The Club Nobody Wants To Be In (Part 2)–They are Still Fathers…

This is a link to an older article which does a “Where Are they Now?” type of thing on David Smith–Susan Smith’s ex…

http://www.hlntv.com/slideshow/2013/10/09/david-smith-susan-smith-killed-sons-where-are-they-now

Having lost a child, this is a common thing to happen–where he talks about having more good days than bad,  but still having those days that bring a person to the knees…I still have them, but my son’s twin wasn’t murdered…The baby died early in the pregnancy and they insisted at the doctor’s office that I was no longer pregnant…When I went back  later with the ever-present morning, noon and night sickness that went on for weeks after losing the baby, they discovered there was another baby in the other sac.

I simply do not understand why society expects men to be what I can only describe as “unattached” to their own grief.  This is something we as a society need to move away from. Those who push this mentality need to be strongly addressed.  Men are every bit as emotional as women are, and they may not always show it in the way society has demanded, but society and it’s expectations should not rule how an individual would handle this issue–ever…Quite frankly, I am surprised at how many experts on grief, as a general rule, think that they are qualified to address the issue of  how to handle losing a child. This is especially true of those who never experienced such a loss.

Losing a child in any way is hell, but losing two in the way that Smith’s were lost would break even the strongest of men. However this man, despite those bad days, still drives on.  For that I admire him.  Nobody likes this little club that anyone who has lost a child is in, but I would like to see society lay off of the men…They can hurt like everyone else. Let them grieve because they also lost a child or (as in this case) more…

And for those who lost a child like I did, the men are still fathers just as assuredly as women who lost a child are still mothers.  People need to understand this, so please think before commenting and be just as considerate of the fathers as you should be of the mothers. That lost child (or those lost children) will remain a part of them forever.

 

Sarah Was Alone…

I have been lying here on the cold ground around here for a very long time.  I don’t remember why I was put here, but I remember I was being hit again and again all because I wanted a glass of milk.  Why would anyone leave me out here? I am only seven. I don’t understand them.  I thought Mommy and Daddy wanted me and loved me–Oh wait! Daddy is gone.  He wasn’t there. It was someone else who was there with my mom. Mommy said my daddy was not coming back and if he did, she’d leave with us again.

I don’t remember much after being hit on the head the third time. I think I was crying and went to sleep.  I had to pee but couldn’t move and I was having this weird dream.  I was looking down at myself but I wasn’t hurting anymore.  I was so afraid that I was going to be hit again but nothing happened.  Not for a while.  I felt like I was flying and saw a light, but I couldn’t leave my baby sister there. It didn’t feel right so I stayed.

Then I saw Mitch, my moms boyfriend come in. He started yelling things I couldn’t understand and had Mom take my baby sister out of the room…I watched him shake me but I didn’t feel anything. He was saying some bad words too, but he did say he was sorry and started crying.  I’m not mad at him. I just don’t understand why he sent me here. I don’t understand why Mom let him hurt me all the time either.  I know she got mad because I wouldn’t say he was my daddy at school so she hit me too sometimes over it.  I still don’t understand where my real daddy was and why he didn’t come.

Mitch turned on the big light and I saw blood on my head and nose.  My eyes were open but I couldn’t blink and my lips were a weird bluish color.  I think I threw up at some point too before I was in this place watching everything. Mitch put me in a blanket and a bag and put me in the truck while Mom kept crying.

I am glad you’re close to me now because talking helps me not to feel so lonely out here.  It’s like you can’t see me yet but I can see you.  You come out here a lot, picking flowers. I think we might be in the same grade. I want to play but I know you can’t seem to hear me so I’ll just keep talking and hope someone finds me soon.

It’s neat to watch you play, Little Girl.  I like watching people do things I couldn’t do anymore around here but there is a neat thing about this. I don’t feel stickers in my feet or bugs crawling on me.  I’m in a place where you can’t see me well but I can see you.

I’ve seen it rain and such out here a lot too.  The trees are pretty when that happens and the birds come out. I’ve seen it snow a lot out here too.  I think I’ve seen 10 springs and 10 big snows!  It’s all so pretty and I don’t have to be afraid here.  You have blond hair like me! And you like dolls too! That’s neat!  I do miss Mom but not Mitch. I wonder where they are. Why don’t they come back for me?  I’m in a blanket not far from where you are.  Maybe your mom and dad will come find me and get me out of here soon.

Here come’s someone! It’s a man!  Is that your dad? Man he’s tall.  Wait, he’s getting closer to me.  Can you see me?  I’m right here? Please don’t leave me again! I’m so tired of being alo–wait! He’s sending you away and looking down. He’s saying “Oh my god!” or something like that and pulling out a little black thing he’s talking into. Now he’s crying. Why? Oh wait…He saw my teddy bear. It’s really dirty.  I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make anyone cry! Honest–I–wait…

I can hear a bit now…Not much…

“Look Sheriff, you need to come. I found–”

Oh can’t make out the rest but he’s still here, crying and looking down where Mitch put me. Now there is a lady but he yelled, “Get them out of here! I’ll explain when the sheriff gets here!” and she left with you and a younger kid really quickly. He kept looking at my teddy bear, but he didn’t touch it. He just stood there crying. Why? I’m not hurting.

shallow grave teddy bear

Oh please don’t cry! I’m really not hurting now! I’m just glad to not be alone…That’s the worst thing–alone at night even though I don’t feel hurt and such.

He’s been here crying for a long time and praying too.  My grandma prayed a lot!  Now there are other people here.  They have brushes and such and tweezers, shovels…All kinds of stuff and a yellow tape. Why can’t they just get me out of here?  Wait.  Maybe they are trying.  The older guy is shaking his head.

“Who would dump their kid out here like that?” I heard him say.

“Mom and Mitch would.” was my response but he didn’t hear me.  None of them hear me.  Wait! This one older guy said my name–another guy with a badge.

“From what the grandmother told me years ago, it could be Sarah Hawthorne.” he said.

“That is my name! He knows my name! I”m so glad! Someone sees me and knows my name!”

Wait! There’s that light again and it looks like it’s gonna rain, too.  Hey! I see Grandma and two other people with her!  One’s in an army uniform! He says he’s my daddy!  The other one is an older guy. I think I’ll go with them now!  I’m just glad someone found me so I’m okay!  Thanks for hearing me! I am so happy now!  Bye! I’m not alone anymore! You’ll be alright now so don’t cry, okay?!

 

Let It Be…Let It Be…Let It Be…Let It Be…There Will Be An Answer…Let It Be…

Unusual title isn’t it?   Very lovely and moving song the Beatles did back then…It comes to me now, bringing me a calm amidst what could become a storm in my city, county and for Texas before it is all said and done…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdopMqrftXs

It is a beautiful time to watch this flawed film, I think…It has places in it that aren’t perfect, but in this version there is a line that Sir Paul sings that states, “There will be no sorrow…” , yet for some family unknown at this time, there will be sorrow.   Like this particular video, life is not perfect, and it is not meant to be so…

This is the face of innocence...This is the face that demands justice--if it was her that was found this week...

Hailey Dunn went missing a long time ago.  Searchers tirelessly gave of their time to search for her. As time went on, things slowed down but this girl was never forgotten.  Whether it was her body found or not, we all need to keep one thing in mind. The body of that poor soul found this week is that of someone who is missing from his or her family’s dinner table.  He or she has not been at home to open Christmas presents, or to give family members a hug, and they haven’t heard that voice say “I love you” for some time.  That voice is now forever silenced.

Hopefully, for a family somewhere, the search will end…However the grief will begin, and if this body turns out to be that of Hailey Darlene Dunn, the whole state will be shattered–as well as the out of state volunteers that came to help search for her.   Once this body is buried with dignity, it is then the search for answers and for justice will begin.  Hopefully the voices of justice and compassion will rise to speak for this soul, whoever it may be.  Whoever this person is, he or she certainly did not deserve to be abandoned in such an area–alone.

Now that I have voiced my opinion, this song is once again reverberating in my mind but it is not the same tonight…”Our hearts are now in times of trouble, Mother Mary come to me, there will be an answer…Let it be…”

Goodnight everyone…Peace be to you all.

Hailey Dunn…Another chat, an Eerie Feeling and Dueling Voices…

I guess Law Enforcement told people in the media to not talk to Billie Dunn or Shawn Adkins  until cleared of suspicion in the Hailey Dunn case.  Anyway here is a link to tonight’s chat because it left people with a bad taste in their mouths.  It left me thinking of the movie “Small Sacrifices” for some weird reason.  Chat link (recorded from earlier) is included here:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bringthemhomenow/2011/03/11/bring-them-home-now-exclusive-shawn-adkins-speaks-colonel-monaco-from-patriot-outreach?&utm_source=remail&utm_medium=listener

I would still like to know WHY she called in if she knew the nature of the program.  Shawn Adkins was supposed to be on it.  What keeps drawing those two to come back to the program given Adkins’ earlier statements?  They get grilled, and they hang up the phone every single time only to call back–and sometimes are heard muttering an expletive or two before hanging up…Are they gluttons for punishment or what?  Don’t they have a lawyer, and IF they do, why isn’t he or she telling them to keep their mouths shut?   I am willing to  bet that Diane Downs wishes that she did.

I suppose only they can answer those questions, but Mr. Peter Hyatt (who you will hear speaking) is analyzing her statements.  Maybe the fact that she keeps showing up, as does Adkins is what is making me think of the movie.  It is as if the more  the finger is pointing at them, the more Billie  puts herself out there.  If I were her, I would have already retained an attorney.

I think the focus needs to go back to finding the child and on what Clint Dunn has to say since he puts himself out there, at his own expense in search of this daughter.  He also has no problem confronting the tougher questions–the “whys” since he’s probably asking himself those same things.  To me, it doesn’t matter what happened yesterday as much as what I see now.  This man has gone through some inner changes.   He now has focus and a purpose–very much like John Walsh and Paul Klaas.  Hopefully, Hailey will be brought home safely.

There is no love greater than the love of a parent for a child–so I really hope people  are wrong about Billie Dunn, but it is getting harder and harder to keep an open mind now.  I can see why both sides feel as they do.  One voice is telling us not to pass judgment until we have all the facts and/or Hailey is home again.  Then there is that other, more ominous voice that within that loudly resonates from the shoulders of many people in this country like a horned red devil  that says, “She’s dead. Someone’s gotta pay.”  Face it–we all know it’s what most think.  However, Elizabeth Smart was brought home safely and so was Jaycee Dugard, so there is always hope. 

This particular chat with Billie Dunn was disturbing in other ways besides tone and demeanor.  Billie was accused of misleading one of the hosts, but where?  What did she say? I do not see that this was so clear.   Better yet, why was Hyatt making a big fuss about whether she ‘watched the ball drop’ on New Year’s Eve?  Yes, I can see the evasiveness of her answer:  “I was watching the news.”  So what?  They may have shown clips of it drop on New Year‘s Eve, so why couldn’t she have watched the news AND saw the pre-recording of the ball dropping while watching the news?  Without evidence, they cannot just go in and lock anyone up. Opinions do not = evidence.  One can listen to the chat from the link above and get a good sense of the division that rocks the community and the country, and that is reality–not conjecture.

Now this leads me to my last question…Who or WHAT  is making the real brownie points off of this story besides the media?  The people and community remain divided.  Armchair experts burn up keyboards all over the country telling people what they should think about this case.  God forbid you disagree with them or they want YOU to play detective to prove YOUR opinions as fact, when they are merely that–opinions (aka more conjecture).  If someone wants to do that, get them to do their own homework.  A writer doesn’t have to “prove” and opinion or theory.   Now if spewing something as fact, that is a different story. For all I know, if there ever IS a trial, there may have to be a change of venue all the way to Bulgaria because of the way the American press is butchering the facts of the case. 

What are the facts?  I can list those quickly: 

 ONE–Hailey Dunn is and has been missing since December. 

TWO–law enforcement should have went ahead with this as an abduction to be on the safe side.  4 days is too long.  It should be mandatory to treat ALL juvenile disappearances as possible foul play so that the chances are better of finding the child in question.

THREE–Porn is found on a computer that several people had access to including Adkins at HIS mother’s house.  The memory stick may have been in the Dunn household, but it could have been his and not hers.  Possession is 9/10 of the law and that is true, but proving actual ownership has to be done by tracking down credit card transactions and IP addresses and/or getting a warrant for a list of subscribers to the website.  

FOUR:  They are no closer to finding Hailey or the “why” of her disappearance than they were at the end of December because of all the rumors and conjecture flying about.  Until she is found, there can be no “how” or “why” explained in a logical way. 

Until Hailey is home–everything is conjecture and the media always scores.  The last thing we should be on is a witch-hunt.  Jaycee Dugard’s stepdad was suspected in her vanishing and he was totally innocent.  I remember a lot of people pointing at the father of Elizabeth Smart as well. People can always be wrong.  I struggle with which side to believe every time I listen to the playbacks.  I am not going to point fingers because it is not in my nature.  However, I will wait and see what transpires next.   At this point, it is all we can do is wait and watch as things unfold.  Hopefully, Hailey’s family members will not  have to wait as long as Jaycee Dugard’s family had to. 

Am I the only one having conflicting feelings on this case?   Listen to the chat and tell me what you think.  Am I seeing something that may not be there in the behaviors Dunn and Adkins show?  Better yet, why are these chats, the YouTube clips and the Nancy Grace clips triggering my thoughts of Diane Downs?  Am I missing something here?  Like everyone else, I will probably be able to answer those questions later in time.  However, I am not going to listen to either of those “inner voices” arguing too much.  To do so would serve little purpose until more facts are in. 

$15,500 Reward offered

 

 

A Tale of Sean and Shawn (RE: Hailey Dunn)

I am not one to rush to judgment.  I am not one to lean toward the ultra-right or the ultra-left.  I am currently listening to the chat archive on the link below which you can also listen to at your convenience…Shawn Adkins does speak on it for about 47 minutes and then hangs up.  I’ll explain why later.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bringthemhomenow/2011/03/04/bring-them-home-now-exclusive-shawn-adkins-speaks-out?sms_ss=facebook

As stated earlier, this is the chat archive that Shawn Adkins spoke on tonight.  I didn’t get to hear him because he had already hung up prior to my getting into the chat, but I did come across another young man who is the symbol of the divisive nature that has come to Texas since the day of Hailey Dunn’s disappearance.   I won’t put his last name in here, but his name is also Sean.  He is a 17-year-old young man who grew up around the suspect, Shawn Adkins.

You won’t hear him in chat, but he did the type in the visual chat.  During that time, I saw that people were being hard on him so I began to probe a bit.  As I probed, I realized that this young man is a 17-year-old high school student who felt that  it his “duty”  or obligation to defend Mr. Adkins.  This has truly and deeply affected this young man.  As he was relaying what he knew of the suspect in the disappearance, as far as the time they spent together, a few people started to ask him questions as if he had inside knowledge of the case. 

The atmosphere in that chatroom was very hostile at times–especially toward this young man.  It finally lightened up a bit when he revealed that he is only 17-years-old.  He is a very articulate and intelligent lad, I might add.  This is his perception of Mr. Adkins: 

1.  The man is like a brother to him and has known him since the 3rd grade. 

2.  To him, Mr. Adkins is totally innocent.

3.  This young man had no clue that Mr. Adkins would have anything like kiddie porn or bestiality on his computer because, in fact,   he did NOT spend much time with Mr. Adkins at the Dunn residence.  ***Note:  He never met Hailey Dunn either, but did attend classes with her brother.***

There is also an allegation that he Mr. Adkins an affair. It turned out that he only knew this woman for three days.  The woman (Andrea) had put messages on FB that they were going to get married and such.  What I would like to know is that if this happened close to the disappearance, why isn’t law enforcement  looking at this woman?  From what has been said, she did stalk the guy.  I’m not saying that he is not guilty, so don’t take it the wrong way–I am saying they need to drop HER as a possible suspect.  Rejection is a powerful motive for kidnapping and murder IF that is what went down here. 

I realize that the above is a theory, but so is anything else that has been put forth so far. I listened to the taped conversation with Mr. Adkins after the chat ended.  He stated that several people could have had access to the computer in question, and he could be right on that issue.  If the memory stick was left unattended at any time,  then anyone could have put the images on it.  I know it sounds as if I am playing devil’s advocate, so please bear with me.

Note:  The computer was not found at Billie Dunn’s residence, but the memory stick was.  This is important–especially to any prosecutor.

Judging by the demeanor of Mr. Adkins, he does come across as being straight forward–and I didn’t have visual so I couldn’t tell you about his facial expressions or body language.  I can see the quality in his voice that puts people at ease.  It is this type of demeanor that enables him to bond with others.  And for me, it would instantly make me feel as if he’s hiding something given my own insane upbringing, so I had to keep an open mind.

Now back to the other Sean.  As I said earlier, he was a straight forward kid trying to defend another friend like any other  teenager.   He said that Adkins was like a big brother to him.  The minute it came out that he is only 17-years-old, and given his family situation, it became obvious that this young man looked up to Mr. Adkins with respect and admiration–a vulnerable place for a teenager to be when someone close to them falls.  Just ask the families and friends of Ted Bundy and Dennis Rader.  I feel sympathy for the families and friends of all concerned in this case. IF it turns out Adkins does end up being accused of it, the souls of many will be severely wounded.

It is crimes like these that destroy all families–not just the victim’s but the families of the guilty who have done NOTHING wrong.  With that in mind,  the only thing I am hoping to point out here is that it doesn’t matter where you stand on the guilt or innocence of Billie Dunn or Shawn Adkins, but we must be careful of those–especially the youth that might get caught in the crossfire and chaos of a case like this.  It is sad that when one person thinks another is innocent that there is a tendency by SOME–NOT ALL people to spew their vitriol against those who having  a different  opinion from their own.  When they realized the boy’s age, they calmed down and there were only a few doing it, but it was sad nonetheless.

It is best on this case to agree to disagree.  Shawn Adkins did abruptly hang up and leave the program when confronted about statements he denies making about hiding a body.  Does it matter? Right now we are no closer to finding her and bringing her home–which is exactly where our focus should be.  

As far as that young man Sean, I told him that his focus at 17 should not be to take on a burden that isn’t his–let alone the world on his young shoulders.  This is a young man who should be getting ready for prom night, getting a rose for his favorite girl, getting a set of wheels (if he doesn’t have them already) and preparing to enjoy his upcoming summer.  Shawn Adkins is a big boy and can take care of himself.  Perhaps the school counselors should try talking to the students again–and instead of probing about the case, work to heal their wounded spirits at this point.  If this is how Sean feels about Adkins, I can see how horrible the students must feel about Hailey still being missing.

Sean even answered a couple of questions that reflected his maturity to those present.  I asked what he would do  if Mr. Adkins had come to him and said anything about being involved with Hailey’s disappearance.  He said, “I would convince him to do the right thing and go to the police, and help the family find her.”  For a 17-year-old,  with something like this burdening him, that is a remarkable thing to state.  Most teenagers do not think on those terms until older.  This speaks well of the parents who raised him, and of how his character will be when he is a grown man.

It is my hope that one day soon, Hailey will be brought back safely.  My thoughts and prayers are with the families and friends of all.  All are being harmed by this case.  If it turns out that someone else altogether did this, then the constant railing would have been for nothing, and several lives and relationships will have been tossed out of the window.   The only ones that will have gained anything will be those in the media, the commentators  and all the armchair experts–even if most of them were well-intended.

Correct Amount is $15,500 reward! Someone had better tell Nancy Grace!

 
Note that the reward amount is now corrected.  Thank you for providing the link with the updated story.

Strength in the Darkest of Days, Clint Dunn Speaks…

I have to say that I admire Clint Dunn.  He has faced scrutiny and adversity since the disappearance of his 13-year-old daughter, Hailey and has only come back to show himself to be stronger and more determined to find his child.  He has gone all over the state to make sure people know what she looks like, and he makes sure that they know that there is still an empty place setting at the dinner table, if you know what I mean. 

I cannot begin to imagine what he must be going through, but I do know this:  He will not rest until she is found and the questions are all answered.  Please do not judge him for his past.  It is not of importance to THIS matter.  The fact of the matter is this: 

A child is missing.  She must be found.  The question is “When?”  Once she is found, then we can ask “Why?”  Until then I urge people to keep their focus on this child and keep her face in mind.  One never knows what might happen or what small thing one might see that just might be the key in bringing this child home.  Thank you.  Here is a link to the latest information on this matter.  Clint Dunn states clearly: “I’m the voice for my daughter.” 

http://www.ktxs.com/news/27054473/detail.html

$25,000 Reward for infomration leading to this child's return. Please do not forget!