Nana knows this much…

The woman never could understand why people search for that which is so hard to find unless they look within. No one needs to spend a fortune to seek these things out. One only needs to be willing to learn and experience it–and to be silent and listen. Each person must do this on his or her own–wherever their wings take them–and it is nothing to fear. And that person must patiently wait for the answer. Fear keeps many from finding their vision and sometimes looking for it through others can prevent it–especially if we become too dependent upon them. Others can guide us, but we must find our path ourselves, in our own way, in our own time. The process is part of the adventure, and it can be rewarding–and for her it has been.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JI2o-nxHd8

I have my mountain to which I run to, and it is where I find my solace but I plan to go to Sedona, AZ or to Pecos, NM for a retreat at some point. There is strength in silence and beauty in places where nature can speak to us.  That being said, I hope you all have a great weekend.

 

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Nana Looks Back at 2012…

It is hard for me to look back at 2012 without first looking at 2011…In 2011, my area was in a severe drought.  Here are some before pics from 2011–the year of that horrible drought that isn’t QUITE over yet…

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This is at my beloved spring…Just one of my sanctuaries.  I knew when I walked here last year and it was still dry, that rain would come…I knew the creatures would return after all those fires, too.

This is where a lot of the water came (the snow earlier this year)  from and the result, for which I am grateful! I also took pics from the mountain last month so you could see how much water we got even from a distance! I am grateful for this!

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We got snow and rain! As a result, my sanctuary is now normal again for now, and for that I am truly grateful! Enjoy the view! I do! And as I go up the mountain on this first day of 2013, I will hope and pray that all of you get what you richly need first, what you want second!

I want to send out a special congratulations to Lauren Vasil of the Fizzgiggery blog for her achievements in 2012! She really rocks! Not many people can pull off a 4.0 average like that!  Lauren, may 2013 bring you great fortune and all you desire! You earned it!

And I’ll share this on twitter since I promised to get some pics out! Got my SD card back today and found my camera again yesterday so I’m back in business! Happy New Year everyone!

AND CHECK OUT THIS BLOG!  http://www.fizgiggery.com/

 

 

Nana Goes to the Sanctuary

The woman learned long ago that the words to this song hold very deep meaning for those who listen intently to it. With her pen in hand, she ventures up to her mountain again–and this time she won’t leave it until the arrows that are pulled from the quiver of her pen have found their target. The vision is there, but going deeper to get it is sometimes a challenge. It is often harder to follow through, but she will because this is a matter of finishing something–not starting anew. Some things are too important to not let the pen have its way. She learned long ago that those who should have stood by her were the very ones who stood in her way–hence the change of number and change of company. It paid off with a new gig… Have a great week! I hope you all dance…

And this is where one can find me–if one looks hard enough! 😉

And here’s a video to brighten your day…

 

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All I Really Need is NOW…

I have my heroine standing atop a cliff, the salt air filling her senses as she stares up at the moon–downing a bottle of gin.  She cannot escape the damned voices she hears. No amount of alcohol will enable her to break free.  She has no choice but to come to the realization that her life really has a purpose–NOW.  Besides that the one she is sent to help isn’t going to let her get away with this pity party she is on for very long.

And NOW he has the arduous task of convincing her that the voices she is hearing in her head are real and that he is also. Only he has to be careful with when and how he reveals the latter.  She already fears so many things, he knows that she would not know how to handle hearing the voice of a dead being who has a physical body that she can see and touch when some of these others leave her sleepless at night.  At least NOW he can step in somewhat to silence them so she doesn’t become ill.  Her emotions are fragile and he is fully aware that he must be careful at this point.

Psychologists were a regular part of her childhood, given that he didn’t have a clue as to block her from seeing his memories then, she saw what he had done and drew pictures of it.  The psychologists all thought she was blaming her father for not being there for her and made him the villain–rather than her mother–and that is why she drew the violent pictures from the time she was five.  Now it was up to the person who was following her and watching over her to change her perceptions of what was and what now is.

Their relationship began long before she was sent to boarding school.  It began the day she was born.  She could see and hear him even though he could not leave his crypt. But he cared for her  in her dream realm–where sunlight didn’t hurt him.  He taught her about History, Greek Mythology, numbers and languages, but she liked watching the birds.  By the age of 10 she was called a prodigy and her musical skills developed immensely. He thought he had gone mad from being unable to feed–but no…He would find out twenty-three years later that not only was she real, but she thought she imagined him all those years also.  She never remembers a face–only his shoes and she keeps looking at shoes. Another thing that puzzles him is that the closer they become,  the less he is affected by his curse.  However, she seems to become more frail as time progresses and they both get sucked into another realm at various points in this story.

And that’s just for starters…

My life is definitely changing.  I know I’m headed in a new direction as I evolve over time–then again, it’s a constant process, right?  I’m glad that I don’t have to worry over what happened before or what will happen tomorrow.  Just as change enters into my life, so it enters into the lives of my characters.  To say that a person can totally disassociate from their characters doesn’t seem to ring true with me.  I put my sons in a few characters.  I’ll see where the ride takes me.  It is as I said in my title, all I need is NOW.  This moment is what defines my day–not yesterday and certainly not  tomorrow.

The person I once was is dead so I had to have a bit of a “memorial” for her.   I know now that I can survive anything–and have for the most part. It is for that reason, I do not look for my validation from others.   I find that when I am up on my mountain, taking in the air and looking for miles into the horizon to figure out where I should go next.  However, I don’t worry about it.  I know things will fall into place.  What I need comes to me.  Just like with people I know, what they need comes to them–and if I can help them along a bit–I do so gladly.  That is one part of me that never changes…I am always trying to be “there” for those that need me and I have come across many, many good people in the past two and a half years that I am truly grateful for.

However there is one thing that never changes about me.  I stay behind and follow tracks.  I never run ahead.  I just feel safer that way so it is all fine.  I think it is better to finish the course and feel comfortable than to make a race of it and wipe out. I take the time to see, smell, hear and touch…I also try new food once in a while now.

And when I stress, I meditate upon things and get centered.  If still uneasy, I change my latitude and it miraculously changes my attitude into one of total gratitude–especially when by a body of water or a river. I love the sound of water lapping on shore or the sounds of a river, spring or creek flowing!  I also love watching and listening to birds.  Combine that with a good breeze blowing through the trees and I’m in heaven.

Sometimes I play in the rain, too.  You can think I’m crazy if you like, but I will not let the kid in me die. I am of the  opinion that once a person lets the kid inside of himself/herself die, then there is absolutely no joy in life.  With no joy, there is no life and anyone who has a problem with someone who is enjoying their life and constantly tries to change that person has a mental problem.  That is my take on that matter. Anyway, if there is no thunder, that means there is no lightning.  I haven’t been stricken dead yet either so I guess I know what I am doing to some extent.

Nothing beats being outside-even in the rain.  Becoming one with that water and breathing that fresh, clean smell afterward is more invigorating than a lot of things to me.  The rainbows that sometimes show up are the icing on the cake.   I always have a dream about someone with a paint horse inside of a rainbow.  He keeps talking and motioning for me to come his way and then it is  almost as if I am running a race to get there. I get close but he moves just far enough back to keep me curious–and trying to catch up. I wrote about that on another part of the blog here…

Other than that, I’m getting ready to get other stuff.  I really feel that it’s time to put in a jewelry order and a mind is a horrible thing to make up!  Have a great weekend!

Rainbow Dream…

It eludes me, yet I pursue it.  I pursue it for the same reason the 3 wise men followed the Star of Bethlehem–according to what I was taught.  The rainbow I am pursuing has riches, but not gold.  It has many colors, but not all are visible.  All I know is I see it each time I close my weary eyes and know that it is getting closer to me.  I saw you in that rainbow yesterday.  You motioned for me to keep coming toward you, but  I wasn’t fast enough to reach you.

Yet I feel you as though you are bringing it to me.  Who are you that you keep telling me that my destiny lies with you and to keep trying?You keep telling me to have faith in myself and believe that I have received, but yet where is it?  What do you mean I already have this?  I do not understand and you still bid me to follow.  All I know is this:  You’re too congenial and peaceful to be perceived as a leprechaun.  You aren’t a wizard or a spirit trying to haunt me…So what are you?

When you are near, I feel peace.  I feel loved–but when I wake up, the real world is there for me with its cruel devices.  I protect my loved ones from this as much as possible.  And what is with the paint you are leading?  He’s a beautiful horse yet you never ride him. I don’t understand…He has a gentle disposition.   Both of you are wrapped in the colors of that rainbow–and when I reach for you both, you are too quick for me.  Please explain to me what this is to me?

I ask this again and you give me three words: “You are loved.”   Then it seems to be alright.  I think I know what this is now…I am dancing in a rainbow toward my destiny.  Somewhere you are out there waiting for me.  Fine…I will be there.  Eventually my speed will match yours and then I will be there beside you.

I Really Believe that Black Elk’s Wisdom is Needed Now

The True Peace

The first peace, which is the most important,
is that which comes within the souls of people
when they realize their relationship,
their oneness, with the universe and all its powers,
and when they realize that at the center
of the universe dwells Wakan-Taka (the Great Spirit),
and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us.
This is the real peace, and the others are but reflections of this.
The second peace is that which is made between two individuals,
and the third is that which is made between two nations.
But above all you should understand that there can never
be peace between nations until there is known that true peace,
which, as I have often said, is within the souls of men.

Black Elk, Oglala Sioux & Spiritual Leader (1863 – 1950)

This is probably one of the wisest men who ever lived.  I think it is time that people learned from the wisdom that he left behind. If they would, the world wouldn’t be destroying itself from within.  The origin of all the problems of this world lies within the heart of  each individual.  We must always look to “fix” ourselves before trying to right the rest of the world. Once done, there will be no need or desire to encroach into another’s realm.  Trying to “convert” the world will never work because the spirit of man will always be free and will never submit to the oppression of others–even if they have to talk to their creator in secret.  No individual or group will ever dominate the spirit of man because only the creator can decide the destiny of any individual.

Black Elk knew where freedom lies.  It lies within each of us.  I just thought I would share that.  The freedom to “be” can never be taken from anyone.  When we get into that quiet place to where we can each hear that small, still voice inside of ourselves and take direction from it, then will we be able to find what it is we need to do with our time–what is left of it.  Time is too short to squander, and very precious.  We must make the most of our existence while we are here.  Only what we impart to others determines the impact we have on the lives of those us.  That is why it is so important to work  on ourselves FIRST.

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone!

Waiting for You & The Road I’ve Travelled

 

WAITING FOR YOU

I leapt from the top of the cliff, my wings beating more swiftly than the wind that gave me speed. I swooped down to see the grasslands below and then made a right turn and headed for the south. Instinctively I knew when it was time to leave my nest and go toward the sea, but I waited for you until I could wait no more.

As my brothers and sisters took flight, I stayed just a little way behind them, hoping to find you among them, as we crossed many mountains and rivers. You never came. I then swooped upward into the mist and rose high above it thinking that you played a game of hide and seek.

I began to grow tired as the bright glow I could see was now becoming shades of blues, purples and pinks. I knew I had to stop for the night. As stars began to appear, I took rest with my brothers and sisters. After many days we reached the shore of our new home. As the sun greeted me the next morning, we again began to jostle around and move about, continuing our existence. And I went on living, still waiting for you.

THE ROAD I’VE TRAVELLED

Another winding road–twisting in all directions
taking me with it at every turn like a rushing wind
and not giving me reprieve for one second–
Until I call on Calypso to take charge
So I can just take in the rain she gives
While standing still as that road keeps winding…

***Note: May not be reproduced without permission. To get permission, email me at bahpofficer@yahoo.com***