How to Do Halloween for Grown-Ups When You’re Broke as Hell!

Okay…It’s the night before trick or treat…You’re between paydays and a lot of you love using October 31st as a way to let off steam once a year, act totally stupid and still have good reason for it. Before anyone asks, NO I’m not going to do Halloween. I’ve been sick with bronchitis so I’ll leave the festivities to the lot of you. It will be much more comical if I do. It’s more fun to watch the adults get drunk and act totally juvenile than it is to take part when with my luck, the weather will totally suck and make my bronchitis worse.

Now remember…EVEN if you’re broke as hell, this will work but you need 3-4 essential ingredients.

1. A sheet.  Doesn’t matter what color. You can use teal, purple, white, whatever…It’ll work.

2. Paper towel rolls–and if your ass is flat broke, ask your relatives for theirs! Tell ’em it’s for a kid’s project. That way you’re off the hook–unless you get arrested for the  OTHER variation of the costume if there is a wardrobe malfunction.

3.  A wire or ring of yarn big enough to fit around (NOT OVER) you’re head. You’re not going as a KKK grand wizard or a fake lynching victim! If you do it and you get your ass kicked and it ends up in the papers, I will laugh my head off at you!

4. A pair of flip-flops or sandals.

Two variations that are optional:  Construction paper and/or a guitar.

Now if you’re using a teal or green sheet–use the paper towel rolls and that ring to make a statue of liberty costume. Use your imagination and the construction paper for the torch.

If you use white, you can claim to be Julius Caesar carrying a scroll (only requires one roll)–or you can carry a guitar and  pretend you’re going to smash it, in which case you dressed as John Blutarsky…IF you don’t know who the hell that is, watch “Animal House”. Most from the era will never forget that show.

If female, the Statue of Liberty one would work–just use two sheets in case it’s cold as hell.

For a purple sheet, use gold paint and paint the leaves on the ring gold…Put some fake vampire blood on your hands and tell ’em you are “Pontius Pilate”.

Whatever you do, don’t go as Jesus. He wouldn’t do that. Besides, the cops might mistake you for an escaped mental patient. In fact if you decide not to celebrate it at all, then you’re not as insane as some of us are that allow the kid in us to come out once a year.  I once dressed up in a potato sack dress as a barefoot and pregnant bride. I had the straw hat, veil, etc..AND the blacked-out tooth. However it’s more expensive and time-consuming to sew the bloody things together. I paid a friend to do that.

Like I said earlier…THIS is what you do if you’re an adult wanting to play crazy tomorrow night and you’re broke as hell!

Happy Halloween!

Nana: Why She Hates Pirating…

Look, I am speaking from my heart so please don’t take this in a bad way, but I will not go to Piratebay for anything. It’s not fair to the actors and such. Know what I mean? There are perfectly legal ways to watch things–like www. huluplus.com and such, but I will not go to a place that seems to take pride in hurting the artists who work so hard to make their fans happy. Know what I mean? I know there are LEGAL sites for sharing and such that do pay the artists, but I would never want to deprive them of what they are entitled to. That’s just how I feel about it. I know how I would feel if I were in their shoes. I hope people who see this will understand where I am coming from. I certainly do not mean to step on toes here. It’s just that there are those who seem to take pride in getting it over on “the big wigs” without realizing that some of the people whose stuff their downloading are not the ones making small fortunes. To me it’s not the big wigs they are hurting but the performers and crew who put their blood and sweat into a production. Thanks for hearing me out on this.

I was inspired to write this post because one of my favorite actors has a show being downloaded from that site and the link was posted on his wall. I did alert him to this.  Hopefully one day, fans will see how wrong this is. If anyone has an idea for a guest blog on this, feel free to contact me. I have no problem with you sharing your thoughts on this here.

Reality #1: There Has to Be a Me…

At this moment you look in my eyes looking for an answer that you will not find

I left here so many moons ago knowing that I would now have to stand alone

and now you seem to have tracked me down though I didn’t want to be found

And what will you do when you find that you have lost the you that I knew?

You can’t run away from your lies for they are written in both of your eyes

and I can see the next lie is to be the one where you say you love me

but I know it’s a line that you play-that you’ve learned how to really convey

so I’ll walk toward a trail I know where no one else is allowed to go

It is there I find my soul is free far away from prying eyes for all to see

My shelter is in the very heart from the point of the comet’s start

and it hides me in every star above for in my universe is love

Though you’re not the one for me I know that I will first love me…

Before there ever is a we with one, there has to be a me…

Before there ever is a we with one, there has to be a me…

From me to you…

I hope that you all have a wonderful, Merry Christmas and a Happy and Joyous New Year!  It was with humility and grace that I got through 2011…It is probably how I will get through 2012, with another year of going to my mountain, changes coming along the way, and the blessing of becoming a grandparent. 

I know that for some of my friends there will be change and that good things are going to come to many of them…It’s just a gut feeling I have! 

Take care and enjoy your time with your friends and your families!  They are precious!

Missing Grannie…Especially at Easter…

Well, the family is all mixed up about tearing down my grandmother’s house.  I think it can be lived in, but nobody seems to want to take the time to give it some TLC.  I was quick to remind my son, who in his youthful haste said that it does need to be torn down, that it is hard to fathom that when so many little feet trotted across the white and gold linoleum floor of her living room over the decades–including mine and his.

My Grannie made us all go to church with her.  I didn’t like that stand, sit, stand, pray, sit, stand ritual–especially with long songs between stages.  The preaching did not bother me though.  The preacher we had would weave stories that kept us thinking and reflecting.  We did not get bored and fall asleep with him.  Grannie told stories about her youth also.  My sons were blessed to hear some of her stories also.  She told us all many stories of her childhood–and it is my youngest son, Kevin, who seems to have the memory of an elephant because he retells them once in a while–as does Brian and Eric.  Now my mother is sharing hers with us–along with Grannie’s so I guess you can say we have a rich oral history being handed down.

I can remember times when over 30 people would show up for Easter Sunday Dinner.  The smell of chocolate pies and her porcupine meatballs seemed to be luring the horde of relatives in from places unknown on that day of the year.  She served different types of food, and would often have worked on the meal since pre-dawn.  She would have a huge pan of meatballs, and later would have an even bigger pan of chicken and dressing.  I loved potato salad and deviled eggs…There was always homemade macaroni and cheese–until Kraft came out with a good, convenient alternative.  As usual, I could help get things and lick the bowl and/or the spoon!

Once the horde arrived, the adults ate in the dining room (in shifts–taking turns) while the kids were in the living room.  Grannie would often wait on everyone until the last person ate, and then she would sit down with her red, white and blue goblet full of iced tea and a plate.  Once she did that, everyone helped themselves, unless one of my aunts decided to do that to  keep traffic down in her tiny kitchen.

I remember when she painted the floor of the kitchen.  It is dark green with yellow.  Looking at it now, it is so hard to fathom how so many people could get through it to get to the dining room because it is tiny.   I remember sleeping through many a Texas thunderstorm on her bed.  The sound of the rain on the tin roof made it so relaxing to me.  There are times I wish that I could go back to those days–especially when my Grandpa Ainsworth was still among us.

Often I couldn’t reach the eggs hidden in trees higher than I could reach so he would lift me up to get them.  We would sit by the truck and eat a couple of eggs before the hunt was over and headed back to the house.   By four o’clock, people were eating again–if  not still napping!   All of us (the kids) rode in the back of the pickup truck.  There were no laws against it then, and depending on how the driver is behaving, you will not find a lot of policemen in that area saying much about it now because that might be the only vehicle a family of six owns in many places.  It is their sole mode of transportation and their work-truck 9 times out of 10.

Sometimes we’d stop at Mann’s Grocery to get a soda.  Then we’d get turned loose out in the yard, and sometimes we’d make ourselves sick eating so many mulberries or green plums off of the trees from my other grandmother’s house across the street.  Yes, some of the kids liked the green plums.  Not me…Now the grapes were another story.  I would really chow down on those–and ruin my supper every time, but Grannie didn’t say much because it was fruit and not the candy bars…Besides, after running off all that energy, we’d eat again in about an hour anyway.  My oldest brother would have dinner at Grannie’s–and then go across the street to my other grandmother’s house and eat again! Where the heck he put all that is beyond me to this day!

I found some pictures of myself from when I was little that I will share one day when I can scan them.  I was wearing dresses my mother and Grannie had made for me for school.   I often wonder what happened to that little girl in those pictures.  I also wonder if there are porcupine meatballs in Heaven…If there are, I’ll beat my brothers to her door when I get there~!

I miss her right now and no one will ever be able to fill her shoes or the void that her being gone has left in my life.  I cherish those memories.  Make sure you keep record of those for your families too–whatever your faith may be or whatever special days you have together.  You only have them once.  I hope you all had a blessed day and will have many more to follow.

Movie Critics are a Waste of Time and Energy…

I have very little respect for most movie critics…Why?  Most of them can’t act themselves, so they resort to slashing other actors with a pen and call themselves “experts” in the entertainment field.  I feel that the critics in the UK are the epitome of what snobbery is. Case in point: “William and Kate”–the Lifetime movie that aired tonight.  Not ONE word was said about bad acting for the most part–but they did slam the filmmakers for casting an American as Kate–and for filming it in L. A. Can anyone say “regional bias” because that is exactly what their writing reflects.  One made up his mind that the hated the movie before he ever watched it–and admitted it in his own review.  Guess what!? All of them were from the U.K.!  These were probably the same type of reporters that trashed Sarah Ferguson and chased Diana into the tunnel in Paris.  Sorry, but they make themselves sound like that.

In my opinion, even a movie that gets panned has good points in it.  Is there any critic really going to argue with me over the fact that Ben Cross probably made Prince Charles look pretty damned good?  Hell, he should be knighted for having the cojones to take that part!   One reviewer even complained because Mr. Cross didn’t “look like” Prince Charles.  You know what?  That one is right! Cross looked a hell of a lot better!  The Prince should be flattered and honored.

I get so sick and tired of these social nematodes that disguise themselves as writers and then try to elevate their status by ranting and raving over a movie when the public doesn’t give a flying rat’s ass what they think.  Why do editors even pay them?  Want to save some money? Fire them all.  The same holds true for music critics.  I know this much, if I were an actor, I wouldn’t even read the damned reviews.  I would probably be of the opinion that as long as I have my fan base and I get paid, I would most likely not give two shits about what some critic thinks.

As for Mr. Cross, he does not short change his fans.  Period!  He has a worldwide fan base and there are many movie watchers who adore his work.  Instead of you critics bitching and moaning all the time–why don’t you look at what the ACTORS and ACTRESSES are doing right and put something positive in those articles?  They wouldn’t find their way into the bird cages (or the litter boxes) so quickly if you did.  Hopefully this will lead to a lot more work for Mr. Cross because he is an actor who has been largely ignored and immensely under-appreciated for at least 3 decades now.  Hollywood! What the hell is wrong with you?  There are not many actors of his caliber left.  I suggest you give him the chance that he so richly deserves. 

This man is definitely long overdue for a few kudos.  He does have range and that is a lot more than I can say for a lot of his younger counterparts at the moment.  I, for one, would love to see him paired up with Matthew McCaughnehey.  Mr. Cross is one actor I will pay for the ticket to go see–not the headliners.  You can bet on that.  He is the only reason I got out to see Star Trek when it came out.  I never was impressed with the shows “Heroes”, “Lost” or the like on TV so I would have never paid to see Zachary Quinto.  Sorry, but that’s the way it is.  Everyday people have different tastes and movie critics fail to see that on a grand scale.  Quinto was great in that movie, by the way.  However, one can rest assured that if Ben Cross was not in that movie, I would have waited for the dvd.  Producers and directors need to pay more attention to the everyday fans instead of these paid crybabies who have nothing better to do than to complain.  It really does get old.

Have a great week folks! I’ll get off of my soapbox now.

Hey Hollywood! Put this guy to work while you can. You don't realize it but his fan base is bigger than you think. He deserves recognition!

My top 10 Villains (Actors and Actresses)–Updated with Pics

I know a lot of people won’t agree with my picks…I’ll give my honorable mentions at the end.  However, I tend to judge by an older standard anyway and these listed meet it.  These are actors that did not short change their fans in the parts I watched.  Some got stereotyped and others didn’t get the mention they deserved…Well, they get it here!  Besides, it gives me a breather from my novel    😀

10.  Shelley Winters  (A Patch of Blue)  In this one, she played a  HO  I WANTED to slap!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAK4iYYcHg8

9.    Barbara Stanwyck    (Double Indemnity)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Z-JiVSVrpo&feature=related

8.    Dame Judith Anderson (Rebecca)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxO68PacfxE&NR=1

7.    Glenn Close  (Fatal Attraction)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZHe3GYQp_8

6.    Al Pacino  (Scarface)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZRKGHB8GxQ

5.    Jack Nicholson  (The Shining)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7JB68sLGY8

4.  Farah Fawcett (Small Sacrifices)   ***An actress that didn’t get the recognition I feel she deserved!  This actress played this bitch to the hilt!***

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2c2fAhYkqI&feature=related

3.   Ben Cross (Dark Shadows 1991)  Ben Cross as Barnabas!  And he was the best frigging  Barnabas too! The difference in this character and most “villains” is this character is not a villain by choice–but by necessity.  This character is probably the only villain I could have any empathy for because his plight is forced upon him.  However, the beast is not something he can always control. The man playing this character is, in my opinion,  the most  UNDERAPPRECIATED actor on the planet! My only regrets were that it ended after only 12 episodes–and Angelique didn’t get HER butt kicked!  If you watch these episodes,  Ben tempered that character  just enough to make him realistic to an audience that used to run home from kindergarten to watch the original Dark Shadows with Jonathan Frid! As much as I loved Frid as a child, this guy made that part his own. In doing so, the bar got raised too high for anyone who follows in my opinion.  Not even Johnny Depp could pull it off.  Sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_zoTfRmm9o

I definitely wouldn’t want to be on his bad side after watching the clip in that link!

2.     Bette Davis (Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?)–*Just to note–when she played a bitch–she played it right!*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTtpDwrKaxo&playnext=1&list=PLE42FFF75FF785B0D

She should have received an Oscar for this one!

1.    Anthony Hopkins  (Silence of the Lambs) ***Need I say more here?!***

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMVqIISyp60&playnext=1&list=PL260A1CBFB75E6CF4

Honorable mentions:  Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight),  Faye Dunaway (Mommy Dearest),  Elizabeth Montgomery (Amos), Ricardo Montalban (The Wrath of Kahn) , Bruce Dern (Silent Running), Cherlize Theron (Monster), Powers Boothe (Guyana Tragedy:  The Story of Jim Jones), Patty McCormack (The Bad Seed) and Chuck Connors (Roots)

I know that a lot won’t agree with my list and that is fine…Like I said, these are my picks…I think every blogger should make a list of SOME sort.  There is a common thread I noticed between Ben Cross and Anthony Hopkins.  They have very intense eyes…That is one thing I notice when an actor plays a part–if the character is “in the eyes” and they can both pull that off without a hitch.   A lot of younger actors cannot pull that off today.

An New Way to Get those ABS OLD SCHOOL Style! GET YOUR HOOP ON BABY!

Not the cake! The hula hoop!

Are you tired of spending countless bucks on ab workouts that do not work? Well this is for you! Do you hate going to the gym?  Do you hate going to dance classes and getting in trouble for other people?  Well, if you have just a few bucks, you can walk into any Wal~Mart store and invest in a hula hoop!  That is right!  That simple invention will work your abs AND your hips, that’s for sure.  It may have seemed to be easy to do as a child, but try doing it today and you’ll definitely feel it, folks!

I really do think that this craze will make a comeback–especially among the youth! Why?  If these guys are doing it, you can bet others will start getting back into the craze again!  I also suggest investing in a GOOD jump rope.  All those little things we did as kids to keep out of our parents’ hair actually had great physical benefits!  We  definitely got our cardio, that’s for sure!  This is great for a fun activity,  but for more serious working out–other options are much more logical…

Even this crowd is doing it!

Now if you would like something that is much more adult oriented–as in a real workout program with great benefits, then please email me @ bahpofficer@yahoo.com!   I can definitely hook you up with anything from Hip Hop Abs to my personal favorites–Insanity and Brazil Butt Lift!  P90X is a favorite that a lot of people like to get, but if you need something less intense, I would suggest Chalean Extreme or (if you prefer more cardio) Turbo Jam or Turbo Fire.  If you want a faith-based program, I suggest Body Gospel.  You can also check out my page on the links section  in my profile and get those programs there!  It’s under “my BB page”.  I also have a bio there showing my results.

I lost 30 lbs. in 40 days using the Insanity program so I have some bragging rights! Brazil Butt lift is good too–once you stop laughing at yourself! Check it out and you will  know what I am talking about!

The Facebook Page that turned me around…

The weekend is coming and I know a big change is coming for me as well.  I can’t say “what” or “how” I know–but this feeling is never wrong!  I started working for the Texas Department of Criminal Justice in 2006.  I went there because I wanted to make a difference and since I have left it, I’ve been told that I have, so leaving it made me feel a  lot better about my decision to leave it.  When I became a supervisor it wasn’t long before I saw problems with the pecking order on my unit.  Therefore, I have no regrets. 

When I was younger, I hid in my room a lot.  I didn’t go out as a teenager much (if at all) and when in college, I wasn’t that much of a social creature either.  What made me that way is a long story which I won’t go into, but I avoided theaters and concerts for the most part.  I did watch old movies with my father or my mom…To me those films represented an era that I could only ever dream of being a part of.  My childhood was a rather turbulent one, which I won’t detail here–but it led to my attitude.

I was keeping company with my teachers more than my peers because, quite frankly,  kids my age drove me nuts.  I could not see the logic in some of the stuff that went on as far as my peers go.  Besides I hated cliques with a purple passion.  Therefore, I kept few friends and I trusted very few people.  I don’t get invitations to class reunions either because I became more free with my opinions. I do not think anyone is better than anyone else, but I detested how they formed cliques and treated others who weren’t “pretty” or “athletic”–and was quick to let them know it…  

I was also bullied quite a few times.  Once by a coach who made a comment about how women don’t “usually go around shooting themselves because they don’t want to mess up their looks”.  The whole class waited for my reaction since I had just come back after missing school due to my stepmother committing suicide when I was 14.  I damned near quit school then.  Had my dad been less stubborn about wanting me to finish, I would have quit rather than deal with anymore BS. They said this coach was out-of-town and such so he just wasn’t informed,  but he worked for DPS in a neighboring county–where her body was found–so I find it hard to believe to this day sometimes.  However, me being me, I dropped it and took the high road–literally.  I picked up my pen and furiously created more worlds and killed more bullies there than anyone would ever want to know about.  I also ended up in the counselor’s office for things I’d pull or write…

I goto picked on all through school and took the high road. One day a boy in the Junior class saw me writing furiously and asked me “Who are you going to kill today?”  Look at this pic below…I swear it’s how I looked only I had black eyeliner on too…I simply looked at him rather coldly and said, “I dunno…Maybe you.”  Five minutes later I was in the counselor’s office again.  He laughed because he knew I made that kid sweat bullets.  He also saw through my front and knew it was my way of telling them all to screw off.  Anyway here’s the pic:

Now picture this: JET BLACK hair, dark red lipstick, black eyeliner and eyebrows--and the Uma Thurman "I'm gonna kick your ass look" and you'll have my look from 1980 when my Dad wasn't watching...

 

And people I grew up with  wonder WHY he didn’t like for me to go around ANYWHERE when payday hit!  In 1981, he wouldn’t even let me go see “Chariots of Fire” so like a bonehead, I sneaked out at 8 o’clock–when he  passed out…I went to the mall of Abilene and blew my paycheck on clothes and he never noticed.  I stayed pissed for three years because he wouldn’t let me go see the “Rocky Horror Picture Show” or “The Sex Pistols” too…AC/DC was definitely out of the question…To him, they were all devil worshippers…Hmm…I was a devil myself when I got mad back then.  Read the bullying blogs about what a few girls and I had to deal with and how we stopped that problem for us…

I wasn’t a violent kid, but I knew when and how to fight back.  I stayed reclusive for years.  I went to church and went home.  I didn’t go to theaters or anything for a very long time after graduation.  I may have went once or twice in the 80’s and once in the 90’s.  I hated “Star Wars” but loved “The Wrath of Khan“.  In fact I think in the late 80’s or early 90’s I saw “Pet Cemetary” at the insistence of my ex.  I never went again after that unless nagged and for those I slept through them and pissed my sister off.  I love her but I hated theaters.  They are just too damned loud most of the time.  Now I carry cotton to put in my ears.  I can hear it in normal mode then…Here are a couple of stills from the best damned movies from the 70’s that I did go to AND liked:

You can't say crap about the 1970's without mentioning "Billy Jack"...This trilogy had a lot to do with my outlook later on...He STOOD for something good!

                                                                                    

And this one was simply FREAKING FUNNY!

 

Well as I said, I skipped Chariots of Fire in 1981–the year I graduated from High School.  I went to college and marched in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City that year.  It was also when I got to go to Radio City Music Hall and see what was behind the Christmas pageant backstage–live animals and such.  I then realized that the trip was for the sponsors and not us…We were told that we had to go to some other attraction.  I said, “Screw that! I’ve been up since 3 a.m., marched that parade route in 18 degree weather twice and have been out all damned day! I’m going back to the hotel first chance I get!”  I ducked away from my group near the hotel and started to double back.  I bought a pretzel and asked a woman where I could find a place where it was nice and quiet.  She pointed to St. Patrick’s Cathedral. I promise you I stayed in that slice of Heaven for an hour.  I missed my hiding place on the roof of the garage where I could stare up at the stars and just simply wind down.  I was also very, very tired.

I went to the hotel and went to my room and crashed.  None of the chaperones or the band director realized I wasn’t there.  😀  I got back home 3 days later and was relieved to be there.  Shopping at Macy’s and such was fun, but I just wanted to go home.  My birthday was November 25 and I wasn’t home for that either.  After that–I went right back to recluse mode.  One might think I’d have enjoyed that experience being out in “the world” for once, but I still feared dealing with crowds and such–and made myself go.  I was pressured to sing in choir too and hated that.  I don’t know why, because they liked it, but not me.  I almost ran off that year to California  to join a punk rock band. 

Instead I went through 2 bad marriages, had 3 kids, got a degree, etc…I also became worse when it came to being reclusive.  I trusted no one–especially NON family members.   In 2006 I went to work at a prison…Strangely enough, I felt “safe” there.  Why I do not know.  I had a knack for calming offenders down and dealing with some BS.  But I realized after becoming a sergeant and a failed relationship that I was slipping back into my recluse mode.  I wouldn’t even go home when I was off.  I hated being around people. I still have trouble with it.  My sister and my mother can’t understand it, but my Grandmother did. I told her EVERYTHING…Now she was gone. 

Anyway I got bored to shit one night.  I was going bat shit crazy at 3 a.m.–working out and such.  I got to thinking about things I used to watch when I was a kid and started surfing the internet.  I came across hulu.com and Adam-12…I got a kick out of watching that.  Then I started playing around looking for more shows I watched when I was a kid.  I saw “Dark Shadows” on there.  I didn’t realize I’d clicked on a remake, and almost started to surf again, until I realized the first episode was a movie.   I couldn’t freaking believe it!  This show was DAMNED good!  Then I started paying attention to the cast in it…I noticed an actor named “Ben Cross”. 

I talked to an old classmate on Facebook and asked her if she ever heard of this guy–like a dumbass.  She said, “That’s the guy in “Chariots of Fire”–you know, that movie our group went to see at graduation and your dad wouldn’t let you go so you decided to be a shithead and go to Abilene without us?”  My first response was “The What of the What?” because I called her while I was half-awake.

“Oh…Yeah…I remember now.”  I told her.  I only preferred older movies until I saw this.  I felt–and still feel it was well acted and such and it reminded me of other stuff I would watch–even though I wanted to kick Angelique’s ass–and always did–even when I watched the original in kindergarten.  I viewed her as a bully. I still do.  Ben made Barnabas bad ass!  As much as I loved Jonathan Frid as a kid–I really liked how he made his version of the vampire a bit more realistic. 

From there a chain reaction began.  I later found his Facebook page.  Then I saw a link to a site on his page that said “flaurena” and started getting jewelry from there.  It didn’t click that this was his daughter at first, but she made pieces (custom pieces) for me that reminded me of where I came from.  I began looking into my family tree and my Native American heritage as a result.  Hell I think she probably knows more about what I’m thinking than I do when I get her to make pieces for me!  Here is picture of one of them:

Well I can't rotate it, but take note of the circle and the feathers...Then the colors. I wear this when I go to the mountain to meditate a lot too...

I promise you it is much prettier in life than in pictures.  Sorry I can’t rotate the thing!

 

I quit my job at the prison as I said earlier and returned to teaching in 2010, but I also buy a lot of  Ben’s work.  The brat pack really didn’t do much for me, but I know if I had gone to COF then, I would have liked it.  I have a much more positive view of the world now–and am much better for it.  I also found my purpose.  If it had not been for finding that link on hulu.com, I would still be in recluse mode–shutting out the world.  I get out more now and explore things now.  It’s as if I am enjoying a life now I couldn’t seem to get when I was younger–but I am much better for it.  I am also a lot wiser. 

 

More importantly, I picked up a pen again–but I am not using it to escape from the world and kill off the bullies, I am using it to try to make a difference as these small things have made in my life.  I am grateful that they are around, and I am grateful to my teachers because they have been in my corner all these years and I never realized it until I began talking to them.  They gave to me.  It’s time for me to give back.   And these two people were the ones that helped me get my head out of my ass after all these years and start doing something different with my life.  If you are in a rut now, I hope you find your way out too…Have a great weekend!

 

I really am grateful to have come across them…Sometimes I call them the “father-daughter tag team”…LOL 

 

 

That father-daughter tag team I get a kick out of!

 

 

My next goal is to get to Peru or Costa Rica–whichever I can get to first! 

Peace Beyond the Cage–and Thank God It’s FRIDAY!!!

“Peace is not the absence of conflict.  It comes from the ability to cope with that conflict.”–From “The Wind is  My Mother” by Bear Heart

I don’t understand how it can be that some people seem to have this “shiny-happy-people” existence while others seem to muddle through life via one cage after another–some of them of others’ making and some of them of their own making.  

If I take a good look at Bear Heart’s comment above, it makes me come to one of those “apocalyptic epiphanies” that nobody has the “shiny-happy-people” life unless they are on some serious anti-depression medication or are just pretty damned lucky.  Then you’ve got people (like yours truly) who have somewhat of a mixture–kicking down the bars to each cell I get thrown into one bar at a time.

Every moment of my life has had conflict in it.  I’ll take it in literary terms here…Most often in my cell (about which I will one day finish writing a novel) I had to endure man vs. man, man vs. self and man vs. environment.  I’ve had to fend off bullies, deal with five stepmothers that I know of–(I stopped keeping track of Dad’s nuptials when I was 18).  I’ve had to deal with arctic blizzards with kids in tow, man vs. society–because there is no such damned thing as “normal” because that word gets redefined every 20 years or so.

It’s bad enough that all results of Historical significance can be boiled down to 4G’s–and I don’t mean money or drugs…I mean THE 4 G’s:  God, Greed, Gold and Gold-Diggers…Stop and think about this for a second…WHY did the Spaniards listen to Dona Maria and kill off whole ethnic groups of people?  Get it yet?  Then under “greed” there is a lust for power.  Hitler and Stalin had it.  Mussolini had it, Chairman Mao had it, Kim Jong Il DOES have it and so does Iran’s leader.

Has anyone on here sat and REALLY read “The Communist Manifesto“?  IF one did, then he/she knows communism can never truly work because Marxism in its PUREST form sounds more like living in a hippie commune.  It looks good on paper but got bastardized by those who wanted to use that writing for their own gain in much the same fashion that the Bible was used in trying to justify “The Crusades“.  However one can easily decipher why pure communism (under Marx’s ideal–which no communist nation follows) will not work:  It is because it is designed around an idea that humanity does not have the inherent traits of greed and lust for power.  As long as anyone remains that could cause conflict over greed and power, it can NEVER truly work for a sustainable time.  It is those at the top of the food chain that will ultimately bring it down. Why?  Because everybody wants to rule the world!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST86JM1RPl0

There is one thing people can do to help bring about peace in our world and it starts by finding inner peace.  How can one be at peace at the world when one is not happy with his/her own life?  It’s simple.  Accept things you have absolutely no control over and look for ways to find a positive in a negative situation.   Let the rest of the world pursue whatever they want of the “4G’s” but be content with what you have.  There are people worse off than we are.  IF you don’t believe that today, then turn on the news channel and look at Japan.

Ultimately we have NO control over tomorrow until it arrives, and we have no control over yesterday so the here and now is what we have to work on.  We need to get rid of some of the things we were programmed into being.  I know of a song called “Ain’t That Unusual” by the Goo Goo Dolls.  One particular line strikes a chord with me:  “…All we are is what we’re told and most of that’s been lies…”   Why would that be true?  It is true when we’ve let other people dictate our lives for us instead of choosing our own way–and in order to be out of that cage, we have to forge our own path in life.  No one can live our lives for us. Trust me…If they could, I’d let them have mine–bad credit rating and all…I’m sure there aren’t many who will disagree with that one either!

A sense of humor is also key.  Many people seem to let themselves be weighed down about circumstances not realizing that most of the minor circumstances that tick us all off are things we should by laughing hysterically about.   Why?  They too shall pass.  Now if one is an intellectual, or a pseudo-intellectual, then this is a song that might just cheer you up a bit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_WRFJwGsbY

After all, I don’t know many people who the Monty Python cast can’t crack up!  And for those who celebrated St. Patrick’s Day in an intellectual light, I am sure that it will make you forget life’s circumstances–at least for a little while.  Anyway today of all days should be one during which we all bust out of the cage for a bit and let our hair down long enough to have a good time–especially since it is Friday!  We can worry about the plight of humanity into oblivion on another day!

And for those of you who will party and partake of the dram tonight, this is what you’ll be singing in the morning!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oUr19aVUCU

Can you tell I watch Star Trek?  LOL!  I hope you had a great St. Patrick’s Day, folks! I just kicked down another bar in the cell! I hope you have a smile on your faces now!  I know I do! I’m going to enjoy another evening out under the moon tonight!  The weather is great, the breeze is warm and I simply cannot wait to get back to my mountain next week!

What a beautiful sight tonight!