Let It Be…Let It Be…Let It Be…Let It Be…There Will Be An Answer…Let It Be…

Unusual title isn’t it?   Very lovely and moving song the Beatles did back then…It comes to me now, bringing me a calm amidst what could become a storm in my city, county and for Texas before it is all said and done…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdopMqrftXs

It is a beautiful time to watch this flawed film, I think…It has places in it that aren’t perfect, but in this version there is a line that Sir Paul sings that states, “There will be no sorrow…” , yet for some family unknown at this time, there will be sorrow.   Like this particular video, life is not perfect, and it is not meant to be so…

This is the face of innocence...This is the face that demands justice--if it was her that was found this week...

Hailey Dunn went missing a long time ago.  Searchers tirelessly gave of their time to search for her. As time went on, things slowed down but this girl was never forgotten.  Whether it was her body found or not, we all need to keep one thing in mind. The body of that poor soul found this week is that of someone who is missing from his or her family’s dinner table.  He or she has not been at home to open Christmas presents, or to give family members a hug, and they haven’t heard that voice say “I love you” for some time.  That voice is now forever silenced.

Hopefully, for a family somewhere, the search will end…However the grief will begin, and if this body turns out to be that of Hailey Darlene Dunn, the whole state will be shattered–as well as the out of state volunteers that came to help search for her.   Once this body is buried with dignity, it is then the search for answers and for justice will begin.  Hopefully the voices of justice and compassion will rise to speak for this soul, whoever it may be.  Whoever this person is, he or she certainly did not deserve to be abandoned in such an area–alone.

Now that I have voiced my opinion, this song is once again reverberating in my mind but it is not the same tonight…”Our hearts are now in times of trouble, Mother Mary come to me, there will be an answer…Let it be…”

Goodnight everyone…Peace be to you all.

The Kid who WANTS to stay after school…

This is going to sound harsh, but when a kid wants to stay after school, volunteering to take trash for every teacher in the building, cleaning erasers (for those that still have blackboards), arranging books, etc…Let him or her do it–but make sure that if that kid is acting as if scared to go home–don’t drill the kid with a million and one questions.  Let your school counselor handle that or the principal because you do NOT want that monkey on your back.  You can make an anonymous phone call if you like, especially if the student seems to be afraid to go home, but whatever you do, let that kid have the sanctuary even if just for a half hour while you go to another room to do something else after you’ve locked down your computer or whatever.

If the kid starts hanging out with the maintenance people instead of going home, have the counselor or principal talk to the child.  Sometimes it is true that there is something going on at home that needs to be dealt with, and other times the kid has other stuff going on inside of his or her head that he or she may need help for, but is too afraid to tell Mom or Dad.

Why am I advising this?  I was such a child.  Back in the days I did that, my teachers were powerless except for two items:  Detention hall and tutoring.  If I couldn’t stay after of my volition; they KNEW I was acting up to get a  one hour detention hall.  I don’t know HOW they knew but they did.   My school was my sanctuary.  It was a refuge.  I would stay as late as 5 p.m. and a teacher always either gave me a ride to my grandmother’s house or followed to make sure I got there alright if I wanted to walk slowly. 

They always knew when I walked in with dark circles under my eyes that something wasn’t right at home.  If I fell asleep, they knew I had a very bad night, but I wouldn’t show the marks or even talk about the prison cell I called my home.  I never knew what to expect when I walked in.  Sometimes my stepmother, Judy, would be normal and lucid.  At other times, she would pick me up and throw me across the room.  One time she threw me into a wall, and another time into the kitchen counter for being late.  I never said a word about this–not even to my sister or my mother.

I would go into my room and stay there for the most part, being careful to try to avoid her.  One night a teacher called and told her I had to stay after school for extra tutoring because I was having trouble in math class.  Ten minutes later the science teacher called also.   They never knew it but I got a belt taken to me by her and told if my grades weren’t up to her standards in two weeks, I’d get worse.  My dad wasn’t home and she said if I told him or anyone else, she’d “take care of me real quick”.  Having been around her long enough to deal with her crap, I knew what she meant.  There were many times she pointed a gun at my head.  I never talked about it–even after she committed suicide  with that gun.

My response to her threat was to not bring my grades up.  I deliberately made sure of it.  That way I could be away from her for longer.  After that, she tried to say I was “retarded” and all kinds of crap to the point that she and my dad were fighting each other.  I’d go hide out on top of the garage roof until 1 or 2 in the morning to avoid the bull.  They day she shot herself was the day my dad kicked her out of the house.  I didn’t believe that she was dead when they pulled me out of class and broke the news to me either. 

There were many nights after the funeral I would have nightmares about her coming after me in zombie form–.22 in hand.  I woke up in cold sweats more than once.  I often slept with a butcher knife under my pillow and NOT a soul knew about that either. It was one thing to tolerate the bullies and the idiots I had to deal with day after day,  but when I had to go home to my own little piece of hell, that was another story.  I often would snap and just disengage from life.  My escape was through writing and through reading books.  I also watched old movies. If I really wanted to block out the world, I put on a set of headphones and rocked out full blast to whatever struck my fancy when–which could be anything from ABBA to ZZ TOP and all things in between depending on how old I was. 

One would think that after going through something like this that I would have ventured out and became more outgoing, but I didn’t.  I preferred to live in my cocoon that I built for myself.  I didn’t feel safe at school due to some bullying–but it got taken care of.  However, I still didn’t trust my peers. I rarely went out.  When I went to prom in my Junior year, some people were surprised.  When I showed up for the Senior prom, it shocked the school, I think.  I was even in my Senior play and did well in UIL journalism and such.  I made myself do all that–and take the class trip…I also made myself stay in Band my last 3 years of school.  It got me away from her.  Ironically,  I was still acting like this 18 months after she died.  I don’t know why to this day.  I did my occasional sneaking off to shop after I got paid or whatever–but I went alone.  I preferred it. 

The bottom line is I felt that maybe in her madness, she was correct when she said things like, “You can’t have friends” or “You aren’t pretty enough to be with anyone when you get older so you might as well join the Air Force”–and worse…I won’t repeat the horrible stuff she said.  Being that the bullies at school tended to get to me, I’m surprised I didn’t go off.  Then I got invited to a friend’s house for dinner one night about a year before her death.  My dad pissed her off and let me go.  This was different.  These people didn’t yell at each other or anything.  If someone dropped something, it was okay–they didn’t get hit.

About  six  years ago I totally freaked out because I accidentally broke an antique mixing bowl that belonged to my paternal grandmother when I dropped something on it–I didn’t drop the bowl itself.  My sister said, “It’s okay, Tina.  It’s just a bowl.”  “But it was Grannie‘s.” was what I said.  She just kept saying it was okay over and over.  She even came over and held me as I was crying at one point.  What she didn’t realize was that this triggered another memory I blocked out.  I got thrown across the kitchen and into a wall when I accidentally broke Judy’s favorite bowl while washing dishes. 

Anyway, years later I began to open up about it.  That was when I realized I wasn’t the “bad” kid or the “crazy nerd kid”.  Some of my favorite teachers told me point-blank that they knew something was wrong at home and they asked me how I was able to deal with it.  I shocked them.  I told them the first thing I had to do.  I had to forgive Judy.  I had come to the realization that she was mentally ill.  I finally understood the issues that were going on after talking at length with my sister about it.  The second thing I had to do was accept that I am not to blame for the actions she took.  I was a child. 

Now I want to give you some food for thought.  I was that kid that had caring teachers who took time for me when they didn’t have to.  I wanted to give back.  I still don’t think I can ever give back enough, but I can attest to this much–kids who were bullied back then often fantasized about making bullies “disappear” or wishing them “into the cornfield” and there isn’t a person alive that doesn’t know what that means.  Those of us who were bullied often wondered what it would have been like if we could be rid of the bullies for one day–or better yet–for life.  We actually talked about it.  Again I ask that same question from my bullying blogs, “What made it okay for a person to ever cross that line and actually act out on their fantasies?”

How many more Columbines will it take? Jonesboros? How many more suicides?  Can anyone answer that?  We’ve had more recent shootings also.  Even when you have caring teachers who do take time as mine did, why would the kids put them in the line of fire?  Has anyone ever asked these things?  I think we should.   Some of the ones who bullied me are totally different people today.  One would never know how cruel they were in high school, and they often choose not to remember the hurt they inflicted.  I have had classmates that I do not remember bullying me for the life of me contact me apologizing.  Maybe they were bystanders or something, but I honestly do not remember them bullying me and I told them so.  As far as I’m concerned, they’ve done nothing to me.

I will close with some questions:  Where does this bullying type of behavior begin?  Where do the kids learn it? At home? In the movies? WHAT?!  Have we really degraded our own society too much to the point that as parents we can’t fix this issue ourselves?  I would not mind getting the “right” answer for those questions, if they do exist. Is this going to be something we have to create penal codes for or should we just insert it into categories under the current penal code–such as assault, aggravated assault with a weapon, etc…?

Westboro Baptist Church–Political Organizations Should NOT be Tax Exempt!

My son came home from the war in Afghanistan almost 2 years ago.  There was a  point during which I wondered if I would ever really have him back, because he is not the same young man who left home.  Then today, someone pointed  out to me that he is here–just buried inside somewhere.  I think she is right.  Over the past couple of years, he has composed and played music again.  He can sing also.  That is one thing that this war cannot take from him–his passion for music.

He also has a love for animals–which is one thing this war could not change.  Here is a link to an interview he did with GQ while he was in Afghanistan.  I was upset when I read it, not because of the war itself, but it was because I could see in his own words what the war was doing to him.

http://www.gq.com/news-politics/big-issues/200904/obama-afghanistan-iraq-war-troops

It may have been my intuition but there were times I couldn’t sleep at night wondering if my boy was safe.   When he came home, I realized that he had been discharged a bit early–not by much.  I found out why a month later.  He was hurt when an IED exploded–killing others, but he survived.  He didn’t let the hospital tell us either because he knew he was going to live.  He said, “I didn’t want them to worry you, Mom.”  Right…He knew I worried anyway, but he knew I would have told my employer to take a hike if I had to and I would have been on the next military hop to Germany.

Now that he is back, he has been diagnosed with PTSD  and depression, along with some physical issues from the blast.  He can play piano as beautifully as he did before he left and he can still compose and sing.  These are the only two things that really give him a sense of purpose at the moment.  I intend to get him the program he wants to laying out his music on his computer as soon as I can get it.  I do not voice my opinions or show a lot of what I feel around him, but there is not much I won’t do for that young man who could have lost his life doing his duty.

Then there are those detractors who will go and protest a dead soldier’s funeral, but they don’t have the guts to show up to protest at a VFW fundraiser.  Why?  They have no cojones.   I am referring to those cult followers of the Westboro Baptist Church–and I shouldn’t call them a church because they are a political organization.  I feel that they should be audited and their tax exempt status revoked.  If they are receiving donated funds that are supposed to be used for charitable purposes, they should have to prove what they are using it for.  I also think that they are a modern-day cult at its worst.

Political rallies (which is what these protests are) are not EDUCATIONAL either if that is what they want to try to claim.  There is a huge difference between education and indoctrination.  Their own words condemn them as much as their actions.  They are a political organization spreading hate speech about military service members (many of whom die daily to protect their rights to act like fools), Jews and homosexuals–among other things.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westboro_Baptist_Church

While Wikipedia is a good place to start, I am going to put images here that should seal the deal for revoking their status.  If any other preacher that is actually with the Baptist Convention (which none of the denominations claim this bunch) were to do this, the Federal Government would have taken swift action, so why has this so-called church NOT been audited?  They call Barack Obama the anti-christ and say all kinds of stuff that put them in the same league as Jeremiah Wright.  Too many of these nuts and fanatics, which is what they are, are crossing lines that people would face jail time over under Bill Clinton–that is for sure!  A charge called “sedition” would cover it if treason wouldn’t. First, here is my favorite message to that group the WBC:

Appropriate for this bunch of fanatics...

 

I don’t know about the rest of you, but this does not sound Christian to me…Just listen to it.  Then get back to me. Click play at the top left of the page.  It’s nothing but hate speech and crap from that WBC group–and for  this “parody” (If you can call it that) I am quite surprised that Lady Gaga has not sued yet.  As I stated, to me it is hate speech…I am no fan of hers, and I often criticize some of her antics but this is so depraved that I would not blame her if she did sue.

http://meganphelpsroper.tumblr.com/post/653165655/ever-burn-wbc-parody-of-lady-gagas

And then the WBC will  put children into the mix.  Can they be charged for this type of crap?

I think it is a travesty that my son and others who survived, as well as  the many sons and daughters who did not, have either been wounded or killed defending the rights of those who constantly spread hate speech about them.  Groups like this are a shame to this country and should be scrutinized if they are tax exempt.  I deal daily with watching my son’s struggle.  I promise you not ONE of these detractors will ever do this to a live soldier or show up to protest a VA function either.  They only protest the dead because they can’t defend themselves.  That makes these fanatics nothing more than cowards.

In the meantime, I am thankful every day for my son’s presence.  I still hug him even though he doesn’t like that as much as he did before he left.  He knows that it is  a “mom thing”.  I have lunch or dinner with my boys when I can.  I will say this, they are grown men, but I would lay down my life for them in a heartbeat.  They know it too.  I just wish they didn’t have to deal with today’s crap.  I don’t think any parent wants their kid to deal with what is going on in today’s world.  We never would have thought this possible even 10 years ago.

I do have some bad news for the Westboro Baptist Church, though.  It does say in every bible I have read that “…Judgment begins with the house of God…” That tells me that groups like this will get theirs long before anyone they condemn will if that is the case.

Strength in the Darkest of Days, Clint Dunn Speaks…

I have to say that I admire Clint Dunn.  He has faced scrutiny and adversity since the disappearance of his 13-year-old daughter, Hailey and has only come back to show himself to be stronger and more determined to find his child.  He has gone all over the state to make sure people know what she looks like, and he makes sure that they know that there is still an empty place setting at the dinner table, if you know what I mean. 

I cannot begin to imagine what he must be going through, but I do know this:  He will not rest until she is found and the questions are all answered.  Please do not judge him for his past.  It is not of importance to THIS matter.  The fact of the matter is this: 

A child is missing.  She must be found.  The question is “When?”  Once she is found, then we can ask “Why?”  Until then I urge people to keep their focus on this child and keep her face in mind.  One never knows what might happen or what small thing one might see that just might be the key in bringing this child home.  Thank you.  Here is a link to the latest information on this matter.  Clint Dunn states clearly: “I’m the voice for my daughter.” 

http://www.ktxs.com/news/27054473/detail.html

$25,000 Reward for infomration leading to this child's return. Please do not forget!