Facts About Life: 101

I  have not been on a lot but if you think your life is going bad, you need to remember that there is someone out there somewhere who is having a worse go of it than you are. We have to find our own solutions to these dilemmas we go through.

Right or wrong, life is about learning. Once you become unteachable–than you are going to find that you are not only a little fish in a huge pond, but you will find yourself standing alone, stuck at the starting line instead of moving forward in this race called life. You can learn much from anyone around you, but you have to be willing to adapt and accept some changes along the way. If you cannot do this, you will not get very far down the track…

Think about it the next time someone tries to show you something you could do differently. Offering solutions is not designed to hold you back, it’s to help you toward your goal in the end. Change is something anyone has to consider from time to time. In fact we should embrace it, and not fear it, but to learn to adapt to it. If it is something that absolutely cannot work, then we should work together to change THAT, face the problems head-on and not run away. Don’t be closed to the idea of it. You are only hurting yourself if you do. This is lesson 101 in “Facts About Life”.


So the question is, how far are you willing to go? This is a new year–a new beginning. Do not let yourself get trapped inside the “box” thinking. Thinking outside of the box will actually help you–not hurt you.  It all goes back to a question I posed a few years ago to a colleague: “What kind of leader do you want to be?”  A good leader is always “teachable and willing to learn”.

Political Correctness Truly Defined (Part 3)

In this part I will focus on an aspect of political correctness that needs to be addressed in society as a whole. It is how members of our society try to force the entertainment community to conform to their own expectations, freedom be damned.  I am referring to people who have a compulsion to condemn an artist for the words he or she writes or speaks.

On one hand, it would seem legitimate on the surface to condemn someone for remarks they feel are cruel and insulting toward political figures and other celebrities based on things they cannot help. The problem with this point of view is that it is often a delusion. Most people in the public eye put themselves there and they don’t care what those who oppose them think. In fact, they don’t even watch or hear those views, so for someone to rise up to the defense of someone they do not even know and try to crush the career of such a person seems to be rather pointless because their fans are loyal. Short of a national scandal, the audience will not abandon those they adore either.

However, when one stops to think about it, the question that needs to be asked is “Why is this of concern to them?”  In the first part of this series, I referred to Joan Rivers’ outspoken humor.  For many her humor in later years was not well-received by some people,  yet her fame continued to rise like a meteor. I can explain why that is.  She represented another generation entirely. It was as if in the present, anything resembling America of the past is becoming unacceptable by modern members of society. The fact of the matter is that many still keep those  values that old America held dear and there seems to be a move to revert to some of those values in light of recent world events.

If that happens, there is no need to go into an uproar over it.  Everything happens in a continuous circle of change. Some things progress and at times they reverse themselves.

However there seems to be a need among some people to take to social media to try to chide or “correct” or discourage the behavior of an entertainer–whether that entertainer be a comic, actor, actress or musician and it comes from both sides of the political spectrum. “I think you’re picking on the president and/or his wife based on appearance, race, way of speaking, etc….”  the list goes on.  Often these people demand total silence from anyone who opposes the policies of the current political leaders in this country. They will attack fans who support them, and often throw up insult after insult on their fan pages. This is especially true on Facebook.   However when those of opposing view were in power, those who agreed with that point of view could care less what was put up about them–yet the opposition made the same jokes and such. Why? They realize it is pointless to try to battle over something nobody has any real control over.

Quite frankly, when it comes to entertainment and the arts, Voltaire had the right idea about all of it–“I may not agree with everything you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”

There will always be an audience for performers who have a fan base no matter how great or small. Most of those complaining are not fans of the acts and never were. When they start spewing vitriol, it only tells those that they are being hypocritical because on many of those pages they have to “like” the page of the person they are condemning in order to make a comment, and then they will post vitriol until they realize it does no good due to the fact that they are big fish in a little pond, OR until the admins of the pages ban and remove them. This is also true on the political pages.

If they keep trolling after that, then it is because they have a need to make themselves heard–just like an artist or politician that they are condemning. Taken in that sense, one could say that they are in the same club…Or can they? Either way, it shows those who think outside of the box how as a society, America has become well-known for its double standards.

Some fans even resort to attacking the fans for liking an artist.  Those are the ones who make fools of themselves by trying to win them over to their point of view when it absolutely will NOT happen. This is also true of people who support one person or another on the political pages. Ironically, in trying to box the fans and/or supporters of a person or group into a corner they end up putting themselves in one and it makes them look like they are true bullies, rather than intelligent human beings capable of conducting civil discourse.

By the same token, those who dislike an artist and/or the material in question have a right to express those views as well. They get enough of a bashing from those who aren’t fans for their behaviors that the opinion doesn’t make a difference. I have actually seen non-fans of artists support people that they are NOT fans of and defend them against trolls as well. Everyone has opinions and we all know what opinions are like.  I will not let either extreme dictate what they think I should or do not do. They do not live my life, I do. They don’t answer for my actions. I do. By the same token so do other entertainers, writers and politicians of all views and they should also bear these things in mind rather than take them personally. My father had a better piece of advice on such matters, and most have heard this before, “Consider the source.”

Besides all the above there is one basic fact of life that every entertainer or writer on Earth has learned one way or another and that is the fact that no one can please everyone, so why sweat bullets over it?


The Power of the Discretionary Veto & Why Rosemary Lehmberg Should Have Resigned

Has anyone ever heard of this? I have…I learned it in Government 101 class when I was in college. When a public official has veto power, whether it is the President of the United States or the Governor of any of the 50 states, it means that he or she can veto any bill before him/her, or any bill with funding in it at his/her discretion for any reason. Period.  That should be the end of the story but it is not.

Before I go any further, watch the entire video. It’s long but I feel it important to tell the story from start to finish:


This is the entire video surrounding the story of Rosemary Lehmberg. If you do not know WHO she is, you will soon enough. She is the District Attorney of Travis County, TX.  This is the same public official who would like to be trusted with taxpayer funding to run a “public integrity” unit. As you see in the video, she has no integrity.  Why would anyone trust her with taxpayer funding after the acts seen on this video?

This is why she indicted Rick Perry. He doesn’t trust her–and he shouldn’t.

Now back to the power of the governmental veto. As I have stated, I have always been taught that this is discretionary. The president (regardless of party) and countless governors have vetoed laws and funding for many reasons at their own discretion. This is true whether the item in question is attached to other items on a bill that the voters do not want passed into law, or (as in this case) there is a question as to the integrity of the official about how the funding is to be used when such funding is requested.  After watching the video of the arrest, I would strongly question her ability to run an “integrity unit”.

As a public official, she is responsible for the for prosecution DUI cases.  Her arrest will, without a doubt, cause many of the DUI cases prosecuted by this office to come under judicial review if it can be proven that she was too lenient  in her prosecution of them.  Family members of victims can have this investigated. This is especially true of a case where she failed to get an order to seize the passport of a young lady named Evelyn Mezzich. If you have Facebook, you can read about that case here:


That entire debacle could have been prevented if she had simply gone to a judge and asked for an order to seize her passport since she was a flight risk and a death was involved. As a result, Ms. Mezzich escaped to Peru. She cannot be prosecuted because the current treaty with Peru was not in place until later. Ms. Lehmberg was grossly negligent in her prosecution of this particular case.  As a result, there has been no justice for Lindsay Brashier, who lost her life far too soon…

That being said, I wonder how many other cases were botched by this office?  The assistant DA was also busted for DUI…I’m wondering if any of those cases will be reviewed being that Ms. Lehmberg obviously feels that driving drunk is not that big of a deal. I know where I stand on it–she should not be in office. Too many people get killed by people, who like her, are stupid enough to get behind the wheel while they are drinking.

Now back to my point, which is this:  This woman made a mess of the office to which she was elected by her outrageous public behavior and she has misused her own office to attempt to rewrite the laws of the State of Texas. This indictment is not only outside of the realm of law, it is an abuse of her own power as a District Attorney–something for which she should have her license to practice law revoked.  The way she conducted herself at the time of her arrest should have least brought that issue up since she threatened the arresting authorities after being taken to jail.

Needless to say, Judge Jeanine Pirro  called this one right.  Here is what she had to say about it:


It doesn’t matter if one likes or hates FOX news, this woman is right on the money when it comes to this issue.  Rick Perry was well within his rights on this matter, and therefore, I support him on the issue. Special thanks to those who shared the Pirro link with me. I was impressed!

We Still Have Then but All We Need is Now…

In 1982, I gave birth to my son, Eric…I had him on my 20th birthday in fact–and even though there are times when the old grouch gets pissed off, he’s still the best birthday present I ever had.   I didn’t give a damn about the politics of the day. I didn’t give a damn what people thought of me too much then–and still don’t…Gee…I wonder where 2 of my kids get that from? I’m smiling sheepishly as I remember those days…I liked bowling, dancing, walking about and above all–writing and listening to music.

While 1982 was a banner year, it was also a year of loss. Hell, we lost Marvin Gaye. Now with all the crap going on, “What’s Going On?” really comes to mind here…Forget the “Sexual Healing” bit…He got a lot of accolades for that one but I still say “What’s Going On?” is one of his best.

I can say a lot about 1982 right now…first it was a “Thriller”…. 1982, I was so “Caught Up in You”.  I loved it loud then, and “I Love It Loud” now.  I wonder if “Jack and Diane” ever got into saying “If You Want My Love” to each other?  If they did, maybe it was in the “Heat of the Moment”.

I do know if they had tried to pass the Patriot Act in 1982 there would have been a loud “I Can’t Go For That” being screamed in D.C.  Has anyone ever figured out what the “Young Turks” needed to be free from yet? Just wondering.  However as far as men and women go, I haven’t heard anyone trying to use “I’ve Been Waiting for a Girl Like You” as a  pick up line in a bar yet…

We have learned that it is best to take the advice Rick Springfield gave us…”Don’t Talk to Strangers” because serial killers do not make it “Hurt So Good” now do they?  Funny how when we were young we didn’t seem to worry about too much of that stuff, or did we?  Well I know I didn’t.  I do know that my exes were never “Always on My Mind” when I got enough balls to say “Goodbye to You”.

Well whatever went on in “Allentown”–it wasn’t “Sexual Healing”…Hedonism was the furthest thing from the imagination in that part of the country as well, I think.  However, there was some “Tainted Love” going on until someone decided to “Shake It Up” a bit when they found out their sweetheart was the “Centerfold”–that is, until someone younger came along and the agent said “Abracadabra” and that model got replaced by a younger one a few years later…

Some also said “I Ran Away” because it was “Hard for Me to Say I’m Sorry”.  I can fully prove that was a lie. I just opted for the “Thriller” of a time when someone asked “Don’t You Want Me”? I said no and then turned back to my ultimate love at the time…I mean, most who know me will be the first to tell you that “I Love Rock N Roll”–which left “Rosanna” slightly perplexed as in counseling, she thought I wanted to be a writer and not a rock star.

In music, there was always harmony between “Ebony and Ivory”–until the hair bands told everyone else to “Beat It”. So what did the rest of us young fools do? We went to “Rock the Casbah” while possessing the “Eye of the Tiger”!  We got so “Physical” in that fight that we left “Billie Jean” perplexed and lying in the dust!

And after that fight, we were “Hungry Like the Wolf”….

Well that was a long time ago. And now that I’ve compiled this morbidly insane  list from ONE video  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAGYIvg1FHk  in order to complete this writing exercise, with the exception of “Hungry Like the Wolf”– which is included because, quite simply, I know it came out in 1982, I hope you enjoyed this ridiculous trip down memory lane since I was under immense “Pressure” to hurry up and get it done prior to going to bed…By the way, “Pressure” by Billy Joel is not in the video either which surprises me because it was a damned good song!   I should know…I didn’t forget my birthday that year or the fact I gave birth to Eric then!

However, in the present “All You Need is Now”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X3O4PCP5MM     In fact, that is all I need too.  Have a great night!

A Club Nobody Wants to Join…

I have been down for the past 2 days.  Depression over losing a child 28 years ago set in and it will pass, but what brought it on should not surprise anyone.  A friend of mine lost her daughter two days ago. She was waiting for a heart transplant. It is quite different to lose an older child but the pain is the same for us both.  We will never get to see our children’s “what might have been” and there will always be an empty space at the table.

For a while people seem empathetic and will listen to us. They will allow us to cry on their shoulders for a bit, but if they have never been in this unique club, there comes a day when they stop listening and we are left to deal with the wreckage alone. They do not know how to deal with our pain so they say things like, “You need to get over it.” or “You need to come back to the living.’  Well god forbid they ever have to join the membership of this club because then they will know the reality of the situation. Some even go so far as to say “You can have another child.” OR “You have other children.” Excuse me, but NO CHILD replaces a lost child. One can have 10 more children after and they still mourn the one that is lost. Believe me…I KNOW this for a fact.

Every would-have-been birthday is greeted with the utmost dread.  Every Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc…is greeted with thoughts of “what might have been”. In short, losing a child is a pain we never recover from–we just learn to deal with it in our own way.  To this day I cannot attend funerals of children/babies.  It literally tears me to fucking  pieces and nobody understands why. It is simple–it brings up my pain that I am still dealing with after 28 years and I feel so bad for the other parent(s) because having been a long-standing member of this god forsaken club, I know what they are in for in the long run.

If you want to help or understand a grieving parent, try not saying anything. Just listen. Wipe our tears when they come. Whatever you do, don’t say things like those mentioned above. While well-meaning they actually cut like a bloody knife.  I apologize for my language earlier but I am NOT having a good day today. I don’t know if I will have a better one tomorrow either, but at least I have a pillow to cry on and can be there for my friend as she needs me.


Yes, People Kill People But….

Look, I do not talk about this a lot. Yes, I DO support the right of EVERY law-abiding citizen to own a gun, but mental health in this country has to be addressed.  I’m not into all this gun grabbing crap a lot of people are trying to push for,  but I see nothing wrong with flagging people who have severe behavioral disorders from getting a gun. If people are arrested for domestic violence, robbery, assault, etc…they should automatically have their guns confiscated also until found not guilty–and if found guilty, they should not be returned to anyone in the household, but sold to cover costs incurred by the county and/or state.

I do not agree with the extreme left on this issue because they give off a perception that they do have a goal to take ALL guns away, or at least many of them do. However, these violent groups of people have to be dealt with.

I do not think it is that much to ask for. I’m not advocating limitations on all guns or gun sales, just to individuals who have such records.

Had such a system been in place in the 1970’s my stepmother might not have blown her brains out when I was almost 15. Was she mentally ill? Yes. We found out AFTER her death that she had been institutionalized. Her favorite thing to do when my dad was at work was to point that .22 that she killed herself with and put it to my temple as her method of “discipline” which was nothing more than terrorism in my home.

To this day, people, I can still feel the cold end of that gun at my temple. Sometimes I wake up dreaming about it. It was only after she died that I realized that this wasn’t just a surrealistic nightmare I lived in, but that she could have, at any moment, blown my brains out and anyone else’s in the house too.

Unless you lived through it, I know you can’t relate to it and more went on than that, which I will not discuss. Funny thing is I didn’t really realize what “normal” was until I got around “normal families” that sat at the table together and such after her death. I grew to pity her. Hopefully, she is at peace. I forgave her long ago, and despite the nightmares I have once in a while, I can still feel pity for her and understand that she could not help herself–but that the state failed to help her a long, long time ago.

I will say this much for those who have gone through something like this at the hands of a mentally ill relative or person close to your family. What helped me was to forgive her. Once I did that, the nightmares gradually happened less often, and became less intense. I actually stood over her grave about seven years ago and told her that I forgive her. Anyway, I hope that does help someone out there. I know forgiving her did help me.

Affluenza + Defense = I Smell It Hitting the Fan in Texas

Yes everyone, here I go again…I am PISSED…Majorly PISSED that any judge in my state could get duped the way this one did.  Could someone explain to me what judge in their right mind would let ANYONE go who went out, got drunk, and plowed into 4 pedestrians, killing them?  One of the friends in his truck can no longer move or speak.  The other was severely injured…THIS means 6 people got hurt–not including family members who are devastated by their losses.

I will be surprised as hell if the verdict isn’t set aside. I don’t want to hear this bullshit from the defense attorney that the judge gave the best “possible sentence” given the defense used.  Well wait until you hear what the expert who testified for this kid said! This is a doozy!  However, let’s go back to where it all began and go step by step so that everyone understands why this case REALLY pisses me off as a mother…Look at Brianna Mitchell’s mother (Marla Mitchell) and Eric Boyles in this clip below. Please explain to me how ANY competent judge can let this slide like this when this kid has had problems BEFORE this after seeing how heartbroken they are, and will be until the day they die?  And what about that youth pastor‘s family?  His name was Brian Jennings. These were living, breathing human beings that had a future ahead of them and they deserve a hell of a lot better than what they got in court this week!

Now here is the clincher…The defense says HE IS A VICTIM…Bullshit! This Affluenza Defense is no more valid than the Twinkie Defense. This kid should be doing time like everyone else would be!  If the parents didn’t hold him accountable for his actions before now in all these years, the judge should have grown a damned  pair and said, “Well it’s time you learned what real consequences are! You took FOUR lives, Ethan Couch! FOUR LIVES!  You are old enough to KNOW right and wrong. Ignorance of law is certainly no excuse or reason for you! FOUR people will never see their families again! Four people will never hug their family members, share another Christmas or Thanksgiving with their families.  This defense called “Affluenza” simply means that you were a spoiled brat that got away with far too much! Well not this time!  I’ll be damned if I let you walk out of here and kill anyone else on my watch! Not only that, you destroyed your OWN family with your stupid actions! Are you proud now? Do you think this is funny or cool? Well try this one Ethan Couch–!”  Then he would have received a minimum of 20 years flat-time!  Not that it would bring the victims back but this kid would finally know what it’s like to get his ass handed back to him on a freaking platter!

I personally want to know why in the state of Texas, which today needs a serious wake up call, that there is obviously two standards of justice here? One for this kid and another for those not as “affluent”?  I’m wondering if race would have made a difference if the income and proposals were the same? Somehow I am left with reason to doubt that and I once had faith in the justice system of this state.

Anyway here is the clip.  http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/12/justice/texas-teen-dwi-wreck/

Here are the 4 victims who died and the one who remains paralyzed.

These people will never hug their loved ones again. Their lives were cut horribly short by one spoiled brat--Oh--it's called "Affluenza"--so must I be politically correct?

These people will never hug their loved ones again. Their lives were cut horribly short by one spoiled brat–Oh–it’s called “Affluenza”–so must I be politically correct? L-R: Brian Jennings, Brianna Mitchell, Hollie Boyles and Shelby Boyles (her daughter). They all stopped to help Brianna change a flat tire.

This kid was riding with Couch, but is actually, in sense a fifth victim.  He is paralyzed and communicates via blinking his eyes.

This kid was riding with Couch, but is actually, in sense a fifth victim. He is paralyzed and communicates via blinking his eyes.

I truly hope this verdict is set aside for the sake of the families and that justice is actually served. This was NOT by any means, a fair ruling. The whole defense of “Affluenza” itself was a stupid one. Even the expert who testified says now that he wishes that he had never used that term.  This is not a diagnosis that is recognized by experts anyway. I’m going to add a few more links that a reader might find of interest on this subject, but I am closing with this: Do not drink and drive. No family deserves what these families got in any way, shape or form.  Thank you.

Another link of interest:  http://www.cbsnews.com/news/affluenza-slammed-as-defense-for-wealthy-texas-teens-fatal-dwi-wreck/

And still another:  http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/rich-kid-who-killed-four-spared-jail/story-e6frf7jo-1226781114284

How Times Have Changed…

In 2014, the 3oth Anniversary of Live Aid will be celebrated, I’m sure.  1984 was a self-defining Christmas for me and for a lot of my generation because we were forced for the first time in our hedonistic generation’s existence to think about someone else in another part of the globe. The artists had the guts to put this in our faces and to this day I still respect them for it.

In recent years we’ve seen so much focus on the self among our own youth that somewhere along the road, they didn’t find that same sense of purpose–yet. It appears to me that we are so focused on ourselves and pissed about what our government is doing in this country that we’ve lost sight of ONE fact.  WE CAN CHANGE THINGS–ONE PERSON AT A TIME.  However we must start with ourselves. We can and must  lead the way for a younger generation.  We cannot leave this up to others because it is not their job to do our job. It is up to us to impart a sense of what is good and what is right into our children, our grandchildren and in a few more years–maybe our great-grandchildren.

Have a great weekend, and enjoy the video. I hope it renews the fire in your soul that we had back when were younger.



They started it all...

They started it all…


We Spend Our Lives Doing TWO things: Becoming and Dying…

I know this sounds bleak in a title, but it really isn’t. It isn’t fatalistic either.  Is it just possible that we spend so much time trying to work on others that we forget where our focus really SHOULD be? I think so. That is why I opt for brutal honesty. I know I can’t change a damned thing about the past or the future because those are two things I cannot control, but I can control how I react when put in a certain spot.

I nearly got killed tonight. No kidding. Some bonehead decided to slam his brake when NOTHING was in front of his vehicle. My son was driving and we were going the speed limit (75 mph). He swerved to the right and fish-tailed.  “Ease up on the brake and stay calm.” Shit! I don’t know how that came out of my mouth, but it did. He swerved again to the right and fish-tailed again, then over corrected. This resulted in being spun around across the freeway and landing in the median. He tried to start the car and it wouldn’t start. “Brian, put it in park.” Once he did, it ran fine. No damage to the vehicle and more importantly none to us or my dog!

I don’t know HOW I managed to stay calm during that crap, but I was shook up when it was over. I said, “Let’s get the hell out of this ditch and go home!” and we did.  It was a miracle that he didn’t hit another vehicle, and more importantly, that we are alive.  He was laughing a few minutes later, and made a comment about reliving “Too Fast and Too Furious”…

I looked at him and said, “Brian, that is not funny to me.”  I think he was just grateful that we were alive and that is how he handled being shook up.

Either way it could have turned out very differently.  Brian and I are working hard on improving from within, and then this happens. It just goes to show that in an instant, the world can be changed for our loved ones. When we got to Kevin’s house (my other son), I gave him his birthday presents and hugged my daughter-in-law and my son. I held onto my grandson for a bit as well.  Let’s just say it gave me a new perspective on things this time of year, but  in the end, are we not all born to die?

Better yet, didn’t Beckett describe it best?, “…We are all born astride a grave…”?

I’d rather die working on the person I’m trying to become, than to regret the person who is now dead that is my past being,  OR  meet my future being who might be a bit more cranky than this particular incarnation of me in the present…

And how was your weekend?


Kadja Cries When She Sees This…

Even though I am grown, the little girl in me still has her triggers.  This song is one of those triggers.  However it is an important song and every word of it rings true. I can relate to Alyssa, but I was more fortunate. I lived to tell you my story. Please do not wait until it is too late to act on behalf of a child. You might be the only voice that can reach into the right places to save a life.  Please watch the video and don’t go off on religion because what your belief system is isn’t the issue here.  The genre of music you prefer is also not the issue here.  The message of this song is an important one. It was then, and it is now.

I was abused at home and bullied at school.  I know the reality of such an existence and NO child should ever go through the things I have endured.  To this day I do not associate much with former classmates.  Why? They are triggers. They may very well be different people now, but the place and seeing them still triggers memories of a time and a place that made me stronger–but it also made me a very non-trusting individual in my later years.  Some of my classmates are friends, but there are those I avoid for a reason.