Writer’s Block…Yes, Nana Had It…

Does anyone really know what “writer’s block” consists of?  I think Johnny Rzeznik summed it up best when he described it as when you think everything you write is crap even though it is not.  We all have these periods where we feel totally uninspired and cannot seem to find our “muse” or hear it when it’s trying to find us…Whatever it is, it does exist.   I have only found one cure for this. You don’t have to buy books to cure it because the books lead you only to one thing to do: KEEP WRITING!  That is right.  Even if you only do this for five minutes a day, just keep writing–even if it is in your own journal.  Sometimes economics preclude buying books anyway.

Sometimes we have a lot going on in our lives–so much that the muse has a hard time getting through to us.  If so, then it’s best to have a lighter schedule and have some “me” time when you can.  I think the big, bad writer’s block bullshit hits us when we have little to no “me” time–or “us” time when it comes to family.  I know people get really hit with it when they are depressed, but sometimes the best cure for the depression is change.  Be open to the idea of it. It may be something subtle–or a whole life-changing experience–but BE OPEN to the idea. Life has a way of changing the road that lies in front of you and it is probably for the best. Perhaps a family visit is in order, too if one hasn’t been home in a while. Sometimes that can wake up a lazy assed muse who is slacking…LOL

I write when I feel like it. Period. I have my days where I write the sappy stuff–which I don’t share because I don’t let folks see that side of me…Why?  Because that side of me is the vulnerable side and I don’t share it much. Then I have days where I totally bitch, rant rave and moan–lacing it with some absurd humor.  When I write music or stories, the rule is the same–I write what I feel and I don’t hold anything back.  It is also the greatest thing on the planet to do it that way because if I am writing a story, I can play God, base a character on someone who pisses me off (usually a bully) and either kill those types off or make them suffer! Gee, sounds like that “Rabbit” character on “Banshee” but I use a pen instead of a knife…Very therapeutic…Non fattening and the suckers who really piss me off keep breathing to get theirs another day when their crap catches up to them!  Watching that happen is the ultimate sort of vindication, I think.

Have you guys seen “Banshee” yet? Well if you’re not into nude scenes, change the channel but the story line totally kicks ass.  Every character on there has a story, a motive, a purpose…I like how they use the .gif shop and website to fill in holes rather than spend too much time on flashback scenes in the series.  It’s pure marketing genius in my book and 2.7 million viewers can’t be wrong. After all, it  is the highest rated series Cinemax has had thus far.  Innovation and ingenuity are key to its success. Plots and such are all original and not borrowed from elsewhere…I love it!

All that I Am–Still Unbroken

Today I found a plastic bowl that one of my boys stained up by using it in the microwave oven…They used something with tomato in it because I could tell by the stain.  I started to throw the thing away, but couldn’t make myself do it.  It elicited a train of though from me that I haven’t had in a long time.

People are quick to toss out things they view as “useless”.  This includes people.  People who may have had things happen to them.  Most know my story so I won’t repeat it, but sharing it has cost me a great deal. People assume that girls who go through what I endured are “damaged” and they want nothing to do with the issue .  There are those who simply wish I wouldn’t talk about it because it disturbs their comfort zone.

Oh well, so be it.  The fact of the matter is that I have decided that I have endured much of the abuse I suffered as a child because some other kid might not have survived it long enough to tell the tale.  If telling my tale helps one child, then the critics and naysayers can all quite frankly kiss my ass.

This “damaged” vessel tells kids that they should never be afraid to keep telling someone until they are listened to.  Period!

I have ended relationships because I could tell that the man I was with had a problem with how I deal with my own issues. Most of them didn’t want to “share me” anymore. They began to isolate me from family and friends and I know exactly what that leads to because my own abusers did the same thing to me as a child–so yes, I know the warning signs and I don’t fall for those lines any longer.

On the other hand, I know that one day another person will cross into my path that will realize that the person I am today is in spite of what happened to me–not because of what happened.  I could have done a 180 and became a totally cruel, sardonic bitch, but I didn’t. I did become a realist.  When a person takes the time to accept me as I am, he will have my heart–and not a minute sooner. He will encourage rather than abase me.  He will lift me up rather than knock me down emotionally.  And he will work alongside me rather than try to constantly control me.  He will let me fly rather than try to put me in his cage. In short, he won’t try to turn me into a creature that I can never be–and I will  return to him that kindness.

By the way, I didn’t toss the bowl since it will come in handy–and besides, it’s less crap for the landfill.  One of these days people will learn that ceramic bowls may break, but they are easier to clean. Once broken, you have to toss them.

That being said, here is one of the most beautiful rock ballads I’ve heard in years.  Johnny Rzeznik (of the Goo Goo Dolls) knows how to craft a lyric…I think it proper to close with this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcTnu3AWk7Q&feature=related

I will never be broken.