I haven’t posted in a while but I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on how I want to spend the rest of my life. I managed to succeed in my first major goal of 2014 and paid off my car. My grandson is about to turn 2. Quite frankly today, I feel a bit on the old side. My joints have been killing me all day. Someone bashed my car on the driver side rear. My son took liquid nails for some strange reason, and put the red part back on the car and the light still works, but it just pisses me off that I just paid it off and someone screwed it up even worse. I hope the insurance doesn’t total it. I really don’t want another bloody car payment.
I truly long to go back to the Austin area–or even the coast. Well…I keep saying “One day I will.” but at least I met one goal so far this year. I see a lot of people with much to celebrate, but am reminded that in that same celebration, the struggle to keep afloat will follow.
My next goal is to be out of debt in 5 years. I don’t know how I’ll do it, but I will. I’m taking money from smaller debts and applying that to pay the next highest debt up. In other words, it’s a debt snowball. It does work. I also have to look at the idea that as I age, I may require care later on. Hopefully, I’ll not have to worry about it. I want to die in my sleep like my grandmother on Dad’s side did.
Yeah I know. It sounds depressing to be talking about this stuff but the fact of the matter is, I am not afraid of death or dying. I fear what I will leave behind, even though it doesn’t matter when one dies, something is always left unfinished. There is always a final “I love you” or something left unsaid.
That is why I tell my family I love them at the end of every conversation. Between my anemia and other issues popping up as a result, I am making changes in my life. First on my agenda is to get into a real place to live. I will not pay the rent in Midland and I will not part with my 15-year-old lab. I’ll live in my car first.
The rent is gouged to the point that it really pisses me off. People are living in storage rooms. I had a customer tell me and another employee that there are areas in town that remind him of the movie “The Grapes of Wrath”. I never thought about it, but he’s right. Anyway, I look for more changes this year–big changes!