You have beaten me yet I do smile
You have berated me but I still laugh
You have misjudged me and I have survived
You have bound me but never have found me
You have misused me yet I have prevailed
You have discarded me-the stone left unturned.
I stood up here again today. I waited quietly for the sign or a word from you. I felt so alone–isolated and unloved without you here. I kept dwelling on why you were taken from me, weeping softly as the willow trees harmonized along with the wind. It was then I felt the embrace of the South Wind. The warmth of it made me aware of a presence I hadn’t noticed before. I felt as if I were being embraced when I was asking why you were gone. I looked to my right and saw a number of blue jays in a nearby try. They didn’t move even if I moved closer, but kept watching me…
It was then I remembered something else–a story an old man in the village had told me about how the cardinals and blue jays watch over us at times. I could almost hear you telling me that it was alright. I could almost feel you wrap your arms around me in that wind. Then the clouds started to blow in and a mist began to fall…I then heard the cry of the Eagle. I knew the time to mourn would pass and that the Eagle would guide me to the point to where I could find you.
I began to walk further into the forest on that mountain and the rain began to fall. I found a cave and went inside. The storm grew worse, but I knew the Eagle guided me here for a reason. As the thunder roared and the rain quenched the thirst of the forest, I felt a slumber come over me. I laid down on my jacket and closed my eyes. I then walked through a field toward a magnificent lake. The mountains there were much taller than here and had more green trees and beautiful flowers. It was there I saw the white stallion. You once promised me that when I saw a white stallion, it would mean that I would go to another land, far away from the land of my tears.
I had little idea that when I arrived back home, a plane ticket to a place called Montana was waiting for me. I guess that it is there that I will discover a new world–and a new life. I did not know that I would be needed elsewhere, but you did. You told me this long before I lost you. I will go forth now and will shed no more tears. This was meant to be. What awaits me there, I am not sure, but I know that when you told me that I would leave here, I never thought that I would have to live this vision alone. Until we meet again. Farewell, my warrior.
At this moment you look in my eyes looking for an answer that you will not find
I left here so many moons ago knowing that I would now have to stand alone
and now you seem to have tracked me down though I didn’t want to be found
And what will you do when you find that you have lost the you that I knew?
You can’t run away from your lies for they are written in both of your eyes
and I can see the next lie is to be the one where you say you love me
but I know it’s a line that you play-that you’ve learned how to really convey
so I’ll walk toward a trail I know where no one else is allowed to go
It is there I find my soul is free far away from prying eyes for all to see
My shelter is in the very heart from the point of the comet’s start
and it hides me in every star above for in my universe is love
Though you’re not the one for me I know that I will first love me…
Before there ever is a we with one, there has to be a me…
Before there ever is a we with one, there has to be a me…
Please don’t be sad. You have much left ahead of you. You give of your knowledge freely. Why are you sad and depressed? If your attitude is not what you’d like it to be where you are, change your latitude. Yes you heard me. Go elsewhere. You must follow your spirit. If it bids you to leave you must leave–even if I want you to stay. I would never confine you like that because to chain you would be to destroy you.
What? Come with you? But I thought I stood in your way…You mean, you’ve actually thought this through? It’s scary for me. You are the vagabond. You are the traveler. I’ve never done this before. Are you certain that this is what you want? I don’t understand. What do you mean that I am the one who has been chained all this time? I see. We work as one. We should move about as one unit. Okay. You win. I don’t know why I thought you were pulling away from me, when actually you were pulling me closer.
I guess we both must go where our spirits direct–together…However, you lead the way because I feel safer following in the tracks.
WAITING FOR YOU
I leapt from the top of the cliff, my wings beating more swiftly than the wind that gave me speed. I swooped down to see the grasslands below and then made a right turn and headed for the south. Instinctively I knew when it was time to leave my nest and go toward the sea, but I waited for you until I could wait no more.
As my brothers and sisters took flight, I stayed just a little way behind them, hoping to find you among them, as we crossed many mountains and rivers. You never came. I then swooped upward into the mist and rose high above it thinking that you played a game of hide and seek.
I began to grow tired as the bright glow I could see was now becoming shades of blues, purples and pinks. I knew I had to stop for the night. As stars began to appear, I took rest with my brothers and sisters. After many days we reached the shore of our new home. As the sun greeted me the next morning, we again began to jostle around and move about, continuing our existence. And I went on living, still waiting for you.
THE ROAD I’VE TRAVELLED
Another winding road–twisting in all directions
taking me with it at every turn like a rushing wind
and not giving me reprieve for one second–
Until I call on Calypso to take charge
So I can just take in the rain she gives
While standing still as that road keeps winding…
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