We Spend Our Lives Doing TWO things: Becoming and Dying…

I know this sounds bleak in a title, but it really isn’t. It isn’t fatalistic either.  Is it just possible that we spend so much time trying to work on others that we forget where our focus really SHOULD be? I think so. That is why I opt for brutal honesty. I know I can’t change a damned thing about the past or the future because those are two things I cannot control, but I can control how I react when put in a certain spot.

I nearly got killed tonight. No kidding. Some bonehead decided to slam his brake when NOTHING was in front of his vehicle. My son was driving and we were going the speed limit (75 mph). He swerved to the right and fish-tailed.  “Ease up on the brake and stay calm.” Shit! I don’t know how that came out of my mouth, but it did. He swerved again to the right and fish-tailed again, then over corrected. This resulted in being spun around across the freeway and landing in the median. He tried to start the car and it wouldn’t start. “Brian, put it in park.” Once he did, it ran fine. No damage to the vehicle and more importantly none to us or my dog!

I don’t know HOW I managed to stay calm during that crap, but I was shook up when it was over. I said, “Let’s get the hell out of this ditch and go home!” and we did.  It was a miracle that he didn’t hit another vehicle, and more importantly, that we are alive.  He was laughing a few minutes later, and made a comment about reliving “Too Fast and Too Furious”…

I looked at him and said, “Brian, that is not funny to me.”  I think he was just grateful that we were alive and that is how he handled being shook up.

Either way it could have turned out very differently.  Brian and I are working hard on improving from within, and then this happens. It just goes to show that in an instant, the world can be changed for our loved ones. When we got to Kevin’s house (my other son), I gave him his birthday presents and hugged my daughter-in-law and my son. I held onto my grandson for a bit as well.  Let’s just say it gave me a new perspective on things this time of year, but  in the end, are we not all born to die?

Better yet, didn’t Beckett describe it best?, “…We are all born astride a grave…”?

I’d rather die working on the person I’m trying to become, than to regret the person who is now dead that is my past being,  OR  meet my future being who might be a bit more cranky than this particular incarnation of me in the present…

And how was your weekend?

 

Nana Goes to the Sanctuary

The woman learned long ago that the words to this song hold very deep meaning for those who listen intently to it. With her pen in hand, she ventures up to her mountain again–and this time she won’t leave it until the arrows that are pulled from the quiver of her pen have found their target. The vision is there, but going deeper to get it is sometimes a challenge. It is often harder to follow through, but she will because this is a matter of finishing something–not starting anew. Some things are too important to not let the pen have its way. She learned long ago that those who should have stood by her were the very ones who stood in her way–hence the change of number and change of company. It paid off with a new gig… Have a great week! I hope you all dance…

And this is where one can find me–if one looks hard enough! 😉

And here’s a video to brighten your day…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=RV-Z1YwaOiw&feature=endscreen

 

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Meanwhile Back in the Nanahood….

It has dawned on me that I actually will have had FIVE grandchildren by the time the babies arrive. Daphne already has 3 kids.  Two daughters and a son.  I enjoy being around them and I never spoke of them before but they are really good kids! In fact, when I get paid again, I plan on spending a little time with them on my days off.  Maybe we’ll actually get to go someplace!  Who knows?

This is going to be one of the shortest posts I ever made but here’s a pic:

L to R: Jabez, Elizabeth and Dorcas on the mountain with us last summer…And they are good kids! I love having them in the family!

My impression is this: Jabez is the game whiz/bookworm even though my son tries to get him into football…Elizabeth is the athletic one and Dorcas is our girly-girl…I’ll have to introduce her to www.flaurena.com when she’s older!

Nana Gets the Double Whammy!

I am not expecting a grandchild…I’m expecting TWO!  I am a bit overwhelmed at the moment. I feel kind of torn.  All I can say is, the 2nd one will probably be here two to three weeks after the first one and I have massive planning to do…I was almost to a point where I could plan around one–but two that close together? Oh boy…I always said if it’s weird or unusual it will happen around here when I’m around…

I can get to the front of the checkout line at Wal~Mart and the power will go dead–among other things.  Can someone send me a bottle of  Hendrick’s Gin? I could really use a few mixed drinks about now…I know this much–better those girls than moi! Now I’ve got to figure out the Holidays every year all over again–and it’s going to be weird…

Then I hear the youngest really leaning toward naming his son AFTER another family member. To me this is a big no-no. I don’t go for that.  It’s just a thing with me that it seems rather silly to give a child a name they’d have to live up to–or one he or she would end up changing as an adult because he/she hates how it sounds–or he/she simply didn’t like the story behind it…  A child’s name is to be something taken very seriously. It is something they will own, and the responsibility should not be taken lightly.

I held my babies for a bit before I could even begin to come up with a name.  Then when I did, it just felt right. Sure I pondered several but the names REALLY came to me when I held them…It was the most awesome feeling to look into the child’s eyes and know I picked the right name, even though my middle son doesn’t like the meaning of his.  Oh well…Such is life. He can get over it.

Picking names for a baby is not that hard, but some people make it a chore.  I think my way is the better one.  I never needed a baby name book either….

This Time of Year is Full of Change and Memories!

Easter can be such a wonderful time for family to get together and spend time together.  When I was younger, I remember well how my Grannie Ainsworth would boil tons of eggs because when 30+ cousins and such showed up, there would be a massive Easter Egg hunt on another piece of property owned by one of my uncles…

Here is a picture of my Grannie and my Grandpa Ainsworth:

I remember as a little girl, I was a “runt”.  All the other cousins tended to push me aside or take eggs before I could get them. I remember one time, when I was about 5 or 6, my Grandpa saw me and asked me why I was crying and I told him about one of my cousins pushing me before I could get an egg from a lower hanging branch.

“Well come here!” I went to him and he picked me up and carried me to where I’d spot the eggs so that I could reach them.  One of the uncles already had gotten onto the cousin that pushed me at one point and nobody DARED say a word about Grandpa helping me either!

Before the hunt, Grannie had made a huge Easter Dinner…Chicken and Dressing…Porcupine Meatballs, which are made of BEEF–NOT Porcupine.  Here is a recipe:

Ingredients

• 1 egg
• 2 (10.75 ounce) cans condensed tomato soup
• 1/4 cup instant rice
• 1/4 cup chopped onion
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
• 1 teaspoon onion salt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1 pound lean ground beef
• 1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
• ***NOTE:  I add either 1/4 teaspoon of cayenne pepper if I want them really spicy OR about 1/4-1/2 teaspoon of chili powder! I need kick in mine and I may add BOTH!–skipping the parsley…***

Directions

1. Lightly beat egg with a fork, then add a heaping tablespoon of the soup and mix lightly. Mix in rice, onion, parsley, onion salt and pepper. Stir in the ground beef and mix well with hands. From mixture into 1 1/2 inch round meatballs.
2. Coat a large skillet over medium heat with cooking spray. Cook meatballs and brown on all sides.
3. Combine remaining soup with Worcestershire (you can increase or decrease Worcestershire to your liking), stir until smooth, then spoon over meatballs. Cover with lid and simmer for 20 to 30 minutes, stirring every few minutes.

We ALWAYS raided the meatballs until they were GONE!  Then it was Grannie’s Chocolate Cream pie–or Coconut (for me one or the other) but she made LOTS of deserts!  I also got a kick out her German Chocolate Cake too!

A lot of family traditions centered around food and while there was always plenty for everyone, sometimes someone else would show up and Grannie was more than happy to invite them in also.  I remember the times when my parents were there too.  The memories are sketchy now, but they are there.

We don’t meet at Grannie’s house any longer.  One day the house will be torn down, but the memories will never fade…It has been 11 years since we lost Grannie and about 40 years since we lost Grandpa…It doesn’t seem like it has been that long to me, nor does it seem that it has been 17 years since I lost my father.  His birthday would have been on 4/9.  I will be thinking of him a lot these next couple of days as well.

My Dad: Kenneth B. O'Neill 4/9/29-2/5/95 USAF MSGT. Retired (1972)

However, this time of year also reminds me that I shall have a new beginning as well.  I am the youngest daughter of 4 kids and will soon be a grandmother.  I often wonder what his thoughts would be on that one.  I know that I still am amazed that my youngest son, Kevin Thomas, is going to be a father himself at 23.  I have much to be grateful for.  Although he was recently hurt, he’s alright.  He’ll need surgery–but he will be around for his son and that is what matters the most.  AS this year marks a year of change and beginnings for me and my family, it is my fondest hope that all of you have a joyous Holiday with the ones you love, and may you create many memories with your children, grandchildren, parents, etc…

My son Kevin...I am grateful for every day I can speak to and spend time with him or my other two sons!

Daphne is the mother of my grandson. I am proud to have her in this family! She is a good mother and tough as nails! Hopefully, I'll get to spend time with her and all 4 kids next Easter!

This has also been a month of more great news for me! My son Eric is now Engaged! Congratulations to him and Laura…Now I’ve got two daughters who have a heck of time trying to figure me out! LOL!  ***JUST KIDDING***!    Love you all!

This is my son Eric Gates and his lovely fiancé, Laura Griffin. Has this been a year of change around here or what?!

Well, now I’m dealing with impending “Nanahood” and “In-Law Hood”!  And I know my father lives on in the eyes of my sons, and I know I’ll see a bit of him in the eyes of my grandson. These will be only a few of my thoughts as I go up to the mountain today.

Have a wonderful Easter, everyone!