bedroom that Stephen and Victoria shared.  When she entered, she saw their portrait next to him on the bed, a bottle of brandy next to his hand and a glass on the floor.   As Stephen slept, his position told Victoria that it was she that he reached for.

She appeared as a ghost would with the moonlight at her back.  Stephen briefly woke to see her there.

“Victoria! Oh God!,” he began as tears formed again, “I am so sorry I didn’t escort you myself–”

“It was not your fault, Stephen.  I am alright. I carry your love always.” she said.

“Don’t leave me. I would rather have a ghost than nothing–”

“You will find another, my love.  One day–”

“No! I will not! I want no other and I knew that years ago! Please, I beg of you to stay.” he pleaded.

“I will only come to you in this realm–your dreams.” she said.

“Then so be it!” he said as he approached her and touched her now cold skin and kissed the lips that once were red and warm.

“You’re cold. Come over here.”  he told her as he guided her to their bed.

Each night afterwards she would come.  Each night he would make love to her. She saw her children from time to time but never made her presence known to them or held them.   By the time Lilli was seven, she only came to Stephen in their room.

The years passed.  There came a day when Stephen was merely content to hold her.  He was old now.  The children had married and moved away.  One night she came and waited outside for the maid and their children and grandchildren to leave.  She already knew that he was dying and losing him was causing her pain as well…

“You still mustn’t condemn him to this.” her friend told her.

“I won’t.  But I will be there when he goes. I promised–”

“IF he decides to be with her in that existence, it is entirely their decision, Maribel.” the older one told them.

“How did you know to come–”

“My dear, I created your tormentor.  His thoughts led to you. I can see your thoughts, Victoria.  If he decides on his own to be with you, it is alright to change him.” he told her.

“This is no life for him.” she said.

“As you wish, but if you change your mind, it is permissible in this circumstance.” he told her.

She shook her head.  “I have to watch them all for centuries die. I will not put him through that for I love him far too much.”

“Vic–”   Stephen whispered.

“I am here, Darling. I promised I would always be here.” she said.

“I will be with you soon, my Love.,” he told her, “It won’t be long–”

“You will sleep soon.  Just know that I have always loved you and will carry that with me for many centuries under the light of the moon.” she said.

“We will be together again, my love. You will see. The powers that be sent you to me so we’d always be together.” he told her.

“We’ll see, Darling. Now rest–”

“Love, you  Vic–” he whispered as his voice trailed off.  Within two more minutes he passed.  She quietly kissed him and they all fled.  She knocked over his glass to make sure the maid overheard that part before fleeing.

It began to pour down rain that very night.  Just before the clouds covered the moonlight, the clan could hear Victoria’s weeping in the wind.   There were no words, just the cries of torment and mourning.

“Have you told her what you foresaw?” Maribel asked the elder one.

“No.  It is not time.  When it is time, she will know the purpose and such.  Time will be set right, or she will come to terms with this existence.”

Victoria fed on wild animals and visited the family crypt regularly, crying for Stephen each time.  Then she went dormant 150 years later–after the death of her last great  grandchild.  The story of her murder spawned legends.  The ones about her and Stephen’s undying love always moved her.

Then one night she heard Stephen’s voice.  “Victoria, rise.”

“You can’t be–”

“It is alright my love.  I know everything now.  You must come out of the crypt. Your help is once again needed.” he told her.

“But I watched you die–”

“Victoria, you watched me die in a different time. Rise now. There is much to be done for the sake of our relatives.” he told her.

With that she opened her eyes and sat up.  She saw him there looking exactly as he did when they married–only in modern clothing.

“How can this be–”

“I will explain later. Come. We have much to discuss.” he smiled as he offered his hand.

 

 

© Tina Thomas-2012-All Rights Reserved

Do not reproduce or use without express permission.

 

Rainbow Dream…

It eludes me, yet I pursue it.  I pursue it for the same reason the 3 wise men followed the Star of Bethlehem–according to what I was taught.  The rainbow I am pursuing has riches, but not gold.  It has many colors, but not all are visible.  All I know is I see it each time I close my weary eyes and know that it is getting closer to me.  I saw you in that rainbow yesterday.  You motioned for me to keep coming toward you, but  I wasn’t fast enough to reach you.

Yet I feel you as though you are bringing it to me.  Who are you that you keep telling me that my destiny lies with you and to keep trying?You keep telling me to have faith in myself and believe that I have received, but yet where is it?  What do you mean I already have this?  I do not understand and you still bid me to follow.  All I know is this:  You’re too congenial and peaceful to be perceived as a leprechaun.  You aren’t a wizard or a spirit trying to haunt me…So what are you?

When you are near, I feel peace.  I feel loved–but when I wake up, the real world is there for me with its cruel devices.  I protect my loved ones from this as much as possible.  And what is with the paint you are leading?  He’s a beautiful horse yet you never ride him. I don’t understand…He has a gentle disposition.   Both of you are wrapped in the colors of that rainbow–and when I reach for you both, you are too quick for me.  Please explain to me what this is to me?

I ask this again and you give me three words: “You are loved.”   Then it seems to be alright.  I think I know what this is now…I am dancing in a rainbow toward my destiny.  Somewhere you are out there waiting for me.  Fine…I will be there.  Eventually my speed will match yours and then I will be there beside you.

I Really Believe that Black Elk’s Wisdom is Needed Now

The True Peace

The first peace, which is the most important,
is that which comes within the souls of people
when they realize their relationship,
their oneness, with the universe and all its powers,
and when they realize that at the center
of the universe dwells Wakan-Taka (the Great Spirit),
and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us.
This is the real peace, and the others are but reflections of this.
The second peace is that which is made between two individuals,
and the third is that which is made between two nations.
But above all you should understand that there can never
be peace between nations until there is known that true peace,
which, as I have often said, is within the souls of men.

Black Elk, Oglala Sioux & Spiritual Leader (1863 – 1950)

This is probably one of the wisest men who ever lived.  I think it is time that people learned from the wisdom that he left behind. If they would, the world wouldn’t be destroying itself from within.  The origin of all the problems of this world lies within the heart of  each individual.  We must always look to “fix” ourselves before trying to right the rest of the world. Once done, there will be no need or desire to encroach into another’s realm.  Trying to “convert” the world will never work because the spirit of man will always be free and will never submit to the oppression of others–even if they have to talk to their creator in secret.  No individual or group will ever dominate the spirit of man because only the creator can decide the destiny of any individual.

Black Elk knew where freedom lies.  It lies within each of us.  I just thought I would share that.  The freedom to “be” can never be taken from anyone.  When we get into that quiet place to where we can each hear that small, still voice inside of ourselves and take direction from it, then will we be able to find what it is we need to do with our time–what is left of it.  Time is too short to squander, and very precious.  We must make the most of our existence while we are here.  Only what we impart to others determines the impact we have on the lives of those us.  That is why it is so important to work  on ourselves FIRST.

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone!