Good News…

The biopsy was normal. No cancer.  I still don’t know why I kept hemorrhaging. I’m on medication now–progesterone. I will know after my doctor’s appointment today what is going to be done about this freaking huge cyst on my right ovary.  I still strongly urge anyone who is advised to have the biopsy to simply do it.

I had already discussed with my family what course I would take if cancer was involved. Surgery yes–chemotherapy no.  I know people who died more quickly from the chemotherapy than the disease itself–but it is not the rate toward the demise that made me say no–it was their suffering.  Besides, I prefer to let nature take it’s course.   I feel that radiation therapy is like “fighting fire with fire”–and in the case of this, had it come to fruition, it makes no sense to me.

I told my sons if I’m meant to live I’ll live. If meant to die, then chemo or radiation won’t change the outcome anyway.  That is just my view. Realistically, it isn’t that I have a death wish. I just feel that such invasive and painful treatments would be more of a burden to my family.

Now that I got that out in the open, I will update you when I get finished at the doctor’s office tomorrow. I am looking forward to two days with my grandson soon.  Life is good, no matter what hand I am dealt. I always manage and that is what counts.

 

I Am Taking a New Direction

I have decided to educate myself on women’s issues and go head to head with doctors and such that routinely prescribe and do hysterectomies for benign conditions. I am directly affected by this because a doctor told me (without doing ANY tests) that she was going to have to give me a hysterectomy. My response was, “I don’t think so. I’m not your guinea pig.” and I was not happy about “student doctors” observing it either.  Years ago that was the ONLY option available for women my age–the logic being that according to quacks who did this is, “Well at 50 you don’t need those organs anymore.”   This is a flat-out lie from the medical profession.

The truth is, once a hysterectomy is performed a woman’s risk for heart disease jumps to 70%.  Some women experience severe personality changes, including loss of maternal instinct and libido.  Forced menopause also causes issues and makes a woman more vulnerable because she can be more prone to fractures, prolapsed organs, increased incontinence (both urinary and bowel), etc…

These are risks I am not willing to take–especially since 15 doctors were arrested last month for routinely doing these to collect insurance money. The first doctor I went to is no exception. The nurses in the ER are no better. The thyroid and pituitary gland should ALWAYS be checked to see if there is some sort of imbalance.  A cyst can usually be taken care of with meds and minimal surgical procedures.

The archaic thinking that many of these doctors have needs to be strongly addressed. There are more options and more ways to deal with issues unique to the female anatomy.  Men, you should encourage your wives and significant others to seek alternatives because a hysterectomy can lead to a myriad of problems women are simply not informed about prior to the operation. I educated myself. I got informed.  I expect the same level of care and treatment that a 25-35 year old would get–and the same options. Anything else discriminates based on age.

IN fact, it should be required that hysterectomy should only be used as a last resort in ALL cases. where no cancer is involved.

For now that is all I have to say, but I will keep everyone posted on what I learn on my journey.

 

Alright…Enough of the Stupidity

I have a huge problem with people who “aren’t good in math” being responsible for handling large amounts of money and having the authority to snoop into our bank accounts & finances. After all this crap I am convinced that anyone working for the IRS  should have to pass a literacy test AND those in high positions–a psychological exam.

The government does not want to take care of the people–it wants to control them. HUGE difference.  The biggest problem our government has is that like most of our neighbors, it has not yet learned to mind its own damned business since we sign their paychecks.  I don’t care who you marry, or what you do with your personal life, but when the government starts trying to control others at the expense of those who don’t agree with them, it can lead to tyranny and I have a huge problem with that.

And if a person is NOT an expert in the field of medicine, then he/she should not have access to ANYBODY’S medical records either.  The IRS has no business overseeing the Obamacare program–there should be a separate agency entirely made up of people who have worked a few years in the field of MEDICINE overseeing that program. Those people should also be required to have 15-20 years of experience in the field of medicine in order to get a supervisory position.

NOBODY in the IRS is qualified to diagnose medical conditions and such and therefore should not be deciding who gets care and who doesn’t.  The IRS was never meant to be an extension of governmental power over the people, and if that is what it is becoming then it should be dismantled. We have the technology to use a flat rate tax for all and deduct THAT from the paycheck anyway and the people in that outfit are obtaining far too much power. They are not law enforcement. They are not homeland security…They are, for lack of a better term, auditors and book keepers. That is where their ability lies and nowhere else.

I have a duty to let people know that this is one agency that should never wield so much power over the American People.  It is far too dangerous being that they can rob us all with the simple push of a button attached to our bank accounts.

We ARE Mothers…

There are times I get really pissed at the way the medical profession and some magazine writers try to dehumanize the experience of a miscarriage.  One article said, “…We imagine ourselves as mothers…” Oh hell no! They did not just say that! I don’t care if it is a loss at six weeks or six months–I am still a mother who has lost my child–and my ex-husband is a father who lost his dammit!

Then they call it “products of conception” or “fetal tissue”.  All I can say to any medical professional who would use that type of terminology to a woman and her partner who has miscarried is a phrase not fit for this post so I won’t repeat it here.  I lost my child. When they acted as if I did not know what I was talking about, I switched doctors. If the difference between one mother’s child is that it was a wanted one and someone else’s was not, then save the terminology for the abortion clinics and read the frigging chart before you shoot your mouth off because if it is a mom in a very emotional state you are dealing with,  she might just come unglued on your ass…IN fact, I know several mothers who lost children who would. I know I would if I endured it AGAIN and was treated as if the being  carried inside of me was not worthy of being called a “human being” but relegated to being called “products of conception” or “tissue”.

NOTE: This post is NOT about abortion. However I think a lot of the people in the medical profession try to treat this  experience like one and that is what pisses me off.  Even the old term for it (if it is not in use now) was “spontaneous abortion“.  The experience of losing a wanted child is unique and personal and should be treated with the same care and compassion as losing a loved one would be treated had it been a stillbirth–including offering referrals to counseling for couples going through this. Support groups for grieving parents who have experienced this are amazing, I think. 

Losing a child is a gut wrenching, physically painful, horrible experience regardless of what stage of gestation and if people in medical profession are trying to help us by dehumanizing the experience, they are deluding themselves.  Those in psychology tend to do the same.  It is because of this lack of consideration for those of us who go through this that I am writing this.  I know there are places out there somewhere that don’t conduct themselves in such an android like fashion when dealing with that type of grief, and I would like to know where they are. I will gladly refer people to those from this blog. As of right now, our group is unique and in a class by itself. In short, we stand alone.

Now if you have family members going through this, just listen and show some empathy.  Don’t say things like “Well, you’ll have another one someday.” or “At least you know you’re capable of having a baby.”  These are very insensitive things to be saying and it is pure bullshit.  You will alienate anyone you say that to over time if you do this–especially if the event might have left them unable to conceive. Trust me. I’ve cut people off for this.  Why? Simple. One child will never replace another.  We don’t forget the pain of losing the ones we lost and I can tell you from personal experience that even after 27 years, there is still ONE empty space at my table I think about from time to time.  In short, if you want to keep your friend, and you are not sure what to say, just be quiet…PLEASE…

This was not the only miscarriage I had, but it is the one that stands out because it is my son’s fraternal twin. It is VERY rare to not lose both, but I didn’t lose Brian. They said two weeks later when I still had morning sickness and got into it with the nurses that it was all in my head and I was NOT pregnant…They were going to send me to a psychologist. I said get the test and we’ll settle it now–among a few other choice things…Voila! I was STILL pregnant with that one and they rushed to do a sonogram.  Brian’s sac was in tact but it was considered high risk because I lost the twin. It is also very, very rare to keep one twin after losing the other–especially as early as it was.

In short, if you don’t understand it, just be willing to listen and don’t say anything.  That’s really all we need is a listening ear and a good shoulder to cry on.  You don’t know if or when a couple will be able to have another child, so it’s best not to comment one way or another on THAT issue too.