Nana knows this much…

The woman never could understand why people search for that which is so hard to find unless they look within. No one needs to spend a fortune to seek these things out. One only needs to be willing to learn and experience it–and to be silent and listen. Each person must do this on his or her own–wherever their wings take them–and it is nothing to fear. And that person must patiently wait for the answer. Fear keeps many from finding their vision and sometimes looking for it through others can prevent it–especially if we become too dependent upon them. Others can guide us, but we must find our path ourselves, in our own way, in our own time. The process is part of the adventure, and it can be rewarding–and for her it has been.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JI2o-nxHd8

I have my mountain to which I run to, and it is where I find my solace but I plan to go to Sedona, AZ or to Pecos, NM for a retreat at some point. There is strength in silence and beauty in places where nature can speak to us.  That being said, I hope you all have a great weekend.

 

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Does a Broken Heart Ever Heal?

I had to ask this.  I don’t know why I am down right now, but for some reason, I went through a phase tonight where all I could do mourn for a person who died to me 2 years ago…No, he’s not physically dead but he might as well be because I have no intention of letting him back into my life.  I visualized putting flowers into the sea and watching them drift into the sea as I said, “Nevermore”.  Yes, I know that is what the Raven said, but for some reason my heart felt very heavy tonight and it surrounded  him.

A friend then urged me to call him to which I replied, “What the hell for?  There is no point.”  Well my friend says that this guy keeps asking about me.  So what?  I don’t want him back. He chose to be where he is.  He can stay there.

Then I get told, “Well you should call him.  Once you call him and the dust settles you’ll feel better.”

I felt better the day I said goodbye to him.  I will not go back  ten steps when I am moving forward and my career is going well.  To let him back into my life in any capacity would only set me backwards.  I do not need that–not now–not ever.  Had he been genuine and not leading everyone around him (including his family) with false promises and lies, it would be different.

The sun is rising on a new day and I am going to sleep now.  I will not dream of him.  Why?  He doesn’t break my heart any longer but I know that he is breaking someone else’s–but the lies he lives are his own.  So now I ask for his next victim, “Does a broken heart ever heal?”

I will also answer it here: “Yes it does. Give it time.  You’ll still think of the person once in a while, but the pain of the old relationship is not worth returning to. It will pass.  Just leave that person where he or she belongs–out of the picture of your future, which is what I had to do.  With that person there would be no future to speak of anyhow.  I know this from personal experience.”

Give yourself some TLC if you are hurting right now. You deserve the "me" time! Use that to work on healing the old wounds, folks...It doesn't matter what gender you are or whatever. Broken hearts take time to heal, and yours will...I promise you that...

Redemption

The mountain I walk on is my oasis in a desert in more ways than one. However, when I travel, I always find a new mountain. We all have to have our “sanctuary” and mine is usually outside because I stayed inside and away from people for so long. Remember that scene in “The Shawshank Redemption” where Tim Robbins is standing in the rain with his arms outstretched? That’s what happened with me when I changed my path last year, and rejoined the human race.

I had a deep seated fear of allowing myself to become involved with life in general, and was dangerously close to becoming a total recluse again. Nothing is better after spending so many years in prisons of other people’s design as a child (or of my own as an adult) than to stand outside among other people and know that there is freedom in walking among a crowd and not feeling isolated in it and forced to be there for other reasons.

Time is a precious gift–and it is best shared and not squandered.  If sharing mine makes a difference, and it is all that I can offer at the moment, then you are welcome to such as I have if we should ever meet one another. 

My current idea of "Heaven" at the moment...